Fic: Space Mansion - Pepper/Tony (PG)
Title: Space Mansion
Fandom: MCU
Rating: PG-13
Character/Pairing: Tony/Pepper
Spoilers: Iron Man 3
Warnings: None really
Summary: Tony has an idea.
Notes: Based on the fact that my wife watched a video reviewing an awful 80s cartoon called Goldie Gold and Action Jack and then we had a conversation and then I wrote this. Cause who else would want to build a Space Mansion. Not quite sure it’s what she wanted. Also inspired by this Avengers Text From Last Night. Set Post Iron Man 3. 1626 words.
“Welcome home, Ms Potts.”
Pepper smiles to the empty room as she walks in, glancing around for Tony - or signs of Tony.
“Mr Stark is in his workshop.”
She frowns.
Jarvis is emotionless, he cannot convey anxiety or happiness or sadness through his voice but Pepper has learnt that the speed at which he speaks means something. It’s subtle, and it’s taken her years to recognise each emotion but generally the faster he speaks, the worse he feels. At least, the worse he thinks he should feel based on a few billion lines of code and over a hundred thousand hours of observation of Tony, herself and whoever else is under his view at any given time.
Right now, Tony is getting into trouble. Nothing serious, he’s not in danger, but it’s not good.
“How long has he been down there?”
“Forty-eight hours.”
The entire time she’s been in DC, she wonders why she only had text messages from him - dirty ones granted - but he usually calls. Even when she says she’s busy with Senators.
Or the President.
She drops her purse and her jacket on the sofa, and heads back into the elevator.
The workshop is a mess.
Tony pops up from behind a workbench above which is a blue framework of a building, a screw driver behind his ear. His eyes are wide and this is what Pepper calls his ‘science high‘ though there are are a couple of empty bottles of vodka and a lot of discarded cans of red bull on the floor, and the coffee grinds are piled up beneath the espresso machine and spilling over onto the tiles.
There’s holographic balls of scrunched up paper on the floor. He says he misses the mess he used to make, that it was symbolic of the amount of work he’s put in and the ideas he’s had already. Pepper just think he likes the mess and by the glowing blue on the floor, it’s been a hell of a 48 hours.
At least she can walk right through them, heading towards him as he adds something minute to the to the intricate model he’s created. It looks like a mansion when she looks more closely at it. A mansion with rockets under it.
“Hey honey, welcome back. How was DC?”
The words aren’t rushed together like she expected, he’s flagging a little she figures. There are the usual questions to be asked - when did he last sleep, eat, bathe but he starts talking again and the answers are immediately obvious.
Before she left for DC.
“You’ve been drinking?”
“I had to have something to put in the Red Bull,” he says, smiling at her. Pepper frowns. That probably made sense to him about 12 hours ago. “I have something to show you.”
“I thought we were staying in New York,” she says, trying not to metaphorically trip over paper that isn’t there as he pulls her towards the model of the mansion. She falls onto him and only just manages to keep them both upright.
“Show me tomorrow,” she says, “when you’ve slept and you’re sober.”
“I am sober,” he says defiant and smiling. She sort of believes him, but he’s still in the middle of his ‘science high’ and full of stimulants and vodka.
“Come on Tony, bed.”
She pulls at him, knocking the model so that it spins, blurring briefly until it stopped still and she could see the entire thing.
“I designed us a space mansion!” he says with that wild grin she both loved and hated.
“A space mansion?” she asks again and he nods emphatically, eyes slightly out of focus and she sighs.
She has to wonder when the hell this was a good idea.
She grabs his arm and starts to pull him from the workshop but even out of it Tony is stronger that Pepper and she wishes he’d left the extremis in her because she could do with the extra strength right now.
Or Happy.
“If you don’t come willingly I’ll have your super friends come up here and move you by force.”
“Don’t call them super friends, that’s lame.”
“Didn’t they have a space station for a base though?”
“No, they had the Hall of Justice, duh, and the space mansion is just for us.”
“You want us to live in space?” she cries, “I can’t live in space, I’m the CEO of your company!”
“Our company, and you can teleconference.”
“Everyday for every meeting? Tony I need to sign things, I need - I just spent two days in DC because I can’t teleconference.”
“You can fax things.”
