(no subject)
There is a thing that whithers in us
after the stresses and troubles of growing older we become protective of ourselves, we become respectful of survival and the need of those who depend upon us. We sacrifice. We weary and insulate and this thing that whithers collapses beneathe the terrible burden of being.
As it weakens we might be wise enough to see it slipping and lament its passing. We might try desperately to regain it. Or to stop its demise. But being pushed here, pulled there, hit by this this and torn by that we soon develop habits that protect us and destroy it.
Its understandable, if you get hit often enough you'll start raising your hands in defense... you might, maybe, after a long time wrestling with life's pains and troubles, begin to hit back... even a pacifist can be pushed when cornered.
As a young person we fear nothing... we face life with passionate ABANDON!!! We hunger for experience... we crave asomething different... delight, pain, hatred, love burn and course in streaming pools of ecstacy! Its all there, right beneathe the surface and often boils over in a cascade of torture and joy,. We make the worst decisions, pursue the most dangerous will-o-whisps and fall headlong, face first into disaster. OVER AND OVER.
Aging we learn to stop dating crazypsycho trouble magnets, we no longer quit a job to go to the city with an acid dealer, we stop skipping meals in favor of riding motorcycles or making music or having great sex or skipping around frightening people who "never learned to live"
And honestly, its a pretty good thing... because we have house payments, school clothes, utility bills and car payments to make. other people to please! We make concessions that bring greater success in long term goals.
But this thing whithers... it collapses and if we are not careful it dies... We stop noticing sunsets, flowers in bloom, little smiles. We can no longer appreciate a single moment captured in our awareness like a dew drop slipping from the tip of a leaf... falling... into eternity's sun dappled soil to be soaked in and nourish the life, the love of BEING in every moment.
In surviving we lose what makes living worthwhile. We become husks of dried flesh, self concerned and driven by hope that maybe somewhere over there we might FEEL something... think something, be something yet unconceived...
but we aren't... we instead slip slowly into decline. Dreams become a stupid notion we discarded with our youth, our integrity, our purpose for being.
collapsed, discarded... a vaccum. crushed.
p
after the stresses and troubles of growing older we become protective of ourselves, we become respectful of survival and the need of those who depend upon us. We sacrifice. We weary and insulate and this thing that whithers collapses beneathe the terrible burden of being.
As it weakens we might be wise enough to see it slipping and lament its passing. We might try desperately to regain it. Or to stop its demise. But being pushed here, pulled there, hit by this this and torn by that we soon develop habits that protect us and destroy it.
Its understandable, if you get hit often enough you'll start raising your hands in defense... you might, maybe, after a long time wrestling with life's pains and troubles, begin to hit back... even a pacifist can be pushed when cornered.
As a young person we fear nothing... we face life with passionate ABANDON!!! We hunger for experience... we crave asomething different... delight, pain, hatred, love burn and course in streaming pools of ecstacy! Its all there, right beneathe the surface and often boils over in a cascade of torture and joy,. We make the worst decisions, pursue the most dangerous will-o-whisps and fall headlong, face first into disaster. OVER AND OVER.
Aging we learn to stop dating crazypsycho trouble magnets, we no longer quit a job to go to the city with an acid dealer, we stop skipping meals in favor of riding motorcycles or making music or having great sex or skipping around frightening people who "never learned to live"
And honestly, its a pretty good thing... because we have house payments, school clothes, utility bills and car payments to make. other people to please! We make concessions that bring greater success in long term goals.
But this thing whithers... it collapses and if we are not careful it dies... We stop noticing sunsets, flowers in bloom, little smiles. We can no longer appreciate a single moment captured in our awareness like a dew drop slipping from the tip of a leaf... falling... into eternity's sun dappled soil to be soaked in and nourish the life, the love of BEING in every moment.
In surviving we lose what makes living worthwhile. We become husks of dried flesh, self concerned and driven by hope that maybe somewhere over there we might FEEL something... think something, be something yet unconceived...
but we aren't... we instead slip slowly into decline. Dreams become a stupid notion we discarded with our youth, our integrity, our purpose for being.
collapsed, discarded... a vaccum. crushed.
p