LJ Idol Week 17, in which we have a word. Or several. {This year my word is...}
Each November or thereabouts, a committee in charge of the Oxford English Dictionary chooses a "word of the year" - a newly minted vocabulary word that has recently entered the English lexicon and reflects the personality, trends, and general vibe of the year and culture that gave rise to it.
I humbly submit the following for future consideration.
Hipsterdamus n. - 1. The psychic ability to like cool things before they're cool for the sole purpose of hating them once they become cool. 2. A person possessing this ability.
[ex: The hipsterdamus next door made us come over and listen to his 20-year-old poems about how awesome Pokemon is and his 15-year-old poems about how much he hates Pokemon.]
Douche Ex Machina n. - An insufferable idiot or particularly obnoxious person who comes out of nowhere and ruins your plans.
[ex: That hipsterdamus was a real douche ex machina, because I had plans to go to a party before he dragged me over to listen to his stupid poems.]
Schadenfreudian Slip n. - When an annoying person on Facebook posts an FML update, and you automatically click "Like".
[ex: The douche ex machina from last night was whining on FB today that his pet rock ran away from home. I shoulda scrolled past, but I had a schadenfreudian slip and clicked Like.]
Hemorrdroid n. - A piece of technology whose primary purpose is to be an unrelenting pain in the ass.
See also: Any smartphone or tablet with an autocorrect function and one or more inappropriate words saved as predictions.
Paramoron n. - When your secret lover blows the cover on your torrid affair due to a really stupid mistake.
[ex: My super hot secret lover turned out to be a real paramoron when he made a public post checking into Uncle Spanky's Porn Palace and tagged me in it.]
Pal-Qaeda n. - A group of frenemies who passive-aggressively terrorize each other on a regular basis.
[ex: Several people from my Pal-Qaeda at work think it's hilarious to keep making posts checking into Uncle Spanky's Porn Palace and tagging me in them.]
Beatlejuice n. - When someone claims to have seen, conversed with, or been haunted by the ghost of a dead rock legend.
[ex: I knew my roommate was a sleep walker, but I figured it might be a case of Beatlejuice when she started playing air guitar in her sleep and trying to stage dive off the bed.]
Nomenglacier n. - 1. When it takes forever to figure out how to pronounce an otherwise common name due to some ridiculous trendy spelling. 2. Names that create this effect.
[ex: My friends Aeshleigh and Mheagainne wrote me a note and signed it, but because of their nomenglaciers, it took me me ten minutes to figure out who it was even from.]
Syntaxia n. - Involuntary twitching that results when you're forced to use txt spk in order to stay under Twitter's character limit.
See also: the empathetic twitching you just did when you had to read the phrase "txt spk" and could only imagine how painful it was to type it.
Dicktionary n. - A complete tool who makes up dumb words on social media.
See also: porn_this_way
The-Sore-Ass n. - Person who arbitrarily assigns new meanings to existing words and gets spectacularly butthurt when people are all like "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
See also: all of Tumblr
I humbly submit the following for future consideration.
Hipsterdamus n. - 1. The psychic ability to like cool things before they're cool for the sole purpose of hating them once they become cool. 2. A person possessing this ability.
[ex: The hipsterdamus next door made us come over and listen to his 20-year-old poems about how awesome Pokemon is and his 15-year-old poems about how much he hates Pokemon.]
Douche Ex Machina n. - An insufferable idiot or particularly obnoxious person who comes out of nowhere and ruins your plans.
[ex: That hipsterdamus was a real douche ex machina, because I had plans to go to a party before he dragged me over to listen to his stupid poems.]
Schadenfreudian Slip n. - When an annoying person on Facebook posts an FML update, and you automatically click "Like".
[ex: The douche ex machina from last night was whining on FB today that his pet rock ran away from home. I shoulda scrolled past, but I had a schadenfreudian slip and clicked Like.]
Hemorrdroid n. - A piece of technology whose primary purpose is to be an unrelenting pain in the ass.
See also: Any smartphone or tablet with an autocorrect function and one or more inappropriate words saved as predictions.
Paramoron n. - When your secret lover blows the cover on your torrid affair due to a really stupid mistake.
[ex: My super hot secret lover turned out to be a real paramoron when he made a public post checking into Uncle Spanky's Porn Palace and tagged me in it.]
Pal-Qaeda n. - A group of frenemies who passive-aggressively terrorize each other on a regular basis.
[ex: Several people from my Pal-Qaeda at work think it's hilarious to keep making posts checking into Uncle Spanky's Porn Palace and tagging me in them.]
Beatlejuice n. - When someone claims to have seen, conversed with, or been haunted by the ghost of a dead rock legend.
[ex: I knew my roommate was a sleep walker, but I figured it might be a case of Beatlejuice when she started playing air guitar in her sleep and trying to stage dive off the bed.]
Nomenglacier n. - 1. When it takes forever to figure out how to pronounce an otherwise common name due to some ridiculous trendy spelling. 2. Names that create this effect.
[ex: My friends Aeshleigh and Mheagainne wrote me a note and signed it, but because of their nomenglaciers, it took me me ten minutes to figure out who it was even from.]
Syntaxia n. - Involuntary twitching that results when you're forced to use txt spk in order to stay under Twitter's character limit.
See also: the empathetic twitching you just did when you had to read the phrase "txt spk" and could only imagine how painful it was to type it.
Dicktionary n. - A complete tool who makes up dumb words on social media.
See also: porn_this_way
The-Sore-Ass n. - Person who arbitrarily assigns new meanings to existing words and gets spectacularly butthurt when people are all like "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
See also: all of Tumblr