On Smallville TV Series
I have been waiting to write this for a while now and I am not sure why. Mostly because anyone who sees it and likes comics book probably knows… it’s really really bad.
But so addicting.
I started watching this series when it first came out because I like comic books. I mean who the fuck doesn’t like super heroes? Since then, I watched the first season, fell out in the second, saw something in the middle, and then a few weeks ago I was bored at work and started from season 6 and watched till the end.
My biggest complaint with this series is that it is sooo non-canon. Like a lot. They bent the fuck out of the rules for it. And as a comic book fan, it’s just annoying to say “hey that didn’t fuckin’ happen!” all the time.
Now this was a great concept; an alien tries to be a kid, and one day becomes the superhero we always read about. Insert Tom Welling:
Okay, okay, so he is an insanely attractive man and honestly a good pick. I have seen him in a lot of different things and he is an amazing actor. When he played a bad guy, he was fuckin’ scary.
In this series he is one of the most annoying people I would ever have the displeasure of meeting.
Let me get this straight. The whole point is that this guy is a wholesome farm boy from a good family but he lies and he is incredibly dumb.
But we will get to that later.
His arch enemy is Lex Luthor of course, and they were FRIENDS!
Now, we don’t need to talk about how gay gay surfer boy gay they made their friendship, but we will mention it anyway. JESUS CHRIST THEY ARE SUCH CLOSET CASES!
I actually enjoy this portrayal of Lex Luthor in many ways. He is cunning, cruel, and just plain evil. He is always at war with himself until the bitter end. But you know what? He is DUMB! I mean Jesus Christ, anyone could have figured out Clark’s secret in like… a week of knowing the guy. Luthor spends the whole show going “I KNOW SOMETHING IS DIFFERENT HERP A DERP!” but to no avail. I mean WTF? In the comic book world he is known to be one of the smartest villains ever, but he couldn’t deduce nor prove this? That is just dumb.
The rest of the supporting cast throughout the seasons is just so… schizophrenic. One day Clark can’t solve crimes without his friends or he can’t cope with life without his family, then the next they are just getting in his way because they have the brains of microwave ovens.
So let’s talk about a few recurring themes throughout the show.
Family: Family is the most important thing in the world, but too bad they either lie to you, die off before you have a chance to tell them how much they mean, or they turn out to be evil.
Friends: They will totally stick by you and lie as they see fit to protect you. This may mean a lot, but it’s okay because they love you! Right?
Love: You don’t get to have it. Something gets in the way. Usually lies..
Money: Where the fuck does it all come from? Some fortune from somewhere I dunno… but don’t worry, we have it.
Unconsciousness: Did you know that if you want to knock someone out, all you have to do it just push them slightly so they hit the floor? I mean I know we are fragile as humans but Jesus Christ. I had my head slammed into a concrete floor and I just got back up, head bleeding, but I was conscious! Hell, I never see people get knocked out in real life. But in this show people just fall down and are knocked out just in time so Clark can come in and save the day without his identity being revealed. Convenient. But after he reveals his identity, suddenly they start taking their iron pills and can live through pretty much anything.
Lying: Ah, right, this is the big one. This is my second biggest complaint on this series. How the fuck much people lie to each other. Now don’t get me wrong, I will lie to my parents that things are okay if I am sad. I will lie to people online if i think it’s funny. But on the whole, I tell the truth. I thought the whole thing about Clark was that the Kents raised him to be a good person, so why the fuck does he lie so much? And why is he so surprised when it happens to him?
I mean some of the characters in this show are just unbelievable. I’m sorry, but if I was a super powered alien, I would have told Lana like after a few months if not sooner. Why the hell wouldn’t you? To protect her? The moment she starts being all “WHY ARE YOU KEEPING THINGS FROM ME?!?!” I would have said “You are going to feel like a cunt in just a moment because guess what… I AM SAVING THE WORLD!” and yeah, that is what happened, but he could have avoided so much nonsense by doing it sooner. I mean I never lie to my girlfriends; you just don’t do it. Why is the truth such an optional thing in this series? I understand it makes for drama, but my fucking god, you can’t watch an episode where Clark doesn’t lie to SOMEONE (just about) or someone doesn’t lie to someone else.
The whole series would have been easier if the people in it were honest from the beginning. Instead they spend the whole time going around in circles because no one said “hey, you should know this.” Go back and watch, tell me how many episodes would have the whole conflict removed if the characters told each other the truth from the beginning? You will be amazed.
