The Truth about Tippy Typewriter (7/?)
Title: The Truth about Tippy Typewriter Part Seven
Rating: NC-17 eventually
Couple: Sam/Brooke eventually
Summary: Brooke stumbles across Sam's secret journal
Disclaimer: I don't own them, but I certainly wish I did. Damn Ryan
Murphy and his unrivaled genius.
A/N: I live for feedback, and all is welcomed and appreciated. This part is actually beta'd by my beta Karen. She's really kick ass, and I love working with her. So thanks Karen!
Part Seven
Brooke sighed as she heard the door to Sam’s room open and close. It was followed by the sound of footsteps in the hall. She held her breath as the feet paused in front of her door, but sighed again as the brunette continued down the stairs. The blonde flopped down on her bed. She was bluer than blue, and there was no one to blame but herself.
She felt like she was going crazy lately. Her emotions were up and down, and they only intensified every time she was near Sam. Something inside of her felt like it was slowly dying, and she couldn’t breathe. She continued to read “Tippy’s Journal” even though it caused a burning sensation in her stomach, and she would sometimes lay awake in her bed late at night running the words through her mind over and over again. Sam hadn't said much about the disaster that had happened, but it had destroyed the thing that mattered to Brooke the most, their friendship. Sam really liked Mia. Brooke couldn’t understand why she couldn’t just be happy for the journalist. Sam was her friend after all.
She couldn’t explain it, but whenever she was in the other girl’s presence she became a completely different person. Someone she didn’t recognize, and it wasn’t like Mia had done anything to her. There was just something about her that got under Brooke’s skin. She was just too…perfect. Having to hear Sam talk about how wonderful Mia was made Brooke feel like her heart was being ripped into little pieces, and she felt like she was going to be sick. This was not a normal reaction to have to someone she disliked. She’d disliked plenty of people in the past. Hell she even disliked a few people she knew now, but no one made her react the way Mia did.
And she still didn’t know what she’d been trying to achieve that night at dinner, certainly not a week of the silent treatment from Sam. Things had gone a lot further than she’d ever thought they would. She hadn’t meant the hurtful things she said to the brunette. She just hadn’t liked the thought of having to sit at her dinner table, with her family, watching Sam making eyes at the petite blonde. She’d tried putting it off for as long as she could. There hadn’t been cheerleading practice. Brooke had just driven to the park and sat there people watching until she figured she’d missed most of dinner. All the while, her mind had been filled with thoughts of everyone sitting around the table laughing and having a good time, not even thinking about her. When she had finally gone home, and she saw the girl sitting there as if she belonged, Brooke was angry. She’d almost let it slip that she knew about Sam’s feelings towards her. Angry was not a good shade on Brooke. She was slowly becoming a person she didn’t like. The fact that Sam now brought Mia to the house on a regular basis only added fuel to an already out of control fire. Why couldn’t Sam see how phony she was? Why did she have to look at Sam like that? Why couldn’t they just break up already?
Whoa, where did that come from? Brooke asked herself in confusion. Why would she even think something like that? She let out a growl of frustration as the burning returned to her stomach. She’d never felt like this before. Wait, that wasn’t exactly true. She had felt this way before. It had only happened twice that she could remember, both times with Josh. Once when Josh had been dating Carmen, and when he’d first started dating Lily, but that couldn’t be right. Those situations were completely different. She’d been jealous because she wanted Josh. She didn’t want Mia, did she? Eww no, she thought with a frown. She didn’t want Sam either, right? No, that was crazy. Why would she even think… No, there was no way. She couldn’t, could she?
Brooke paced around the room trying to gather her thoughts. Too many of them were coming at her at one time. Images of Sam from various stages of their relationship fluttered from the deep recesses of her mind, as her thoughts swirled. It was like they were all trying to form one thread, a single thought, but they kept getting jumbled. She needed to take a moment to sort through them.
Did she think Sam was attractive? Well sure, anyone with eyes could see Sam was beautiful - no more than beautiful, Sam was sexy…hot…stunning. That was plain as day to anyone who looked at her. But she thought the same things about Nicole Kidman when she watched Moulin Rouge. There was nothing wrong with that, right? Could she see herself kissing Sam? She had to admit that she had thought about it from time to time. Especially when she saw the journalist running her tongue along her teeth or sticking it in the side of her cheek. She bet Sam was a fabulous kisser. That thought made her blush. Could she see herself touching Sam? She touched Sam constantly, at least she used to. Touching her intimately? That thought made her blush even deeper as Sam’s oral fixation came back to mind.
