(no subject)

[pornstar_barbie]

mm your memories sting like icy hot fire
confused elements becuz
some
dont
exist
in all my life up until now
i have never been so abused and then
come to find out that
it
didnt
happen
that clear perfect thursday night
with you thrashing every inch of my body
my wounds are still open
..maybe if you would stop picking at my scabs
what hurts the most is
when i used to think about you
id think about cowboy cove and talking zebras and strawberry shakes, and
fucking the shit out of you even wen my moms like 10 feet away .. ha
but now i just think about one moment. thats it.
it was that thursday ( the one wen u cheated on her- "but never happend" remember? - k)
and we just got done fucking and we were talking and you felt bad cuz
you just cheated on the person you were in love with
and it was getting to be like 5am something n ur like oh shit i gotta go
n i hugged you and said fuck me.. and you said okay and .. right there on the couch
that like 12 hours later your gf was sitting on. .. but it never happend
and when i think about that moment
i just think about the power i had that night
and it was awesome
but it makes me sad
the kind of sad that cant b blown away in 2 minutes with twinkle twinkle little star
like every other bipolar time
how can i be sad
how can i write this?
if
it
never
happend