The Truth about Tippy Typewriter (10/14)
Title: The Truth about Tippy Typewriter Part Ten
Rating: NC-17 eventually
Couple: Sam/Brooke eventually
Summary: Brooke stumbles across Sam's secret journal
Disclaimer: I don't own them, but I certainly wish I did. Damn Ryan
Murphy and his unrivaled genius.
A/N: I live for feedback, and all is welcomed and appreciated. I have to say a huge "Thank You" to my beta, Karen. She puts up with my crazy schedule and really inane questions. She's really kick ass, and I love working with her. So thanks Karen! This update was actually done with no prompting from, metalphoenix, at all. I'm proud of myself. She normally hassles me until I get it done, but not today! Anyway, on with the story.
Part Ten
Sam could hear the whispers behind her as she walked into school on Monday morning. Even given her status as Brooke’s new best friend, she still walked down the hall relatively unnoticed by most of Kennedy High’s general population. This was surreal. She walked up to her locker, trying to ignore the stares as she entered her combination. She pulled out the books for her first class and grabbed her notebook. She turned to her left, and caught a 9th grade girl looking at her intently, but when their eyes met, the redhead quickly adverted her eyes.
“Hey Sammy,” Harrison said, coming up to her locker.
“Okay, tell me it’s not just me,” she replied.
“What’s not just you?” Harrison asked in confusion.
“The staring, the whispering, people are talking about me.” Sam answered in a panicked whisper.
Harrison took a good look around before turning back to Sam with a confused look. “Okay, maybe a few people are taking more of an interest in you this morning than is per usual, but then again, you are having a good hair day,” he said, flicking her ponytail.
Sam ducked his hand and playfully slapped his arm. “Will you quit it? I’m being serious.”
“I know, but I think you’re paranoid. If anything, I’d be a little worried that there are more people reading the good ole’ Zapruder than normal.”
“Maybe it’s my article on Lily’s protest of the school’s new spa in the teachers’ lounge. I got a really good feeling about it when I sent it down to the printer’s on Friday!” Sam said excitedly as she shut her locker and they walked towards Harrison’s locker.
“Hey Sam,” Lily called from behind her.
“Hey,” Sam greeted her shorter friend.
“Have you given any thought to what we talked about last night?” Lily asked in a serious tone.
Sam had to bite back a groan. Lily had cornered her Friday morning and told her she’d rethought the whole Brooke situation. She told Sam she thought that maybe Sam needed to be the bigger person, and at least try to listen to what Brooke had to say. Sam had been completely shocked by the about face. She wasn’t sure how to take it. What had gotten into Lily that she would just turn on Sam like that? Whatever it was had gotten to Carmen as well, and the two of them had dogged her every step over the past weekend.
“I’ve thought about it, but that doesn’t mean I agree with you. Brooke totally betrayed my trust, and that’s unforgivable!” Sam replied adamantly.
“Okay, I’m with you on that, but I just want to ask you something. What did she do with the information after she read it? Did she taunt you, or use it to destroy your reputation?”
“Well no,” Sam begrudgingly admitted. She already didn’t like where this was going.
“Well I’m sure she had a good reason for reading it. What did she say when you asked her?” Lily asked.
Sam looked away as her cheeks flushed. “I, um, Ididntaskher…” she mumbled under her breath.
“What did you say?” Lily asked.
“I said I didn’t ask her, okay? She told me she read my journal. I asked her how long she’d been reading it. She said about six months, and I left the room. I didn’t ask her why she did it. I was too angry.” Sam grumbled.
“Oh Sammy, you didn’t even give her a chance to explain? How is that fair?” Harrison asked, throwing books into his bag.
“Since when do you know about this?” Sam asked suspiciously.
“I, uh, ran into Brooke after school on Thursday. She sort of spilled out the whole story. She was pretty upset,” he replied.
“Oh, that’s just fantastic. I’m sure she probably made herself come out looking like the victim.” Sam said sarcastically.
“Actually, she sides with you.”
That took the wind right out of her sails, and she’d been working up a good dose of indignation to go with her last comment. “Well, that still doesn’t excuse what she did.” Sam huffed.
“No, but how is this different than say, you breaking into the doctor’s office and stealing my confidential files?” Harrison asked, shutting the door on his locker.
“This is totally different! I was worried about you. I thought you had a drug problem.” Sam answered haughtily.
“Right, and I was pretty pissed because I felt like you’d invaded my privacy, which you had. But then I actually listened to what you had to say, and I saw that your heart was in the right place. So I forgave you.” Harrison said, leaning against the row of lockers.
“All we’re saying is maybe you should at least hear Brooke out.” Lily added cautiously.
Why did they have to be so rational? Whose side were they on anyway? Sam thought as she pushed away from the wall she’d been leaning against. “Yeah? Well who asked you anyway?” She grumbled before walking away.
