Happy Birthday to Me
Greg's dad had a heart attack last Saturday. he went for open heart on Wednesday. He came home late Jan. 1 -- which was the only birthday present I needed.
maybe now that his dad's home, Greg will come home-home for the first time in a week.
i miss him. i miss the way we used to be. sometimes, i think he just doesn't even want to be friends with me anymore. i don't know what changed and i don't know how, but i hate it.
Adam didn't call. he told once, last year on my birthday, that no matter what, "i promise, no matter what, i was always call you on your birthday."
i don't know why i'm surprised that he lied.
i miss him every day of my life.
all i want, is to be with him, to just talk to him. to hear his voice and know he's alright.
the two men i love most in my life are the two most distant friends i have.
i can't reach them. i can't touch them, or hug them, or tell them how much i care..
it's draining to fail at every turn.
i'm tired.
***
this post was turning very EMO very quickly and i apologize.
New Years Eve was fun-- though, two bottles of wine, shot of absinthe, and about 5 pipes would make almost anything fun.
Bday was nice-- family event mostly.
hopefully i'll be hearing from Joe and/or Amanda soon about coming to visit me sometime this month... YOU BETTER.
Tilli seems to think he's going to marry the insipid girl he met over the summer (june, i believe). this makes me laugh, and also want to vom. A) no one has met the girl (since the summer) but once. B) she doesn't want him to smoke butts. she doesn't know that he still does. But my favorite reason: C) Tilli continues to hit on me (ex: say/express inappropriate things/desires, inappropriate touching when no one's looking) every time we see each other.
ya. that marriage is solid.
Chuck's moved out. Sad. and Paul and Sam are moving in. this is an experiment in my ability to handle the insane, i think.
BAM.
ps. check out The Fratellis and The Hawsley Workman.
maybe now that his dad's home, Greg will come home-home for the first time in a week.
i miss him. i miss the way we used to be. sometimes, i think he just doesn't even want to be friends with me anymore. i don't know what changed and i don't know how, but i hate it.
Adam didn't call. he told once, last year on my birthday, that no matter what, "i promise, no matter what, i was always call you on your birthday."
i don't know why i'm surprised that he lied.
i miss him every day of my life.
all i want, is to be with him, to just talk to him. to hear his voice and know he's alright.
the two men i love most in my life are the two most distant friends i have.
i can't reach them. i can't touch them, or hug them, or tell them how much i care..
it's draining to fail at every turn.
i'm tired.
***
this post was turning very EMO very quickly and i apologize.
New Years Eve was fun-- though, two bottles of wine, shot of absinthe, and about 5 pipes would make almost anything fun.
Bday was nice-- family event mostly.
hopefully i'll be hearing from Joe and/or Amanda soon about coming to visit me sometime this month... YOU BETTER.
Tilli seems to think he's going to marry the insipid girl he met over the summer (june, i believe). this makes me laugh, and also want to vom. A) no one has met the girl (since the summer) but once. B) she doesn't want him to smoke butts. she doesn't know that he still does. But my favorite reason: C) Tilli continues to hit on me (ex: say/express inappropriate things/desires, inappropriate touching when no one's looking) every time we see each other.
ya. that marriage is solid.
Chuck's moved out. Sad. and Paul and Sam are moving in. this is an experiment in my ability to handle the insane, i think.
BAM.
ps. check out The Fratellis and The Hawsley Workman.