(no subject)
Sooo...it's been a difficult week thus far. Monday night my mom had me come over so she could tell me something in person. That thing was her decision to take Willys to the shelter. He is just not adjusting well to Rene's presence and my mom is afraid he will lash out at her. I was so shocked! My mom said she cryed about it all weekend. She had to take him Wednesday so she wouldn't have time to change her mind. My heart is horribly achy. My mom took him yesterday. Dan and I tried desperatley to find a home for Willys with someone we know, but one day just wasn't enough time. I can't get over the fact that I never see him again. I was up til 3:00 working on an essay that's due today (btw - I actually started last week, so I wasn't even procrastinating! just being a perfectionist about it) and it took me a long time after that to actually fall asleep because I was involved in missing Willys. Wondering how he is coping, wondering if he feels abandoned, wondering if he misses us like we miss him. Mirri, I think we may have to stop by the shelter Saturday if they are open just to see if he is still there - check in on him.
This morning I forced myself out of bed after only three hours of sleep and was trying to get ready in a timely manner. I have been trying really hard to be perfect for Dan and have actually been taking his points into consideration. This led to me hating every outfit I put on. Everything was too snug, too small. So I finally decided to wear my pink plaid pants which I Love and they fit well. But the problem was they needed so mending in certain seems that should not be falling apart. This took about 30 minutes, so instead of leaving for school at 7:30 I left around 8:00. Well I got to school, met Dan and he immediatley started to insult me. "Isn't it kind of pathetic that you can't get anywhere on time?" etc. So we walked in silence. When it came time to depart he said he has lost patience with trying to always say nice things and that he was trying really hard to not call me names. I proceeded to get teary-eyed. I am so confused - I was late because I was trying to show him that I care about what he says. Aargh. Then he said he is tired of being disappointed. I don't know what he thinking. I don't know if he really wants to give up on our relationship. But I don;t want to talk about it at school. That would just be impractable being as I would inevitably end up crying up a storm. So there is another reason my heart is just hurting so badly.
There is a lil bit of good news though...Farah apparently doesn't hate me after all. She took me aside yesterday for what I thought would be a scolding for something stupid. But no. She told me she is going to give me a list of things that I will need to know in order to get promoted to senior tech. What?! Yeah. She wants me to be able to do everything on the check list. It's awsome because Lucy took the initiative to talk to Farah just before that. She is such a kiss-ass, it makes me sick. I have not been able to stand her lately. But anyway, she went to Farah becuase the store manager, that wretched Ms Kennady, thinks Lucy should be a senior tech. So Lucy was trying to convince Farah that she should be trained and promoted. I overheard their conversation, so that is how I know what was going on. Lucy was trying to pump herself up - "I type the fastest" "I am the best with insurcane issues" blah blah blah. I could tell Farah was like ookay. Then when Farah took me aside, she was talking a lot quieter than she was with Lucy. She basically told me that people were talking shit about me! Those bitches. And then she told me she wanted me to strive for senior tech. Another thing is that Lucy kisses ass and says she'll do something asked of her and doesn't, whereas I mumble and groan and complain, but I get it done, and I get it done the best I can. I think Farah is finally noticing that. So maybe there is a future there. Then when Lucy left she told Ms Kennady she needed to talk to her in the office. Most likely it was to complain that I am thwarting her plans of superiority. Ah, politics in the work place.
Anyway, I think I have spent enough time blabbering. I shall end this for now.
This morning I forced myself out of bed after only three hours of sleep and was trying to get ready in a timely manner. I have been trying really hard to be perfect for Dan and have actually been taking his points into consideration. This led to me hating every outfit I put on. Everything was too snug, too small. So I finally decided to wear my pink plaid pants which I Love and they fit well. But the problem was they needed so mending in certain seems that should not be falling apart. This took about 30 minutes, so instead of leaving for school at 7:30 I left around 8:00. Well I got to school, met Dan and he immediatley started to insult me. "Isn't it kind of pathetic that you can't get anywhere on time?" etc. So we walked in silence. When it came time to depart he said he has lost patience with trying to always say nice things and that he was trying really hard to not call me names. I proceeded to get teary-eyed. I am so confused - I was late because I was trying to show him that I care about what he says. Aargh. Then he said he is tired of being disappointed. I don't know what he thinking. I don't know if he really wants to give up on our relationship. But I don;t want to talk about it at school. That would just be impractable being as I would inevitably end up crying up a storm. So there is another reason my heart is just hurting so badly.
There is a lil bit of good news though...Farah apparently doesn't hate me after all. She took me aside yesterday for what I thought would be a scolding for something stupid. But no. She told me she is going to give me a list of things that I will need to know in order to get promoted to senior tech. What?! Yeah. She wants me to be able to do everything on the check list. It's awsome because Lucy took the initiative to talk to Farah just before that. She is such a kiss-ass, it makes me sick. I have not been able to stand her lately. But anyway, she went to Farah becuase the store manager, that wretched Ms Kennady, thinks Lucy should be a senior tech. So Lucy was trying to convince Farah that she should be trained and promoted. I overheard their conversation, so that is how I know what was going on. Lucy was trying to pump herself up - "I type the fastest" "I am the best with insurcane issues" blah blah blah. I could tell Farah was like ookay. Then when Farah took me aside, she was talking a lot quieter than she was with Lucy. She basically told me that people were talking shit about me! Those bitches. And then she told me she wanted me to strive for senior tech. Another thing is that Lucy kisses ass and says she'll do something asked of her and doesn't, whereas I mumble and groan and complain, but I get it done, and I get it done the best I can. I think Farah is finally noticing that. So maybe there is a future there. Then when Lucy left she told Ms Kennady she needed to talk to her in the office. Most likely it was to complain that I am thwarting her plans of superiority. Ah, politics in the work place.
Anyway, I think I have spent enough time blabbering. I shall end this for now.