_______________________________________________________________________
The rest of the morning, Sam’s thoughts were filled with her friends’ words. Were they right? Had she been too harsh on Brooke? A part of her wondered if she was angry just because she thought she should be. She was so confused, and it didn’t help that more people were staring at her and whispering. She knew she wasn’t being paranoid. People that hadn’t given her a second glance in the four years they’d been in high school now stared at her openly. Why was her life always so complicated?
She hazarded a glance at Brooke for the first time that day. They hadn’t seen much of each other over the weekend. The blonde had been mysteriously out of the house most of the time. So even if Sam had wanted to talk to her, she wouldn’t have been able to. When she’d woken up that morning, Brooke had been long gone, and she hadn’t seen the blonde until this class. Brooke looked different somehow. She was still as breathtaking as ever, but something had changed. Something wasn’t quite right. Sam felt like she was looking at her through the fuzzy lens on one of those eye doctors’ tests. Then hazel eyes caught hers, and she knew what it was. Brooke’s eyes, her whole demeanor, held this great sadness that was reminiscent of an R.E.M song. It was enough to make Sam immediately turn away.
Maybe her friends were right. Brooke hadn’t really done anything with the information she’d gained from her secret journal. So she had to have a good reason for reading it. Sam just needed to give her a reason to explain, and if her reason wasn’t a good one, then she’d start shopping for a new best friend.
_______________________________________________________________________
“Sam! Sam!” someone called from behind her as she made her way down the hall.
She turned and saw Josh Ford sprinting over to her. She stopped and waited for his approach, wondering what he could possibly want with her. They’d never really been friends, and that hadn’t changed even with the advent of his marriage to Lily.
“What’s up, Josh?” She asked once he was standing in front of her.
“I was just wondering if I could borrow your notes from Global Studies. You’re the only one I know that gets what the teacher’s saying in that class, and everyone tells me you take really detailed notes.” Josh replied.
“Oh sure, just, um, follow me to my locker,” Sam said leading the way down the hall. She quickly put the combination in and opened the door.
“So that letter in the school paper was pretty intense, huh?” Josh said casually as he waited for the notes.
“I’m sorry?” Sam asked over her shoulder.
“That letter from Brooke in the Zapruder.” Josh said, like she should completely understand what he was talking about.
“What letter from Brooke? Brooke didn’t write a letter in the paper,” Sam said whipping around to face Josh.
“Sure she did. She wrote a ‘letter to the editor’ type of thing.” Josh replied. “I thought you’d read it, you know since it was about you.”
“No, I haven’t read any letter about me in the paper,” Sam said slamming the locker as she walked around the corner where the Zapruder Reporters were normally located.
“Hey what about the notes?” She heard Josh call after her.
“I’ll get them to you in the cafeteria,” she called back over her shoulder.
There were barely any papers left, but Sam grabbed one that had been crumpled in a stampede of students and immediately flipped to the letters to the editor section of the Zapruder. Sure enough, there was Brooke’s letter to her.
“This may come as a surprise to some of you, and not such a big surprise to others, but I, Brooke McQueen, have not always been the best friend to the people I hold near and dear to me. I’d like to say that most of these indiscretions were simple mistakes, but sadly that would be a lie. You see, it’s really easy to get caught up in our own lives, our own misery, and completely disregard those around us. Unfortunately, this sometimes means we neglect our friends, or we make decisions that are more harmful to our friendships than we ever imagined possible. I’m especially guilty of this. There’s this friend I have, and really, when I think about it, she’s always been there for me during even the most traumatic moments of my life. She’s pretty much been the only true friend I’ve ever had, and yet, I didn’t appreciate her. I did something to her that is utterly unforgivable. I destroyed something that I didn’t realize was the best gift I’d ever received until I threw it all away with careless actions, and I don’t know how to get it back. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get it back, and if that is to be, then I have no one to blame but myself. I just wanted to let her to know one thing; there was never any malicious intent on my part. I had my reasons for doing the things I did, and since I don’t want to go into gory details in this very public paper, I will say if you ever want to know those reasons, all you have to do is ask. I know this doesn’t excuse what I did, but I think it needs to be said one more time. I’m sorry, Samantha McPherson. I hope one day you will be able to forgive me.”
Brooke McQueen
Sam’s eyes misted over as she read the words for a second time. She’d never expected anything like this. Brooke’s words were so honest and real, laid out in black and white for the whole Kennedy population to see. Hope, fear, joy and frustration filled her. She needed to find Brooke, wrap her arms around her and let her know everything would be okay. She walked down the hall to the cafeteria, the paper held firmly in her hand. She was disappointed that Brooke was nowhere in sight, but she saw her friends sitting at their table and made her way over to them.
“Hey guys has anyone seen Brooke?” Sam asked casually, sitting down next to Carmen. Three grins formed on three eager faces as they looked at one another. She sighed. She hated when they were right. They never let her live it down. “What?”
“Nothing,” Carmen answered, though her smile never faltered.
