once again, chris fills my thoughts at 2 in the morning
just read someone else's LJ that was on my friend's list from forevers ago and it got me thinking about chris and me. . .
chris is going into the marines *sigh*
i had my chance to get back with him and i didnt
we're not together right now b/c i didnt wanna be held back while he was gone for months at a time
i know people have to go and fight for our freedom, but why him?
ryan and john are already in the marines and they are getting shipped out soon and it sucks that i dont know when will be the last time i see them
war is so scary and i hate thinking of the fact that chris will be one of the guys fighting and killing other people
i dont want him to get hurt and i try to be supportive but i dont know how much longer i can keep encouraging him to basically leave me
i know i'm being irrational and controlling
i want chris all to myself
he's doing an amazing thing for his country and here i am complaining b/c my life is gunna be a little bit harder for a while
i want to tell him again that i love him, but i'm afraid of what he's gunna say back to me
the biggest thing i regret it breaking up with him
i never thought i would miss him this much and he's only 7 hours away
what will i do when he's more hours away from me and i can't talk to him whenever i want
i love when he calls me and when i get those cute text messages, but when he's gone there will no longer be any phone calls or text messages
he told me he would write whenever he gets the chance, but everyone knows that never works out
i'm afraid of losing the one person that i love this much
maybe i'm being crazy but i dont know what to do with myself anymore without him
i wish i could tell him these things but for now i'm gunna continue being supportive and try not to let the underlying feelings show
i just dont want us ending this way if the worst happens :(
-vicki-
chris is going into the marines *sigh*
i had my chance to get back with him and i didnt
we're not together right now b/c i didnt wanna be held back while he was gone for months at a time
i know people have to go and fight for our freedom, but why him?
ryan and john are already in the marines and they are getting shipped out soon and it sucks that i dont know when will be the last time i see them
war is so scary and i hate thinking of the fact that chris will be one of the guys fighting and killing other people
i dont want him to get hurt and i try to be supportive but i dont know how much longer i can keep encouraging him to basically leave me
i know i'm being irrational and controlling
i want chris all to myself
he's doing an amazing thing for his country and here i am complaining b/c my life is gunna be a little bit harder for a while
i want to tell him again that i love him, but i'm afraid of what he's gunna say back to me
the biggest thing i regret it breaking up with him
i never thought i would miss him this much and he's only 7 hours away
what will i do when he's more hours away from me and i can't talk to him whenever i want
i love when he calls me and when i get those cute text messages, but when he's gone there will no longer be any phone calls or text messages
he told me he would write whenever he gets the chance, but everyone knows that never works out
i'm afraid of losing the one person that i love this much
maybe i'm being crazy but i dont know what to do with myself anymore without him
i wish i could tell him these things but for now i'm gunna continue being supportive and try not to let the underlying feelings show
i just dont want us ending this way if the worst happens :(
-vicki-