(no subject)
So, I have come to the conclusion that I must tell my parents. But how do you break that kind of issue when it's been bottled up for so long? And I don't want to talk about it, I just want them to know. I want them to know why I could be around Emily for the first year of her life. I need them to know why I resent Amanda so much and why I want nothing to do with her or her baby. She is due next week and everyone is so excited. How can they be when they all know how stupid and dysfunctional a family this poor baby is being born into. A mother who chainsmoked her entire pregnancy. God knows what else she has done. I hate that my grandma could have met hr first great grandchild, but I was smart enough not to ruin another life. I hate that my loser sister is going to have a family and I have nothing. I need to write my parents a letter cuz I can't keep this inside anymore, and it's not fair that every time I break down about it Dan has to be the one to comfort me. I hate that certain people told everyone behind my back. I hate that people I thought were my friends could tell the whole world and my own family didn't know. God. I am done.