“I take it you’ve decided to take my advice.” Lily added with a smug grin.
“ I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sam replied, trying to sound nonchalant.
“Sammy, you’re really bad at lying.” Harrison said, amused.
“Okay, so I’m a bad liar.” Sam agreed. “Maybe I’m not totally adverse to the idea of listening to what she has to say.”
“And, uh, did you reach this decision on your own or does it have anything to with that little letter in the paper?” Lily asked, taking a drink from her juice box.
“Let me guess. You three were all in on it,” Sam said in an accusing tone.
“We don’t know what you’re talking about. We just think it’s romantic,” Carmen replied excitedly.
“Oh spare me,” Sam said with a sigh.
“So what are you going to do now, Sam?” Lily asked.
“I’m not sure. I don’t really have a plan. I just want to find Brooke, and then I think I’ll wing it.”
“And then hopefully you two will kiss and make up, because I gotta say, Mary Cherry and I miss having to another couple to do couple things with.”
“Hey! What about me and Josh?” Lily huffed.
“Lil, I love ya, but there’s nothing romantic about a protest, and the last time Mary Cherry ended up joining the other side’s counter protest.”
“Yeah, well what do you expect from a fur freak.” Lily mumbled.
“Hey, she’s my fur freak,” Harrison said in mock defense as he threw his roll at Lily.
“HARREESON JOHN!!!!!!!” said a loud voice that caused a sudden hush to blanket the entire room.
Sam saw Harrison swallow hard as he turned towards the voice of his very irate girlfriend. “Harrison, what did you do?” She whispered to him.
He shrugged in confusion as her watched his girlfriend approach. “Hi Lovemuffin,” he said nervously.
“Don’t you ‘Hi, Lovemuffeen” me Harreeson John. Did you make an appointment for me at Dr. Gerald’s for three o’clock?” Mary Cherry asked as she sat down next to him.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot.” Harrison replied looking around at his friends. They all seemed to be taking great interest in their trays, and refused to make direct eye contact.
“Well that’s jus great! Now how am ah supposed keep my young nubile body firm yet teender if ah can’t get an appointment with Dr. Gerald?” Mary Cherry asked her boyfriend.
“I’ll call him as soon as lunch is over.” Harrison quickly amended.
“You’d better, or you will be rubbing crème de la mer on more than my back, Mr. John.”
“Well, there goes my appetite.” Sam muttered. She really wished she could talk to Brooke, but it looked like the cheerleader would be a no show in the lunchroom. It looked like she was going to have to wait to do this at home.
_____________________________________________________________________
Sam made it home in record time, after she fruitlessly searched the school for Brooke at the end of the day. She prayed all the way home that Brooke would be there and smiled when she received her answer in the form of Brooke’s car parked in the driveway. Sam was really nervous about what she was about to do. Everything was up in the air at this point. Her anger was gone and in its place was unbridled happiness. Only her happiness was dampened by uncertainty and a fear that Brooke didn’t feel for her the way she felt for Brooke. She called ‘hello’ as she walked in the house, stopping to kiss Mac on the forehead and chat with her mother a little about mundane school things. She begged off before their conversation got too lengthy, saying she had a lot of homework to do, and headed up the stairs in the direction of her room. She instead walked into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror, willing her fears away. She could do this. Taking a deep breath, she headed to Brooke’s room. She hesitated as she reached her hand up to knock on the door. Finally tamping down on her insecurities she raised her hand again.
Sam knocked on Brooke’s door. “Brooke, can I come in?”
“I guess…” the blonde replied cautiously.
Sam opened the door and walked into the neatly kept room. The cheerleader lay on her bed surrounded by open textbooks, loose-leaf papers and notebooks. She’d changed from the Prada sweater and skirt set into more comfortable yoga pants and a tank top. She was wearing reading glasses and her long blonde hair was pulled up in a ponytail. Sam found the whole scene surprisingly sexy, but there would be time for that later. She shook her head to clear her thoughts.
She walked over and sat next to the blonde, careful not to crumple any of the papers. Awkward silence filled the room, as Sam tried to figure out where to begin. She’d been feeling so confident only minutes ago, but now she was full of uncertainties. What if Brooke didn’t want her anymore? What if she’d waited to long? What if…
“I, um I read your letter,” Sam said quietly.
“Oh,” Brooke replied looking over at the journalist. The look in her eyes was unreadable.
“Yeah, I…you didn’t have to do that.” Sam said nervously.
“I know, but I couldn’t think of any other way to get your attention,” Brooke replied. An awkward silence descended over the room.
“You said if I wanted to know why you did it, all I had to do was ask. So now I’m asking.”
Brooke looked away. “I should have known that would come back to bite me in the ass.”
Sam said nothing; she waited for the blonde to answer.