Okay so she was attracted to Sam, she could deal with that. There was nothing wrong with being attracted to another girl. Then why was she jealous? Why was it that the thought of Mia touching the brunette made her want to rip every strand of blonde hair from the other cheerleader’s head? That seemed to be indicative of feelings that were more than attraction. But how much more? She cared about Sam a lot. And the brunette seemed to occupy her thoughts constantly. Sam had a way of getting a person caught up in her excitement or latest crusade. Brooke loved when the journalist would come home after one of her articles in the Zapruder had turned out well. Whenever Sam was having a bad day, Brooke went out of her way to try to get Sam to smile or laugh. She’d learned over the last couple of months they’d been friends how to do just that. It didn’t hurt that she was normally rewarded with a hug. No one gave a hug like Sam did. For one thing, Sam always smelled incredible, and she was so warm. The blonde could spend all day wrapped in Sam’s arms. They always made Brooke feel like she was one half of a puzzle being put back together. And there it was, the answer to her question. Sam was the other half to her puzzle. They just fit together. Even when they fought something always drew them back together.
That was why she’d never felt threatened by George or Harrison. They’d never been competition, not like Mia. Mia threatened everything. She’d even reverted back to their old ways, and Sam had simply walked away. And they hadn’t spoken in a week. Sam wouldn’t even look at her. Without Sam, she felt lost and incomplete. She needed Sam. Something about finally admitting that made her feel like a terrible weight had been lifted from her shoulders. The fear she was expecting didn’t come. In fact, she felt sort of euphoric. She wanted Sam. And she would have Sam. But how?
_____________________________________________________________________
Brooke walked into her room and slammed the door. She was in the worst mood imaginable, but that wasn’t anything new. Five days! Five days since she’d made her little self-discovery, and it hadn’t made her life any easier. No, if anything it had made her life ten times harder. How could she have not seen it? It was like someone had given her the missing lens to her glasses, and she was overly aware of everything Sam did. The way her laughter filled the air when someone told a joke at the lunch table. The little smirk she got on her face whenever she gave the Claw the right answer in class. Even the way she ate her dinner at night, and her tongue would snake out to catch the little bit of seasoning that was caught on her lip. But none of that made a bit of difference. To Sam, Brooke didn’t exist. No matter what she did, Sam wouldn’t even acknowledge her presence. To make matters worse, Brooke found herself thinking irrational things about the brunette. Things that involved her pulling Sam into the Novak and giving her that first kiss that “Tippy’s Journal” told her Sam still longed for.
That was hard to do when the other person wouldn’t even look in your direction. Well, she hadn’t been completely immune to Brooke’s charms, the blonde thought with a smirk. She remembered the look on Sam’s face the previous day, when she’d come into the kitchen sporting the new Bring It pep squad uniform. By the time Sam’s brown eyes had finally met Brooke’s hazel, she’d scowled and turned away, but not before Brooke saw the blush that had crept from the journalist’s cheeks to the tip of her ears. That had filled her with a renewed sense of hope.
Sam was still interested, but Brooke needed to act fast. Sam’d already been going out with Mia for almost two months, and the blonde was well aware of what happened when Harrison had told her about his feelings, and she’d been with George. The problem was that she’d been allowing the brunette to avoid her, and if that kept up, she’d be giving the toast at Sam and Mia’s wedding; that is if she was even invited. No, she needed to make Sam see that her feelings were no longer unrequited. A plan formed in her mind and she knew she needed to act right away or risk losing her nerve.
She walked the two doors down to Sam’s room and opened the door without knocking. Sam, who was sitting at her desk writing an article, spun around in surprise. “God Brooke, do you even understand the concept of a closed door? Don’t you know how to knock?”
“What would have been the point? Would you have let me in if I did?” Brooke asked in a matter of fact tone.
The brunette just shrugged before returning her attention to her laptop and for a moment Brooke wondered if this was such a good idea. She quickly tamped down her feelings and proceeded. “Sam, we need to talk.”
“We do? That’s funny cause everything I had to say to you, I said two weeks ago.”
“Well maybe now I have something to say that you need to listen to.” Brooke replied. Sam was silent, but Brooke knew she was listening. “First, I want to say I’m sorry for the way I acted at dinner. I said a lot of things I didn’t mean. I got caught up in the moment and said hurtful things. I was out of line, and you were right when you said I wasn’t acting like a friend. I…I haven’t been acting like friend a lot lately…” At that Sam turned wary brown eyes towards her. She looked back at the girl she’d never really noticed before, and wondered how she could have ever been so blind. “It’s just I’ve been going through some things lately. Things I wasn’t really aware I was going through, and, uh, I should have been talking to you about how I was feeling instead of shutting you out.”
