(no subject)
a year ago today, shane and i broke up. it seems like it's been a hell of a lot longer than that. our "friendship" since then has been very confusing and difficult. i won't lie. there have been a few times that i wanted nothing more than to be with him again. i never let myself though. i know i would never be happy with him. we were meant to be friends. hopefully, one day, we can be just that and not have these grudges against each other. pure friends, amazing friends. that's what i want. he'll never leave my head and my heart and my life, even if we stop talking. that's what happens when you fall in love with someone, no matter how huge of a raging asshole they may be. :)
anyway. so my fourth of july was obviously a shit ton better than last year.
conner's first july 4th.
uncle jay
aunt erin
mama and baby
josh (conner's dad) and jay
my drunken habit, again, haha
my friends josh and drew (holding the shirt) in the parade
fireworks @ the memorial
somedays, i feel great. good friends, good job, in a good house. other days, i feel extremely alone. and i hate those mixed feelings. it's hard to see straight sometimes, trying to worry about what the hell i'm gonna do with the rest of my life. looking into the future isn't something i do that much anymore. i want to go back to school eventually and things like that, but i've found that just going with the flow works a little bit better.
anyway. so my fourth of july was obviously a shit ton better than last year.
conner's first july 4th.
uncle jay
aunt erin
mama and baby
josh (conner's dad) and jay
my drunken habit, again, haha
my friends josh and drew (holding the shirt) in the parade
fireworks @ the memorial
somedays, i feel great. good friends, good job, in a good house. other days, i feel extremely alone. and i hate those mixed feelings. it's hard to see straight sometimes, trying to worry about what the hell i'm gonna do with the rest of my life. looking into the future isn't something i do that much anymore. i want to go back to school eventually and things like that, but i've found that just going with the flow works a little bit better.