“Well, I found the journal by accident. The night you came in here and asked to use my computer, you left your email signed in, and I thought it was mine. When I realized it wasn’t my account, I signed out, but by then, I had already read about the secret journal. I was curious as to why you would need one. Then I was surprised and a little hurt that you had this whole other side to your life. A side that you didn’t deem me worthy enough to know. I swear at first I didn’t know you were talking about me. I thought it was someone else at school. I was curious about who it was, which is why I watched you so much in the beginning.” Brooke had an almost amused look on her face, like she couldn’t believe her own naiveté. “The night after we went shopping at the mall, I figured out it was me, and I…I couldn’t handle it, so I pushed you away.” Brooke looked away, ashamed at her behavior. “Then you started dating Mia, and I…I don’t know. I wanted to be happy for you. I really did, but no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t.” Brooke’s voice became husky as tears spilled over her cheeks.
Sam tilted the blonde face towards her and wiped the wetness from her cheeks. Sam noted the shiver that ran through Brooke’s body and smiled. The blonde’s breathing was a little shallow and her throat worked a few times before she spoke.
“I don’t know why I kept reading the journal. It was like I had some morbid need to punish myself. My emotions were crazy. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. It took so long for me to understand what I was feeling, but by then it had been months, and there had been too much damage done. Sam, I’m sorry for every-”
“Shh, I know. I read every letter. I’m sorry too.” Brooke looked up at her in confusion. “I think somewhere along the lines our signals got crossed and when we should have been talking to each other, we were silent. Then when we weren’t silent, we were fighting. We were both wrong, and we’re both sorry. Now, I think it’s time for me to say some things I should have said a long time ago. Brooke, I’m in love with you. I wish there was a way I could pinpoint the day that I fell for you, but the truth is, I can’t remember a day when I didn’t love you. And I know there will never be a day when I don’t. You’re my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night, and if you’ll let me, I want to spend every day making sure you know just how much you mean to me.”
Silent tears streamed down her cheeks. She smiled tenderly at Sam and cupped her cheek in her hand. “That is the most beautiful thing that anyone has ever said to me. I love you too, Sammy. I don’t know why it took me so long to see it, but I do. Please never doubt that. I almost lost you once because I was so blind. That scared me more than you ever will know.” She wiped away the tears Sam wasn’t even aware she was crying. “But I will never let that happen again.” She slid her hand into Sam’s dark hair and guided the other girl’s head down towards her own until their lips met.
Sam pulled back, quickly adjusting so that she was lying on her side in front of Brooke. She stroked the blonde’s cheek before bringing their lips back together. This kiss was gentle, but eager as Sam moved to press her lips more firmly against Brooke’s. She ran her tongue along the seam of Brooke’s mouth, and the blonde’s lips parted slightly allowing her inside. Their tongues slid against each other teasing, dancing, fighting for dominance. The kiss turned heated as hands began to explore and moans and whimpers started coming from deep within the blonde. The need for oxygen drove them apart, but Brooke simply moved down her neck, nipping and sucking, as she made her way to Sam’s collarbone. Sam gasped as the blonde’s hand ran down her side and over her stomach moving back up to rest just under the swell of Sam’s breast.
When Brooke’s hand tentatively cupped her breast, Sam knew she needed to cool things off. She placed her hand on Brooke’s chest and gently pushed her away. Hazel eyes looked up at her in confusion, and she offered the blonde a loving smile.
“That was…wow, but I think we need to back up. I’m not really ready to go any further than this,” Sam said trying to get her breathing under control.
She saw the disappoint flicker across Brooke’s face, but the blonde nodded her head in understanding. “You’re right. So this is new…”
“Yeah, but nice…better than nice. It feels great.”
“Definitely,” Brooke said with a big smile. They sat there grinning at each other like a bunch of loons for a moment. “So…um…so…so does this mean we’re…dating now?”
“We can call it dating. Of course that implies that we’ll actually have to go on dates,” Sam replied jokingly.
Brooke rolled her eyes but smiled. “Well of course we’ll be going on dates. You don’t think that I worked this hard just keep you holed up in the house do you?” The blonde said moving to sit up on her bed. “I intend to show you off. Do all that disgustingly sweet and mushy stuff that other couples do. The stuff you did with Mia.”
Sam sat up, moving next to Brooke. “You know what’s funny is she was always telling me that you had feelings for me, but I didn’t believe her. That night when I kissed her, I think she knew that it was the first and last time. She didn’t say anything, but the look on her face said it all. She didn’t even look surprised.”
“You know, I wish I could say that I wished that you hadn’t ever dated her. But I can’t. If it weren’t for her, I would have never realized my feelings for you. So I guess I owe her a thanks.” Brooke said wrapping her arms around Sam.
They stayed that way for a while, both reveling in the contentment that settled over them. Sam couldn’t remember the last time she felt this happy, and she couldn’t keep the grin off of her face. She wasn’t deluding herself. She knew that they had a long hard road ahead of them, but in this moment, wrapped in Brooke’s arms and listening to the beat of her heart, she knew that things would work out fine as long as they were together.