“Yes you should have, Brooke. You told me, that day in the store, that you felt like you could tell me things and I wouldn’t judge you. Did you mean that? Did you really believe that?” Sam finished quietly.
Brooke could see the hurt in Sam’s eyes, and mentally chastised herself for being the person to put it there. When this was all over and Sam was finally hers, she’d make sure that she made it up to Sam.
“I did mean it, and I do believe it. It’s just…I think it was something I had to figure out myself first. But now I’m ready to talk with you.”
The scowl was now gone from Sam’s face as she sat forward in rapt attention. Brooke took a deep breath and smiled over at the journalist. “I think you should break up with Mia.”
Sam sat back, stunned. Her mouth was open as wide as her eyes. Brooke thought she looked like a dying fish. “Excuse me? What did you say?” The brunette asked incredulously.
Okay, maybe leading with that wasn’t such a bright idea, Brooke thought, but hindsight was twenty-twenty, and now it was time to do damage control. “Okay Sam, that came out all wrong.”
“It did? You meant to say something other than that I should break up with my girlfriend?”
“No, I meant that, but not the way I said it. Just let me explain what I…”
“No, I don’t think you need to explain, Brooke. I think I understand just fine. God, why did I expect you to change? It’s always about Brooke. It always has been. I mean it’s bad enough you don’t like her, but now, now you’re telling me who to date?”
“Sam it’s not like that…There are things I need to say. Things you aren’t letting me say.”
“Oh yeah? Cause I think you’ve said enough already.” Sam said standing up from her chair and pacing.
“I know you think that, but if you would just let me explain…”
“Explain what Brooke? That you’re the most self centered, cold-hearted bitch on the planet? I mean you went from apologizing to telling me to break up with Mia in like five seconds flat. That’s got to be some kind of record. How could I ever consider you a friend? A friend wouldn’t come in here and tell me to break up with my girlfriend simply because she didn’t like her.”
“No, but a friend would tell you when you were making a big mistake.” Brooke shouted, causing Sam to stop mid-pace.
“And what gives you the impression that I’m making a big mistake?”
“It’s been almost two months and you haven’t even kissed the girl. Geez Sam, senior citizens don’t go that slow.”
Sam visibly bristled at that. “Well excuse me for not wanting to jump into bed with the first girl I date. This is new territory for me,” Sam said defensively.
“That may be what you tell Mia and yourself, but why don’t you just admit that you don’t think she’s the one for you? I think it’s pretty obvious.”
“Why don’t I admit…why don’t you admit that you don’t like that someone else now has monopoly on my time? Poor lapdog Sammy with no social life isn’t waiting around to live out her days vicariously through the Great Queen B.”
“That is not what this is about!” Brooke spat back.
“Oh it isn’t? Then why don’t you tell me what this is about? Because I obviously don’t know.”
“You want to know what this is about? Fine, it’s about this…” Brooke said as she stood in front of the brunette. She tangled her hands in Sam’s hair and crushed their lips together.
Sam fought her at first out of shock, but she didn’t resist for. With a whimper, she began to kiss back. The kiss was urgent but tender, and the blonde thought her knees were going to buckle when she felt Sam’s tongue tentatively flick her bottom lip, asking for admittance. She gladly acquiesced, and as Sam’s tongue timidly explored her mouth, a feeling of rightness swept over her. She wondered why she’d fought this for so long. This was where she belonged, pressed against Sam with the journalist’s hands moving slowly down her back, causing her to moan.
The sound of the moan seemed to lift the fog that had settled over them. Before she knew what was happening, Sam was wrenching her mouth away, stumbling backwards. “What the hell was that?”
“That was me telling you I have feelings for you, and I know you have feelings for me too.”
“You have…feelings for me? When? What? I …I, I can’t do this. I, uh, I have a girlfriend, and you’re Brooke, and you’re straight…and I have...I have a girlfriend.” Sam stuttered.
“A fact that I’m painfully aware of, hence my earlier statement.” Brooke replied. The words seemed to break the stupor that Sam had temporarily fallen in. Her brown eyes flashed, and Brooke could barely keep from flinching.
