trans biatching
Because of nixwilliams rant on his public blog, I thought I would document two bad trans ally etiquette samples I've experienced lately.
The first was someone from my training. I was paired up with her to do roleplays. We were having a conversation about being mentally exhausted from a long day of learning/processing. She turned to the trainer when he came in and said (about me) "she was just saying that she was really hyper"
Now, there has been a lot of bullshit with being misgendered by guest speakers and other people, and it's really ok, but I just thought that this person might be unclear. Later, when we were the only two people in the room, I said to her "oh just to let you know, I use male pronouns", she said that she knew and I smiled and turned to leave the room. Then we had the following conversation:
"Why would you think I didn't know?"
"Oh, you just used female pronouns for me earlier"
"No I didn't"
"Ok, well I heard you say she"
"When? tell me when I did that, because I really don't think that I did"
"(goes through boring reenactment of the situation)"
"Ok. Maybe. Sorry about that."
Heyyy...um I wasn't trying to seek reparations or publicly embarrass you, I was just giving you a "heads up". Just roll with it, lets acknowledge it and move on with our lives.
The other is that TODAY, 3 separate people in 3 separate incidences saw fit to comment about what a pretty girl I had been. Then didn't follow up that thought with anything. Now, it would have been boring if they'd been like "errr but yr heaps hot as a boy too lolz!" But still, it's kind of grating to have the insinuation that you were better/more desirable whatever when you were in the closet.
The first was someone from my training. I was paired up with her to do roleplays. We were having a conversation about being mentally exhausted from a long day of learning/processing. She turned to the trainer when he came in and said (about me) "she was just saying that she was really hyper"
Now, there has been a lot of bullshit with being misgendered by guest speakers and other people, and it's really ok, but I just thought that this person might be unclear. Later, when we were the only two people in the room, I said to her "oh just to let you know, I use male pronouns", she said that she knew and I smiled and turned to leave the room. Then we had the following conversation:
"Why would you think I didn't know?"
"Oh, you just used female pronouns for me earlier"
"No I didn't"
"Ok, well I heard you say she"
"When? tell me when I did that, because I really don't think that I did"
"(goes through boring reenactment of the situation)"
"Ok. Maybe. Sorry about that."
Heyyy...um I wasn't trying to seek reparations or publicly embarrass you, I was just giving you a "heads up". Just roll with it, lets acknowledge it and move on with our lives.
The other is that TODAY, 3 separate people in 3 separate incidences saw fit to comment about what a pretty girl I had been. Then didn't follow up that thought with anything. Now, it would have been boring if they'd been like "errr but yr heaps hot as a boy too lolz!" But still, it's kind of grating to have the insinuation that you were better/more desirable whatever when you were in the closet.