Rating: NC-17 eventually
Couple: Sam/Brooke eventually
Summary: Brooke stumbles across Sam's secret journal
Disclaimer: I don't own them, but I certainly wish I did. Damn Ryan
Murphy and his unrivaled genius.
A/N: I live for feedback, and all is welcomed and appreciated. I have to say a huge "Thank You" to my beta, Karen. She puts up with my crazy schedule and really inane questions. She's really kick ass, and I love working with her. So thanks Karen! This update was actually done with no prompting from, metalphoenix, at all. I'm proud of myself. She normally hassles me until I get it done, but not today! Anyway, on with the story.
Part Ten
Sam could hear the whispers behind her as she walked into school on Monday morning. Even given her status as Brooke’s new best friend, she still walked down the hall relatively unnoticed by most of Kennedy High’s general population. This was surreal. She walked up to her locker, trying to ignore the stares as she entered her combination. She pulled out the books for her first class and grabbed her notebook. She turned to her left, and caught a 9th grade girl looking at her intently, but when their eyes met, the redhead quickly adverted her eyes.
“Hey Sammy,” Harrison said, coming up to her locker.
“Okay, tell me it’s not just me,” she replied.
“What’s not just you?” Harrison asked in confusion.
“The staring, the whispering, people are talking about me.” Sam answered in a panicked whisper.
Harrison took a good look around before turning back to Sam with a confused look. “Okay, maybe a few people are taking more of an interest in you this morning than is per usual, but then again, you are having a good hair day,” he said, flicking her ponytail.
Sam ducked his hand and playfully slapped his arm. “Will you quit it? I’m being serious.”
“I know, but I think you’re paranoid. If anything, I’d be a little worried that there are more people reading the good ole’ Zapruder than normal.”
“Maybe it’s my article on Lily’s protest of the school’s new spa in the teachers’ lounge. I got a really good feeling about it when I sent it down to the printer’s on Friday!” Sam said excitedly as she shut her locker and they walked towards Harrison’s locker.
“Hey Sam,” Lily called from behind her.
“Hey,” Sam greeted her shorter friend.
“Have you given any thought to what we talked about last night?” Lily asked in a serious tone.
Sam had to bite back a groan. Lily had cornered her Friday morning and told her she’d rethought the whole Brooke situation. She told Sam she thought that maybe Sam needed to be the bigger person, and at least try to listen to what Brooke had to say. Sam had been completely shocked by the about face. She wasn’t sure how to take it. What had gotten into Lily that she would just turn on Sam like that? Whatever it was had gotten to Carmen as well, and the two of them had dogged her every step over the past weekend.
“I’ve thought about it, but that doesn’t mean I agree with you. Brooke totally betrayed my trust, and that’s unforgivable!” Sam replied adamantly.
“Okay, I’m with you on that, but I just want to ask you something. What did she do with the information after she read it? Did she taunt you, or use it to destroy your reputation?”
“Well no,” Sam begrudgingly admitted. She already didn’t like where this was going.
“Well I’m sure she had a good reason for reading it. What did she say when you asked her?” Lily asked.
Sam looked away as her cheeks flushed. “I, um, Ididntaskher…” she mumbled under her breath.
“What did you say?” Lily asked.
“I said I didn’t ask her, okay? She told me she read my journal. I asked her how long she’d been reading it. She said about six months, and I left the room. I didn’t ask her why she did it. I was too angry.” Sam grumbled.
“Oh Sammy, you didn’t even give her a chance to explain? How is that fair?” Harrison asked, throwing books into his bag.
“Since when do you know about this?” Sam asked suspiciously.
“I, uh, ran into Brooke after school on Thursday. She sort of spilled out the whole story. She was pretty upset,” he replied.
“Oh, that’s just fantastic. I’m sure she probably made herself come out looking like the victim.” Sam said sarcastically.
“Actually, she sides with you.”
That took the wind right out of her sails, and she’d been working up a good dose of indignation to go with her last comment. “Well, that still doesn’t excuse what she did.” Sam huffed.
“No, but how is this different than say, you breaking into the doctor’s office and stealing my confidential files?” Harrison asked, shutting the door on his locker.
“This is totally different! I was worried about you. I thought you had a drug problem.” Sam answered haughtily.
“Right, and I was pretty pissed because I felt like you’d invaded my privacy, which you had. But then I actually listened to what you had to say, and I saw that your heart was in the right place. So I forgave you.” Harrison said, leaning against the row of lockers.
“All we’re saying is maybe you should at least hear Brooke out.” Lily added cautiously.
Why did they have to be so rational? Whose side were they on anyway? Sam thought as she pushed away from the wall she’d been leaning against. “Yeah? Well who asked you anyway?” She grumbled before walking away.
