Here I Go Again on My Own...

[porcupinemattie]

For some unknown reason, an Alamo Drafthouse employee decided tonight would be the night of reckoning and quite properly slapped me in the face on my way to the restroom. Though she apologized profusely, I couldn't quite help but notice a faint glimmer of glee in her eye. "Aha," I thought, "so this is the sweet dulcimer of revenge," but muttered

Comments

[delzinko]

I've been slapped at bars before; it's never a good time because the alcohol makes my face numb and, on occasion, a stream of spittle issues from my shocked mouth. That magnifies the embarassment about two hundred and ten percent unless you can come up with something really pithy to say, which is always an issue when I'm full of liquor. "Hurrrrk... no like." is my standard response.

Drunken Lyricism

[porcupinemattie]

Tis a shame you cannot come up with any better than that, though I doubt I would either. However, when I find myself drinking, I normally fly into some type of rage wherein I will just reach for the other person's jugular and send them packing. People have learned not to criticize me as my voice normally rises 200% and they regret ever having taken me from my dungeon of despair. They will say typical things like "there will be people there," and I will fly into a spit of fury and wrestle them to the ground, screaming "WHAT DOES IT MATTER?!? WHAT DOES IT MATTER?!?" I don't know what happens afterward, but it's amazing how many of them are willing to speak to me the next day. I would even settle for an awkward glance.