“And you think you can just waltz in here and tell me to break up with her and…and kiss me like that? And then what was I supposed to do? Just fall into your arms, and completely disregard a relationship I have built over the past two months?”
Brooke looked away sheepishly. She really didn’t know what she had expected when she’d come into Sam’s room, but now she was wishing that she hadn’t. “Well, when you say it like that it sounds so callous.” Then, figuring she couldn’t mess up more than she already had, she decided to be totally honest, “In a perfect world, I guess I assumed that you would.”
“Well you know what happens when you assume, Brooke. You make an ass out of you and me!” The brunette said shutting her laptop and storming towards the door.
“Sam…Sammy where are you going?” Brooke called after her.
Sam spun around, and there was something in her eyes that Brooke had never seen before. “I’m going to see my girlfriend, and do what, according to you, I should have done two months ago.” The brunette said walking out of the room and slamming the door.
Brooke flopped back down on the bed, letting out a sigh as tears of fear and frustration streamed down her cheeks. She’d really fucked things up.
________________________________________________________________________
Sam returned three hours later, long after everyone had gone to bed. Brooke lay awake in her bed, listening to Sam’s soft footsteps as she walked quietly past the blonde’s room and into her own. Brooke turned over on her side, willing her tears not to come. She didn’t know what she was going to do. Sam definitely wasn’t going to break up with Mia, and now she was going to know, first hand, what it felt like to have unrequited feelings. Feelings that she’d so foolishly pushed Sam away for having.
She heard Sam moving in the hall again, past her room and to the bathroom. This was like torture, but she was responsible for this mess. If she was destined to live a life of listening to and watching Sam from afar, then so be it. Moments later she heard her door open and held impossibly still as the brunette stood in her doorway. She listened as the door closed again, and let out the breath she’d been holding. Only the footsteps she expected going down the hall were making their way over towards her. She felt the gentle pressure of Sam sitting on her bed, and willed her erratic breathing to be normal.
“I kissed her.” Sam said quietly.
Brooke really didn’t like where this conversation was headed. She would rather be alone assuming the worst, than with Sam having her confirm her worst fears. But there was no sense in continuing to feign sleep since they both knew she was awake. “And how was it?” She croaked out.
“It was…nice.” Sam replied nonchalantly.
“Oh,” was all the blonde said, and an awkward silence fell over the room.
“And then…we broke up.” Sam said quietly.
Brooke turned over and looked at Sam’s face. The brunette was obviously upset. “Why?”
“Why?” She asked with a humorless chuckle. “Because I kissed her, and all I could think about was you. All I could think when my girlfriend who I was crazy about kissed me, was how she wasn’t you.”
“Oh,” was all Brooke said as silence, once again, filled the room.
“I told you that, and all you can say is ‘oh?’”
“Well, I’m not really sure what else to say. I mean I’m obviously not happy that you’re upset, but I can’t say I’m complaining that my kiss affected you.”
“Yeah well, don’t get too happy there, Princess. There are a few things that you and I need to work out.”
At this Brooke sat up. She didn’t care what they had to work out. She was just happy that Sam had come back to her. She felt like she wanted to get up and dance. Well, maybe not dance, but she was definitely brimming with unshed energy. “Okay, what would you like to talk about first?” She asked with a big smile.
“You said something earlier that caught my attention. Just how did you know that I had feelings for you?” Sam asked cautiously.
Brooke’s smile faded as her euphoria came to a screeching halt. What should she do? She could take the easy way out and lie about reading “Tippy’s” journal, or she could be honest and risk losing Sam forever. She took one look up into Sam’s brown eyes, and she knew that she would never be able to live with herself if their relationship was based on a lie. So Brooke took a deep breath and stepped off into the deep end.
“I read ‘Tippy’s’ journal.”
Rating: NC-17 eventually
Couple: Sam/Brooke eventually
Summary: Brooke stumbles across Sam's secret journal
Disclaimer: I don't own them, but I certainly wish I did. Damn Ryan
Murphy and his unrivaled genius.
A/N: I live for feedback, and all is welcomed and appreciated. This part is actually beta'd by my beta Karen. She's really kick ass, and I love working with her. So thanks Karen!
Part Seven
Brooke sighed as she heard the door to Sam’s room open and close. It was followed by the sound of footsteps in the hall. She held her breath as the feet paused in front of her door, but sighed again as the brunette continued down the stairs. The blonde flopped down on her bed. She was bluer than blue, and there was no one to blame but herself.