_______________________________________________________________________
The rest of the morning, Sam’s thoughts were filled with her friends’ words. Were they right? Had she been too harsh on Brooke? A part of her wondered if she was angry just because she thought she should be. She was so confused, and it didn’t help that more people were staring at her and whispering. She knew she wasn’t being paranoid. People that hadn’t given her a second glance in the four years they’d been in high school now stared at her openly. Why was her life always so complicated?
She hazarded a glance at Brooke for the first time that day. They hadn’t seen much of each other over the weekend. The blonde had been mysteriously out of the house most of the time. So even if Sam had wanted to talk to her, she wouldn’t have been able to. When she’d woken up that morning, Brooke had been long gone, and she hadn’t seen the blonde until this class. Brooke looked different somehow. She was still as breathtaking as ever, but something had changed. Something wasn’t quite right. Sam felt like she was looking at her through the fuzzy lens on one of those eye doctors’ tests. Then hazel eyes caught hers, and she knew what it was. Brooke’s eyes, her whole demeanor, held this great sadness that was reminiscent of an R.E.M song. It was enough to make Sam immediately turn away.
Maybe her friends were right. Brooke hadn’t really done anything with the information she’d gained from her secret journal. So she had to have a good reason for reading it. Sam just needed to give her a reason to explain, and if her reason wasn’t a good one, then she’d start shopping for a new best friend.
_______________________________________________________________________
“Sam! Sam!” someone called from behind her as she made her way down the hall.
She turned and saw Josh Ford sprinting over to her. She stopped and waited for his approach, wondering what he could possibly want with her. They’d never really been friends, and that hadn’t changed even with the advent of his marriage to Lily.
“What’s up, Josh?” She asked once he was standing in front of her.
“I was just wondering if I could borrow your notes from Global Studies. You’re the only one I know that gets what the teacher’s saying in that class, and everyone tells me you take really detailed notes.” Josh replied.
“Oh sure, just, um, follow me to my locker,” Sam said leading the way down the hall. She quickly put the combination in and opened the door.
“So that letter in the school paper was pretty intense, huh?” Josh said casually as he waited for the notes.
“I’m sorry?” Sam asked over her shoulder.
“That letter from Brooke in the Zapruder.” Josh said, like she should completely understand what he was talking about.
“What letter from Brooke? Brooke didn’t write a letter in the paper,” Sam said whipping around to face Josh.
“Sure she did. She wrote a ‘letter to the editor’ type of thing.” Josh replied. “I thought you’d read it, you know since it was about you.”
“No, I haven’t read any letter about me in the paper,” Sam said slamming the locker as she walked around the corner where the Zapruder Reporters were normally located.
“Hey what about the notes?” She heard Josh call after her.
“I’ll get them to you in the cafeteria,” she called back over her shoulder.
There were barely any papers left, but Sam grabbed one that had been crumpled in a stampede of students and immediately flipped to the letters to the editor section of the Zapruder. Sure enough, there was Brooke’s letter to her.
“This may come as a surprise to some of you, and not such a big surprise to others, but I, Brooke McQueen, have not always been the best friend to the people I hold near and dear to me. I’d like to say that most of these indiscretions were simple mistakes, but sadly that would be a lie. You see, it’s really easy to get caught up in our own lives, our own misery, and completely disregard those around us. Unfortunately, this sometimes means we neglect our friends, or we make decisions that are more harmful to our friendships than we ever imagined possible. I’m especially guilty of this. There’s this friend I have, and really, when I think about it, she’s always been there for me during even the most traumatic moments of my life. She’s pretty much been the only true friend I’ve ever had, and yet, I didn’t appreciate her. I did something to her that is utterly unforgivable. I destroyed something that I didn’t realize was the best gift I’d ever received until I threw it all away with careless actions, and I don’t know how to get it back. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get it back, and if that is to be, then I have no one to blame but myself. I just wanted to let her to know one thing; there was never any malicious intent on my part. I had my reasons for doing the things I did, and since I don’t want to go into gory details in this very public paper, I will say if you ever want to know those reasons, all you have to do is ask. I know this doesn’t excuse what I did, but I think it needs to be said one more time. I’m sorry, Samantha McPherson. I hope one day you will be able to forgive me.”
Brooke McQueen
Sam’s eyes misted over as she read the words for a second time. She’d never expected anything like this. Brooke’s words were so honest and real, laid out in black and white for the whole Kennedy population to see. Hope, fear, joy and frustration filled her. She needed to find Brooke, wrap her arms around her and let her know everything would be okay. She walked down the hall to the cafeteria, the paper held firmly in her hand. She was disappointed that Brooke was nowhere in sight, but she saw her friends sitting at their table and made her way over to them.
“Hey guys has anyone seen Brooke?” Sam asked casually, sitting down next to Carmen. Three grins formed on three eager faces as they looked at one another. She sighed. She hated when they were right. They never let her live it down. “What?”
“Nothing,” Carmen answered, though her smile never faltered.
“I take it you’ve decided to take my advice.” Lily added with a smug grin.