Alright, so the writing is obviously bad, like really bad. Sure, it can be funny, but it is so obviously cheesy and transparent that it hurts. I mean there are some pretty cool moments, and that is what kept me coming back to this show.
The cameos were fuckin’ cool. But I am guessing they couldn’t get the money to call Bart “Flash”. I am not sure why. Damn copyright issues.
Overall though, the story was filled with so many plot holes you couldn’t help but lose your keys in them, and the characters that should be deep come off as conceptual cardboard cutouts.
I’m sorry, but you can’t expect me to trust you because you say “you have to trust me’ RIGHT AFTER YOU DO SOMETHING UNTRUSTWORTHY! Go back and watch; like Clark grabbing Klara and slamming her to the ground only to follow with “you have to trust me!”
NO, I DON’T.
I would have given up on all of these people a long time ago, not just “well, you have lied to me so much during out entire time of knowing each other, I’mma just go with it.” No! No! no! Any person in real life would have ditched all of these motherfuckers after one episode’s worth of them being retardedly dumb liars.
Oh, another writing fuckup is the super inconsistency of kryptonite. Sometimes a little piece sends Clark into a fit, and other times he is like “Hah! I care not!” Why the fuck does Klara just know to shoot her eye beams at it, but Clark is like “I’m just going to die, instead”. You know that episode where he was in the cage with kryptonite walls? Why didn’t he just break through the floor? I mean WTF? How much kryptonite does it take to hurt him?
It is really annoying.
Oh, and why the hell is his speed so inconsistent? They make it seem as if he freezes time, yet then he is slow when it really counts and just barely makes it. Good work, writing team.
Production value. So we have a total of about 6 or 7 sets, and that is the fuck it. The farm house, the barn, Daily Planet, school, forest, Daily Planet, secret facility. How the fuck are there so many facilities underground? Surely people would have accidentally fallen into them by now. Does no one notice the construction crews working under the streets all the time? And why the fuck do people keep ending up in the barn? I mean at one point it was ridiculous. All of his enemies found their way there. And they all fuck it up and he just fixes it. Also it seems to be really fragile. Why didn’t he start putting in concrete at some point?
The CGI effects are just… bad. And random. LOOK AT MY GREEN SCREEN.
The saving grace is the acting. The actors are pretty good, overall. They are just stuck playing dumb characters. I have seen most of them in other shows and movies and I liked them well enough. In Smallville, they just had some bad writing to deal with. Tom Welling does some amazing things with that he has to work with, but still, sometimes the characters say things and you’re just like:
“...”
Because it was just that bad. Lana was annoying as shit because she was all over the place. But that just happens sometimes.
The mood and tone that are set are fitting, they do make Smallville feel like a small-ville, and Metropolis does feel like a city, except that they have all of 3 streets built in it.
The music was emo-tastic, constantly, but that is what they were going for; sad drama music. So all I can say is “Bet they are never gonna’ play that song again” as I listen to it. Anyone else remember Vertical Horizon? ME NEITHER! And all the bands in the show will fade just like them!
The worst part of all of this
The show is extremely fucking addicting. Seriously… Like I would go home, and be happy knowing the next day at work I was gonna’ watch more of this obviously bad show. It has so many things against it, but every cameo made me want more. I loved watching the interactions of Superman and other heroes. It’s like OH SHIT DR. FATE! OH SHIT ZATANNA! I love those guys.
(Sigh)
So the big question everyone probably wants to know, should I watch this show?
Depends, what else could you be doing? If you have another show that you could be watching that you know you will like, you’re probably better off with that. If you really like comic books… don’t watch this show it will upset you.
But if you only mostly like comic books and want to see something interesting, then you can do worse than Smallville. It really will suck you and make you want to continue watching it, especially in the later seasons. It will also make you yell at the television or computer screen at the characters:
“WHAT THE FUCKIN FUCK YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKERS?!?!”
at their absurdly dumb reasons for lying or just dumb actions in general.
So people who want to get into comic books, this is a good intro, way better than something like the Spiderman movies (ahem, number 3 and 4) or the Green Lantern movie. But Smallville is not something for the comic elite who want to see how the origins worked out.
And if you just want to see hot dudes/chicks, well hey, they have that.
So when you watch this show I want you to look out for a few things. How many times do they say “You have to trust me” after doing something untrustworthy, how many episodes would of been finished sooner if everyone was telling the truth? And how many times do people get resurrected?
So enjoy it, don’t enjoy it, whatever. Won’t hurt my feelings none.
