I wish I'd been shy and not just ugly and stupid
I need to get this out there so I can stop doing this with people...
I have had lots of opportunities lately in the girl department, however it all feels dull. Though...I always see this one person and I am not talking everyday or even every month, but maybe in a span of a year or many months. Like always, I get myself worked up over having to see their presence and not because I necessarily like them, but because I always end up writing really good material after I see them. I woke up this morning and realized that I had not been able to write for a while, but sure enough after seeing this person earlier in the night I just began again. This should all probably scare the hell out of me because I don't even have to talk with them for inspiration to happen. Though I do find some dark comical nature out of the situation in that I have always come off seeming awkward, creepy, and just plain wrong when they see me. If I was ever myself and we actually became friendly I would no longer have a flame to keep burning my hands on and ultimately nothing to write about.
At the same time I do feel bad, I would like to know this person on a friendly and amicable level. Not just because that might help me more...but because I do have something to offer. I don't quite know what this means, but according to the recent forecasts, I think it means I need to grow up and stop denying that people exist and are there for only my own benefit.
Next time I see you I will not apologize... I will just be myself.
I have had lots of opportunities lately in the girl department, however it all feels dull. Though...I always see this one person and I am not talking everyday or even every month, but maybe in a span of a year or many months. Like always, I get myself worked up over having to see their presence and not because I necessarily like them, but because I always end up writing really good material after I see them. I woke up this morning and realized that I had not been able to write for a while, but sure enough after seeing this person earlier in the night I just began again. This should all probably scare the hell out of me because I don't even have to talk with them for inspiration to happen. Though I do find some dark comical nature out of the situation in that I have always come off seeming awkward, creepy, and just plain wrong when they see me. If I was ever myself and we actually became friendly I would no longer have a flame to keep burning my hands on and ultimately nothing to write about.
At the same time I do feel bad, I would like to know this person on a friendly and amicable level. Not just because that might help me more...but because I do have something to offer. I don't quite know what this means, but according to the recent forecasts, I think it means I need to grow up and stop denying that people exist and are there for only my own benefit.
Next time I see you I will not apologize... I will just be myself.