Hello dedicated readers.
My mother got me that skip it. It is glorious. I haven't had much oppurtunity to play since.. unfortunately... there isn't any room in the corridor or my bedroom.
I have to go to the lounge in order to play.. and people will see me there. I like to fuck around when my friends are around, but otherwise I feel like an asshole.
Rachael is sick and sleeping. I don't have to get up till ten. I better not get fucking sick. I can't deal with getting sick. it will make me sooo annoyed.
Chris got me beads.. I need to order like clasps and proper thread for one of them. I rethreaded it because I was afraid the old thread would break.. I guess I need wire or something..
he also got me a buttplug..
it seems weird, but it's sortof an ongoing joke with us.
so don't think he's a weirdo or jerk or anything.
the 27th is danny's birthday.
he hates birthdays apparently. or doesn't want one. for whatever reason. I like the feeling of a birthday. poor guy, he seems lonely. alot of people seem lonely or sad. I think it is mostly the whole winter lasting forever thing. I still have to finish Rickey's gear and work on trolls. Oh troll you backyarder.. you irk me. I prefer working for indy guys because they generate more biz and generally respect me more. Troll seems to respect me but what a weird kid. I did a practice run for his gear in terms of his shirt and his long tights. This way I can know if the pattern will work or not and what alterations need to be made. I don't like the shirt design.. so I will have to some up with something more Troll appropriate. I also want to finish my green blue transtion single enders. I only have like five. I don't know if two bags will be enough. if worse comes to worse i wll use more loose extensions in the front.
I have a lot of projects going on and I feel very stressed. on the bright side. it's been about 14 not quite days since there was a broken weiner.. hopefully it will heal soon because I know I was being inappropriate and begging up a storm. I think it makes him feel bad. Which it shouldn't the point is to make a partner feel desired right?
I wonder if I kiss and have sex wrong.
So in closing... uh winter should end and people should stop being sad.
oh and wash your hands frequently because you don't want to get sick.
oh and ummm
wish me luck.. my RA interview is this Tuesday.
:edit:
I'm developing like a maternal or perhaps dangerously close to girlfriendy issue.
I like to know when he gets home.. you know like in the event that he gets mugged or something.. know whether or not he's dead or alive. Which is pretty much the dumbest thing.
I don't exactly resent myself for it since I make my friends check in when they get back from new york.
perhaps I'm just safety concious.
The thing is I know he notices. I also am pretty sure he reads this..(which is sortof pissing me off btw)
it's like I'm playing mind games with myself.
like he snapped at me one time about it (the making sure he gets home okay) cause he was in a bad mood. which indicates he notices. I think he basically hates it when I act too much like a girlfriend. And I hate it in return when he gets mad at me for shit like that. The thing is I'm not sure how I'm supposed to act. I mean as far as I can tell neither of us is really looking for a relationship, but at the same time we're not ending what we have because it's convenient and we like eachother. Sometimes I feel like telling him to leave though. Just so that I won't like him more.
Fuck I like the guy I'm having the sex with.
P.S. it pisses me off that you read this, but for some reason I can't make myself make it friends only. I guess I pretty much want you to read this but at the same time, would rather not know that you read it.
P.S. this really annoying guy IMs me everyday pretty much
this is the extent of the conversation
Ray: hey sexy
....
Ray: hello
....
Ray: hello
....
Ray: hey
jesus fucking christ get a clue. leave me alone.
I have to go to the lounge in order to play.. and people will see me there. I like to fuck around when my friends are around, but otherwise I feel like an asshole.
Rachael is sick and sleeping. I don't have to get up till ten. I better not get fucking sick. I can't deal with getting sick. it will make me sooo annoyed.
Chris got me beads.. I need to order like clasps and proper thread for one of them. I rethreaded it because I was afraid the old thread would break.. I guess I need wire or something..
he also got me a buttplug..
it seems weird, but it's sortof an ongoing joke with us.
so don't think he's a weirdo or jerk or anything.
the 27th is danny's birthday.
he hates birthdays apparently. or doesn't want one. for whatever reason. I like the feeling of a birthday. poor guy, he seems lonely. alot of people seem lonely or sad. I think it is mostly the whole winter lasting forever thing. I still have to finish Rickey's gear and work on trolls. Oh troll you backyarder.. you irk me. I prefer working for indy guys because they generate more biz and generally respect me more. Troll seems to respect me but what a weird kid. I did a practice run for his gear in terms of his shirt and his long tights. This way I can know if the pattern will work or not and what alterations need to be made. I don't like the shirt design.. so I will have to some up with something more Troll appropriate. I also want to finish my green blue transtion single enders. I only have like five. I don't know if two bags will be enough. if worse comes to worse i wll use more loose extensions in the front.
I have a lot of projects going on and I feel very stressed. on the bright side. it's been about 14 not quite days since there was a broken weiner.. hopefully it will heal soon because I know I was being inappropriate and begging up a storm. I think it makes him feel bad. Which it shouldn't the point is to make a partner feel desired right?
I wonder if I kiss and have sex wrong.
So in closing... uh winter should end and people should stop being sad.
oh and wash your hands frequently because you don't want to get sick.
oh and ummm
wish me luck.. my RA interview is this Tuesday.
:edit:
I'm developing like a maternal or perhaps dangerously close to girlfriendy issue.
I like to know when he gets home.. you know like in the event that he gets mugged or something.. know whether or not he's dead or alive. Which is pretty much the dumbest thing.
I don't exactly resent myself for it since I make my friends check in when they get back from new york.
perhaps I'm just safety concious.
The thing is I know he notices. I also am pretty sure he reads this..(which is sortof pissing me off btw)
it's like I'm playing mind games with myself.
like he snapped at me one time about it (the making sure he gets home okay) cause he was in a bad mood. which indicates he notices. I think he basically hates it when I act too much like a girlfriend. And I hate it in return when he gets mad at me for shit like that. The thing is I'm not sure how I'm supposed to act. I mean as far as I can tell neither of us is really looking for a relationship, but at the same time we're not ending what we have because it's convenient and we like eachother. Sometimes I feel like telling him to leave though. Just so that I won't like him more.
Fuck I like the guy I'm having the sex with.
P.S. it pisses me off that you read this, but for some reason I can't make myself make it friends only. I guess I pretty much want you to read this but at the same time, would rather not know that you read it.
P.S. this really annoying guy IMs me everyday pretty much
this is the extent of the conversation
Ray: hey sexy
....
Ray: hello
....
Ray: hello
....
Ray: hey
jesus fucking christ get a clue. leave me alone.