blaaaaaaargh
Okay, kids. Today I'd like to talk about RPS.
What is up with this? I mean, I could deal with people making up stories about fictional characters. That's all well and good. There's no chance of, say, Harry Potter finding out what you made him do with, say, Oliver Wood and Percy Weasley and Professor Snape and Gilderoy Lockhart and the entire Bulgarian quidditch team and a unicorn and half a dozen house elves and a broomstick and a tin of toffees and a partridge in a pear tree in the prefects' bathroom/dungeon/owlery/Chamber Of Secrets/ what have you. Because he's NOT REAL.
But there are among us certain people so DEPRAVED and SADISTIC that not only do they have the brass nerve to SUGGEST that certain actual real breathing-and-talking-and-walking-around people, both of whom are male and both of whom have so far shown NO inclination towards having relations with people of their same sex, are/were/have always been doing each other-- they go so far as to WRITE their own twisted accounts of such things! Imagine!
I for one will not stand for it. C'mon, guys. Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel are just friends. I mean, it's not like they're practically humping each other in every picture ever taken of them ever. And it's not like they've known each other since grade school and, during their adolescence, spent whole evenings staring into each other's mouths to practice diction. And it's ESPECIALLY not like Art's ever mused about what Paul might be like in bed, and made said musing available to the public, and included in it words like 'riding', 'caressing' and 'stroking'. Please. Take your disturbing predilections elsewhere.
P.S.: And I hardly need mention it, but obviously Paul Simon has never had a sexual relationship with any member of Ladysmith Black Mambazo, much less ALL OF THEM ALL AT ONCE MY GOD HOW COULD YOU. Everyone knows that interracial buttsexin' is illegal, anyway.
What is up with this? I mean, I could deal with people making up stories about fictional characters. That's all well and good. There's no chance of, say, Harry Potter finding out what you made him do with, say, Oliver Wood and Percy Weasley and Professor Snape and Gilderoy Lockhart and the entire Bulgarian quidditch team and a unicorn and half a dozen house elves and a broomstick and a tin of toffees and a partridge in a pear tree in the prefects' bathroom/dungeon/owlery/Chamber Of Secrets/ what have you. Because he's NOT REAL.
But there are among us certain people so DEPRAVED and SADISTIC that not only do they have the brass nerve to SUGGEST that certain actual real breathing-and-talking-and-walking-around people, both of whom are male and both of whom have so far shown NO inclination towards having relations with people of their same sex, are/were/have always been doing each other-- they go so far as to WRITE their own twisted accounts of such things! Imagine!
I for one will not stand for it. C'mon, guys. Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel are just friends. I mean, it's not like they're practically humping each other in every picture ever taken of them ever. And it's not like they've known each other since grade school and, during their adolescence, spent whole evenings staring into each other's mouths to practice diction. And it's ESPECIALLY not like Art's ever mused about what Paul might be like in bed, and made said musing available to the public, and included in it words like 'riding', 'caressing' and 'stroking'. Please. Take your disturbing predilections elsewhere.
P.S.: And I hardly need mention it, but obviously Paul Simon has never had a sexual relationship with any member of Ladysmith Black Mambazo, much less ALL OF THEM ALL AT ONCE MY GOD HOW COULD YOU. Everyone knows that interracial buttsexin' is illegal, anyway.