“ I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sam replied, trying to sound nonchalant.
“Sammy, you’re really bad at lying.” Harrison said, amused.
“Okay, so I’m a bad liar.” Sam agreed. “Maybe I’m not totally adverse to the idea of listening to what she has to say.”
“And, uh, did you reach this decision on your own or does it have anything to with that little letter in the paper?” Lily asked, taking a drink from her juice box.
“Let me guess. You three were all in on it,” Sam said in an accusing tone.
“We don’t know what you’re talking about. We just think it’s romantic,” Carmen replied excitedly.
“Oh spare me,” Sam said with a sigh.
“So what are you going to do now, Sam?” Lily asked.
“I’m not sure. I don’t really have a plan. I just want to find Brooke, and then I think I’ll wing it.”
“And then hopefully you two will kiss and make up, because I gotta say, Mary Cherry and I miss having to another couple to do couple things with.”
“Hey! What about me and Josh?” Lily huffed.
“Lil, I love ya, but there’s nothing romantic about a protest, and the last time Mary Cherry ended up joining the other side’s counter protest.”
“Yeah, well what do you expect from a fur freak.” Lily mumbled.
“Hey, she’s my fur freak,” Harrison said in mock defense as he threw his roll at Lily.
“HARREESON JOHN!!!!!!!” said a loud voice that caused a sudden hush to blanket the entire room.
Sam saw Harrison swallow hard as he turned towards the voice of his very irate girlfriend. “Harrison, what did you do?” She whispered to him.
He shrugged in confusion as her watched his girlfriend approach. “Hi Lovemuffin,” he said nervously.
“Don’t you ‘Hi, Lovemuffeen” me Harreeson John. Did you make an appointment for me at Dr. Gerald’s for three o’clock?” Mary Cherry asked as she sat down next to him.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot.” Harrison replied looking around at his friends. They all seemed to be taking great interest in their trays, and refused to make direct eye contact.
“Well that’s jus great! Now how am ah supposed keep my young nubile body firm yet teender if ah can’t get an appointment with Dr. Gerald?” Mary Cherry asked her boyfriend.
“I’ll call him as soon as lunch is over.” Harrison quickly amended.
“You’d better, or you will be rubbing crème de la mer on more than my back, Mr. John.”
“Well, there goes my appetite.” Sam muttered. She really wished she could talk to Brooke, but it looked like the cheerleader would be a no show in the lunchroom. It looked like she was going to have to wait to do this at home.
_____________________________________________________________________
Sam made it home in record time, after she fruitlessly searched the school for Brooke at the end of the day. She prayed all the way home that Brooke would be there and smiled when she received her answer in the form of Brooke’s car parked in the driveway. Sam was really nervous about what she was about to do. Everything was up in the air at this point. Her anger was gone and in its place was unbridled happiness. Only her happiness was dampened by uncertainty and a fear that Brooke didn’t feel for her the way she felt for Brooke. She called ‘hello’ as she walked in the house, stopping to kiss Mac on the forehead and chat with her mother a little about mundane school things. She begged off before their conversation got too lengthy, saying she had a lot of homework to do, and headed up the stairs in the direction of her room. She instead walked into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror, willing her fears away. She could do this. Taking a deep breath, she headed to Brooke’s room. She hesitated as she reached her hand up to knock on the door. Finally tamping down on her insecurities she raised her hand again.
Sam knocked on Brooke’s door. “Brooke, can I come in?”
“I guess…” the blonde replied cautiously.
Sam opened the door and walked into the neatly kept room. The cheerleader lay on her bed surrounded by open textbooks, loose-leaf papers and notebooks. She’d changed from the Prada sweater and skirt set into more comfortable yoga pants and a tank top. She was wearing reading glasses and her long blonde hair was pulled up in a ponytail. Sam found the whole scene surprisingly sexy, but there would be time for that later. She shook her head to clear her thoughts.
She walked over and sat next to the blonde, careful not to crumple any of the papers. Awkward silence filled the room, as Sam tried to figure out where to begin. She’d been feeling so confident only minutes ago, but now she was full of uncertainties. What if Brooke didn’t want her anymore? What if she’d waited to long? What if…
“I, um I read your letter,” Sam said quietly.
“Oh,” Brooke replied looking over at the journalist. The look in her eyes was unreadable.
“Yeah, I…you didn’t have to do that.” Sam said nervously.
“I know, but I couldn’t think of any other way to get your attention,” Brooke replied. An awkward silence descended over the room.
“You said if I wanted to know why you did it, all I had to do was ask. So now I’m asking.”
Brooke looked away. “I should have known that would come back to bite me in the ass.”
Sam said nothing; she waited for the blonde to answer.