P.S. I will probably end up watching this series again some day.
But so addicting.
I started watching this series when it first came out because I like comic books. I mean who the fuck doesn’t like super heroes? Since then, I watched the first season, fell out in the second, saw something in the middle, and then a few weeks ago I was bored at work and started from season 6 and watched till the end.
My biggest complaint with this series is that it is sooo non-canon. Like a lot. They bent the fuck out of the rules for it. And as a comic book fan, it’s just annoying to say “hey that didn’t fuckin’ happen!” all the time.
Now this was a great concept; an alien tries to be a kid, and one day becomes the superhero we always read about. Insert Tom Welling:
Okay, okay, so he is an insanely attractive man and honestly a good pick. I have seen him in a lot of different things and he is an amazing actor. When he played a bad guy, he was fuckin’ scary.
In this series he is one of the most annoying people I would ever have the displeasure of meeting.
Let me get this straight. The whole point is that this guy is a wholesome farm boy from a good family but he lies and he is incredibly dumb.
But we will get to that later.
His arch enemy is Lex Luthor of course, and they were FRIENDS!
Now, we don’t need to talk about how gay gay surfer boy gay they made their friendship, but we will mention it anyway. JESUS CHRIST THEY ARE SUCH CLOSET CASES!
I actually enjoy this portrayal of Lex Luthor in many ways. He is cunning, cruel, and just plain evil. He is always at war with himself until the bitter end. But you know what? He is DUMB! I mean Jesus Christ, anyone could have figured out Clark’s secret in like… a week of knowing the guy. Luthor spends the whole show going “I KNOW SOMETHING IS DIFFERENT HERP A DERP!” but to no avail. I mean WTF? In the comic book world he is known to be one of the smartest villains ever, but he couldn’t deduce nor prove this? That is just dumb.
The rest of the supporting cast throughout the seasons is just so… schizophrenic. One day Clark can’t solve crimes without his friends or he can’t cope with life without his family, then the next they are just getting in his way because they have the brains of microwave ovens.
So let’s talk about a few recurring themes throughout the show.
Family: Family is the most important thing in the world, but too bad they either lie to you, die off before you have a chance to tell them how much they mean, or they turn out to be evil.
Friends: They will totally stick by you and lie as they see fit to protect you. This may mean a lot, but it’s okay because they love you! Right?
Love: You don’t get to have it. Something gets in the way. Usually lies..
Money: Where the fuck does it all come from? Some fortune from somewhere I dunno… but don’t worry, we have it.
Unconsciousness: Did you know that if you want to knock someone out, all you have to do it just push them slightly so they hit the floor? I mean I know we are fragile as humans but Jesus Christ. I had my head slammed into a concrete floor and I just got back up, head bleeding, but I was conscious! Hell, I never see people get knocked out in real life. But in this show people just fall down and are knocked out just in time so Clark can come in and save the day without his identity being revealed. Convenient. But after he reveals his identity, suddenly they start taking their iron pills and can live through pretty much anything.
Lying: Ah, right, this is the big one. This is my second biggest complaint on this series. How the fuck much people lie to each other. Now don’t get me wrong, I will lie to my parents that things are okay if I am sad. I will lie to people online if i think it’s funny. But on the whole, I tell the truth. I thought the whole thing about Clark was that the Kents raised him to be a good person, so why the fuck does he lie so much? And why is he so surprised when it happens to him?
I mean some of the characters in this show are just unbelievable. I’m sorry, but if I was a super powered alien, I would have told Lana like after a few months if not sooner. Why the hell wouldn’t you? To protect her? The moment she starts being all “WHY ARE YOU KEEPING THINGS FROM ME?!?!” I would have said “You are going to feel like a cunt in just a moment because guess what… I AM SAVING THE WORLD!” and yeah, that is what happened, but he could have avoided so much nonsense by doing it sooner. I mean I never lie to my girlfriends; you just don’t do it. Why is the truth such an optional thing in this series? I understand it makes for drama, but my fucking god, you can’t watch an episode where Clark doesn’t lie to SOMEONE (just about) or someone doesn’t lie to someone else.
The whole series would have been easier if the people in it were honest from the beginning. Instead they spend the whole time going around in circles because no one said “hey, you should know this.” Go back and watch, tell me how many episodes would have the whole conflict removed if the characters told each other the truth from the beginning? You will be amazed.
