(no subject)

[porcelaindreamz]

I just got back from the hospital seeing Grandpop. I had called my mom today from work and she said he wasn't doing too well, so i was worried all day that he wouldn't make it till my visit. Thankfully, he did wait for me. He still didn't get a real hospital room, but at least he had a private room in the ER. It was sad to see him all frail and wrapped in hospital blankets in the bed. My grandpop had always been a big man, even after losing a lot of weight a few years ago-he's still really tall, so it was especially sad to see him look so..small. he woke up when i got there and mom told him who i was and stuff (his memory's already been going). of course he knew who i was. i talked about my job and stuff and he smiled and winked at me. mom said we almost lost him around 1 last night, his buzzer had went off, and they didn't even think he'd make it thru the morning. i'm glad i got to see him, even if it was only for under an hour (i had to get back so grandmom wouldn't be by herself after Lupe left). it was dinner time and he ate a little, so that was nice. i went to get mom a soda, and when i came back, it was time i had to get going. i didn't want to leave yet, not while the nurse was in there checking his IV. so i stayed a few minutes more, patted him on the head and gave him a kiss on the cheek. (lol mom told me to, i knew he got a kick out of it). i was like "you're growing a beard! hah", "first time in my life" he said. i put my coat on and gave my mom a hug and touched his hand. he kept his eyes open and looked at me the whole time. i could see in his eyes that he knew it was going to be the last time he would see me as my grandpop. i knew that it was the last time i'd see him, unless he gets all stubborn and hangs on for a bit. i cried when i walked out of the hospital. i'm going to miss him. i'm glad i have many fond memories. i hope my mom and grandmom will be ok.
well i was gonna go out tommorow night, but my friends from work asked me if i wanted to hang out tonight so i'm gonna do that instead. thankfully mom's cool with staying with grandmom tonight instead of tommorow night. i had a feeling i was going to have to stay in tommorow night anyway- so might as well hang out with my friends tonight, cuz i have no idea when i'll be able to do it again. i'm kinda going nuts being stuck home and lonely and i really need to just chill with my friends for one night. im going to get some good beer and go smoke some greens fo' st pattys day lol. now.. i need to eat something substantial, i havent really had a real meal yet today.