“Well, I found the journal by accident. The night you came in here and asked to use my computer, you left your email signed in, and I thought it was mine. When I realized it wasn’t my account, I signed out, but by then, I had already read about the secret journal. I was curious as to why you would need one. Then I was surprised and a little hurt that you had this whole other side to your life. A side that you didn’t deem me worthy enough to know. I swear at first I didn’t know you were talking about me. I thought it was someone else at school. I was curious about who it was, which is why I watched you so much in the beginning.” Brooke had an almost amused look on her face, like she couldn’t believe her own naiveté. “The night after we went shopping at the mall, I figured out it was me, and I…I couldn’t handle it, so I pushed you away.” Brooke looked away, ashamed at her behavior. “Then you started dating Mia, and I…I don’t know. I wanted to be happy for you. I really did, but no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t.” Brooke’s voice became husky as tears spilled over her cheeks.
Sam tilted the blonde face towards her and wiped the wetness from her cheeks. Sam noted the shiver that ran through Brooke’s body and smiled. The blonde’s breathing was a little shallow and her throat worked a few times before she spoke.
“I don’t know why I kept reading the journal. It was like I had some morbid need to punish myself. My emotions were crazy. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. It took so long for me to understand what I was feeling, but by then it had been months, and there had been too much damage done. Sam, I’m sorry for every-”
“Shh, I know. I read every letter. I’m sorry too.” Brooke looked up at her in confusion. “I think somewhere along the lines our signals got crossed and when we should have been talking to each other, we were silent. Then when we weren’t silent, we were fighting. We were both wrong, and we’re both sorry. Now, I think it’s time for me to say some things I should have said a long time ago. Brooke, I’m in love with you. I wish there was a way I could pinpoint the day that I fell for you, but the truth is, I can’t remember a day when I didn’t love you. And I know there will never be a day when I don’t. You’re my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night, and if you’ll let me, I want to spend every day making sure you know just how much you mean to me.”
Silent tears streamed down her cheeks. She smiled tenderly at Sam and cupped her cheek in her hand. “That is the most beautiful thing that anyone has ever said to me. I love you too, Sammy. I don’t know why it took me so long to see it, but I do. Please never doubt that. I almost lost you once because I was so blind. That scared me more than you ever will know.” She wiped away the tears Sam wasn’t even aware she was crying. “But I will never let that happen again.” She slid her hand into Sam’s dark hair and guided the other girl’s head down towards her own until their lips met.
Sam pulled back, quickly adjusting so that she was lying on her side in front of Brooke. She stroked the blonde’s cheek before bringing their lips back together. This kiss was gentle, but eager as Sam moved to press her lips more firmly against Brooke’s. She ran her tongue along the seam of Brooke’s mouth, and the blonde’s lips parted slightly allowing her inside. Their tongues slid against each other teasing, dancing, fighting for dominance. The kiss turned heated as hands began to explore and moans and whimpers started coming from deep within the blonde. The need for oxygen drove them apart, but Brooke simply moved down her neck, nipping and sucking, as she made her way to Sam’s collarbone. Sam gasped as the blonde’s hand ran down her side and over her stomach moving back up to rest just under the swell of Sam’s breast.
When Brooke’s hand tentatively cupped her breast, Sam knew she needed to cool things off. She placed her hand on Brooke’s chest and gently pushed her away. Hazel eyes looked up at her in confusion, and she offered the blonde a loving smile.
“That was…wow, but I think we need to back up. I’m not really ready to go any further than this,” Sam said trying to get her breathing under control.
She saw the disappoint flicker across Brooke’s face, but the blonde nodded her head in understanding. “You’re right. So this is new…”
“Yeah, but nice…better than nice. It feels great.”
“Definitely,” Brooke said with a big smile. They sat there grinning at each other like a bunch of loons for a moment. “So…um…so…so does this mean we’re…dating now?”
“We can call it dating. Of course that implies that we’ll actually have to go on dates,” Sam replied jokingly.
Brooke rolled her eyes but smiled. “Well of course we’ll be going on dates. You don’t think that I worked this hard just keep you holed up in the house do you?” The blonde said moving to sit up on her bed. “I intend to show you off. Do all that disgustingly sweet and mushy stuff that other couples do. The stuff you did with Mia.”
Sam sat up, moving next to Brooke. “You know what’s funny is she was always telling me that you had feelings for me, but I didn’t believe her. That night when I kissed her, I think she knew that it was the first and last time. She didn’t say anything, but the look on her face said it all. She didn’t even look surprised.”
“You know, I wish I could say that I wished that you hadn’t ever dated her. But I can’t. If it weren’t for her, I would have never realized my feelings for you. So I guess I owe her a thanks.” Brooke said wrapping her arms around Sam.
They stayed that way for a while, both reveling in the contentment that settled over them. Sam couldn’t remember the last time she felt this happy, and she couldn’t keep the grin off of her face. She wasn’t deluding herself. She knew that they had a long hard road ahead of them, but in this moment, wrapped in Brooke’s arms and listening to the beat of her heart, she knew that things would work out fine as long as they were together.