Alright, so the writing is obviously bad, like really bad. Sure, it can be funny, but it is so obviously cheesy and transparent that it hurts. I mean there are some pretty cool moments, and that is what kept me coming back to this show.
The cameos were fuckin’ cool. But I am guessing they couldn’t get the money to call Bart “Flash”. I am not sure why. Damn copyright issues.
Overall though, the story was filled with so many plot holes you couldn’t help but lose your keys in them, and the characters that should be deep come off as conceptual cardboard cutouts.
I’m sorry, but you can’t expect me to trust you because you say “you have to trust me’ RIGHT AFTER YOU DO SOMETHING UNTRUSTWORTHY! Go back and watch; like Clark grabbing Klara and slamming her to the ground only to follow with “you have to trust me!”
NO, I DON’T.
I would have given up on all of these people a long time ago, not just “well, you have lied to me so much during out entire time of knowing each other, I’mma just go with it.” No! No! no! Any person in real life would have ditched all of these motherfuckers after one episode’s worth of them being retardedly dumb liars.
Oh, another writing fuckup is the super inconsistency of kryptonite. Sometimes a little piece sends Clark into a fit, and other times he is like “Hah! I care not!” Why the fuck does Klara just know to shoot her eye beams at it, but Clark is like “I’m just going to die, instead”. You know that episode where he was in the cage with kryptonite walls? Why didn’t he just break through the floor? I mean WTF? How much kryptonite does it take to hurt him?
It is really annoying.
Oh, and why the hell is his speed so inconsistent? They make it seem as if he freezes time, yet then he is slow when it really counts and just barely makes it. Good work, writing team.
Production value. So we have a total of about 6 or 7 sets, and that is the fuck it. The farm house, the barn, Daily Planet, school, forest, Daily Planet, secret facility. How the fuck are there so many facilities underground? Surely people would have accidentally fallen into them by now. Does no one notice the construction crews working under the streets all the time? And why the fuck do people keep ending up in the barn? I mean at one point it was ridiculous. All of his enemies found their way there. And they all fuck it up and he just fixes it. Also it seems to be really fragile. Why didn’t he start putting in concrete at some point?
The CGI effects are just… bad. And random. LOOK AT MY GREEN SCREEN.
The saving grace is the acting. The actors are pretty good, overall. They are just stuck playing dumb characters. I have seen most of them in other shows and movies and I liked them well enough. In Smallville, they just had some bad writing to deal with. Tom Welling does some amazing things with that he has to work with, but still, sometimes the characters say things and you’re just like:
“...”
Because it was just that bad. Lana was annoying as shit because she was all over the place. But that just happens sometimes.
The mood and tone that are set are fitting, they do make Smallville feel like a small-ville, and Metropolis does feel like a city, except that they have all of 3 streets built in it.
The music was emo-tastic, constantly, but that is what they were going for; sad drama music. So all I can say is “Bet they are never gonna’ play that song again” as I listen to it. Anyone else remember Vertical Horizon? ME NEITHER! And all the bands in the show will fade just like them!
The worst part of all of this
The show is extremely fucking addicting. Seriously… Like I would go home, and be happy knowing the next day at work I was gonna’ watch more of this obviously bad show. It has so many things against it, but every cameo made me want more. I loved watching the interactions of Superman and other heroes. It’s like OH SHIT DR. FATE! OH SHIT ZATANNA! I love those guys.
(Sigh)
So the big question everyone probably wants to know, should I watch this show?
Depends, what else could you be doing? If you have another show that you could be watching that you know you will like, you’re probably better off with that. If you really like comic books… don’t watch this show it will upset you.
But if you only mostly like comic books and want to see something interesting, then you can do worse than Smallville. It really will suck you and make you want to continue watching it, especially in the later seasons. It will also make you yell at the television or computer screen at the characters:
“WHAT THE FUCKIN FUCK YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKERS?!?!”
at their absurdly dumb reasons for lying or just dumb actions in general.
So people who want to get into comic books, this is a good intro, way better than something like the Spiderman movies (ahem, number 3 and 4) or the Green Lantern movie. But Smallville is not something for the comic elite who want to see how the origins worked out.
And if you just want to see hot dudes/chicks, well hey, they have that.
So when you watch this show I want you to look out for a few things. How many times do they say “You have to trust me” after doing something untrustworthy, how many episodes would of been finished sooner if everyone was telling the truth? And how many times do people get resurrected?
So enjoy it, don’t enjoy it, whatever. Won’t hurt my feelings none.
P.S. I will probably end up watching this series again some day.