“Fax?!”
“They’re coming back,” he insists and she needs to get him into bed.
“Tony, I know for a fact both Steve and Natasha can both can pick you up. They’re probably in the building, I’m not above calling them.”
He frowns spinning his model one last time and she could see the shift as he gives in.
“Fine,” he pouts, “but tomorrow we are discussing this.”
She knows how that discussion is going to go, but she agrees anyway urging him out of the workshop and into the elevator.
x
Tony wakes up around one am, eats the pizza he’d ordered the night before and forgotten before getting back into bed and sleeping until midday. Pepper lets him, he hadn’t been moaning much sense when she’d come him, he won’t be making much sense until everything is out of his system. She knows that from the past fifteen years she’s known him.
Hopefully it includes the insane Space Mansion idea, she thinks to herself, tidying up his workshop.
“Space mansion,” she mutters to herself, “where the hell did he get that from?”
“Mr Stark has expanded his You Tube viewing beyond clips of the L Word and heavy metal music videos, Ms Potts,” Jarvis says.
“Then what has he been watching?”
“Reviews of bad 80s cartoons among other things,” Tony says, wrapping his arms around her. “It’s where I got the idea for a space mansion.”
“We can’t live in a space mansion Tony,” Pepper says, dropping the last discarded can of Red Bull into a trash bag.
“We can, it’s amazing.”
With a few motions in the air he brought the projection of the mansion back up for her to see.
And ignore.
Except it’s impressive, nothing like the Malibu compound and more old fashioned looking than she would’ve guessed he’d design given the sleek look he tended to prefer . Though the rockets or whatever he’d added to the bottom gave it an interesting look. She would much prefer a mansion like this on Earth, someone quiet, in New England but she likes New York, she’s settled in and she sure as hell isn’t living in space.
“I think I’ve gotten most of the kinks worked out, though I’m not sure about the gravity. Hard to test. I would actually have to - “
“Tony, stop, you are not going back to space.”
“This is different.”
“What about your PTSD?”
“Better.”
“Liar,” she huffs, tying up the trash bag and dropping it by the door.
“Okay, somewhat better, but I figure it’ll be like aversion therapy.”
She sighs, she wishes he would just have normal therapy like everyone else on the planet.
“I was hoping you weren’t serious about this,” she says.
She really should’ve known better. It’s been a long fifteen years sometimes.
“I am deadly serious.”
Very long.
“No, Tony, I am not living in space and neither are you,” she says, hands on hips hoping it would make a difference. It’s hit and miss sometimes.
“We could have space sex.”
“We could have normal sex,” she counters. Tony grins at her and she frowns. “Not right now.”
“Well, I do have a rocket for you.”
He waggles his eyebrows at her and she chuckles. The worse the line is the funnier she finds it. Except then he digs a toy rocket from under his desk and displays it for her. One the side, in Sharpie, he’s written Potts.
“Oh God,” she groans, “What is that?”
“Well, the holo-system futzed out on - what day is it?”
“Thursday.”
“Hm, well, anyway, I had to improvise.”
“Tony.”
She’s not sure she wants to find out exactly where he got this space mansion idea from or not. She’s pretty sure she’s going to be horrified either way. Mostly she just wants it to go away. Or she wants him to go away. She’s not sure which at the moment.
“How do I put a stop to this idea?” she asks him and he pouts, then makes the rocket fly like he’s a kid. “Without using sex,” she adds, because he’s definitely not a kid, and his mind pretty much goes straight there whenever she says that. Or says anything. Or breathes apparently. He has a problem, but then, he has a lot of problems and most are more pressing than his sex drive.
He laughs then, making the Potts rocket crash.
“I see no way out of this Pep.”
She was screwed.
“I’m going to end up living in space aren’t I?” she groans.
“How ’bout we use it for a holiday home?” Tony concedes, something he’s been doing more and more recently. It scares her a little, but then at least she doesn’t have to live in space. He kisses her on the cheek and she relaxes a little. “We can let the super friends use it too.”
“I thought they were lame.”
“They are. Especially Cap.”
“Remember our ‘super friends’ can cause you bodily harm. Natasha and I can hide bodies.”
“I know, it’s really hot.”
“You’re really weird Tony.”
“I love you too Pep.”