She felt like she was going crazy lately. Her emotions were up and down, and they only intensified every time she was near Sam. Something inside of her felt like it was slowly dying, and she couldn’t breathe. She continued to read “Tippy’s Journal” even though it caused a burning sensation in her stomach, and she would sometimes lay awake in her bed late at night running the words through her mind over and over again. Sam hadn't said much about the disaster that had happened, but it had destroyed the thing that mattered to Brooke the most, their friendship. Sam really liked Mia. Brooke couldn’t understand why she couldn’t just be happy for the journalist. Sam was her friend after all.
She couldn’t explain it, but whenever she was in the other girl’s presence she became a completely different person. Someone she didn’t recognize, and it wasn’t like Mia had done anything to her. There was just something about her that got under Brooke’s skin. She was just too…perfect. Having to hear Sam talk about how wonderful Mia was made Brooke feel like her heart was being ripped into little pieces, and she felt like she was going to be sick. This was not a normal reaction to have to someone she disliked. She’d disliked plenty of people in the past. Hell she even disliked a few people she knew now, but no one made her react the way Mia did.
And she still didn’t know what she’d been trying to achieve that night at dinner, certainly not a week of the silent treatment from Sam. Things had gone a lot further than she’d ever thought they would. She hadn’t meant the hurtful things she said to the brunette. She just hadn’t liked the thought of having to sit at her dinner table, with her family, watching Sam making eyes at the petite blonde. She’d tried putting it off for as long as she could. There hadn’t been cheerleading practice. Brooke had just driven to the park and sat there people watching until she figured she’d missed most of dinner. All the while, her mind had been filled with thoughts of everyone sitting around the table laughing and having a good time, not even thinking about her. When she had finally gone home, and she saw the girl sitting there as if she belonged, Brooke was angry. She’d almost let it slip that she knew about Sam’s feelings towards her. Angry was not a good shade on Brooke. She was slowly becoming a person she didn’t like. The fact that Sam now brought Mia to the house on a regular basis only added fuel to an already out of control fire. Why couldn’t Sam see how phony she was? Why did she have to look at Sam like that? Why couldn’t they just break up already?
Whoa, where did that come from? Brooke asked herself in confusion. Why would she even think something like that? She let out a growl of frustration as the burning returned to her stomach. She’d never felt like this before. Wait, that wasn’t exactly true. She had felt this way before. It had only happened twice that she could remember, both times with Josh. Once when Josh had been dating Carmen, and when he’d first started dating Lily, but that couldn’t be right. Those situations were completely different. She’d been jealous because she wanted Josh. She didn’t want Mia, did she? Eww no, she thought with a frown. She didn’t want Sam either, right? No, that was crazy. Why would she even think… No, there was no way. She couldn’t, could she?
Brooke paced around the room trying to gather her thoughts. Too many of them were coming at her at one time. Images of Sam from various stages of their relationship fluttered from the deep recesses of her mind, as her thoughts swirled. It was like they were all trying to form one thread, a single thought, but they kept getting jumbled. She needed to take a moment to sort through them.
Did she think Sam was attractive? Well sure, anyone with eyes could see Sam was beautiful - no more than beautiful, Sam was sexy…hot…stunning. That was plain as day to anyone who looked at her. But she thought the same things about Nicole Kidman when she watched Moulin Rouge. There was nothing wrong with that, right? Could she see herself kissing Sam? She had to admit that she had thought about it from time to time. Especially when she saw the journalist running her tongue along her teeth or sticking it in the side of her cheek. She bet Sam was a fabulous kisser. That thought made her blush. Could she see herself touching Sam? She touched Sam constantly, at least she used to. Touching her intimately? That thought made her blush even deeper as Sam’s oral fixation came back to mind.
Okay so she was attracted to Sam, she could deal with that. There was nothing wrong with being attracted to another girl. Then why was she jealous? Why was it that the thought of Mia touching the brunette made her want to rip every strand of blonde hair from the other cheerleader’s head? That seemed to be indicative of feelings that were more than attraction. But how much more? She cared about Sam a lot. And the brunette seemed to occupy her thoughts constantly. Sam had a way of getting a person caught up in her excitement or latest crusade. Brooke loved when the journalist would come home after one of her articles in the Zapruder had turned out well. Whenever Sam was having a bad day, Brooke went out of her way to try to get Sam to smile or laugh. She’d learned over the last couple of months they’d been friends how to do just that. It didn’t hurt that she was normally rewarded with a hug. No one gave a hug like Sam did. For one thing, Sam always smelled incredible, and she was so warm. The blonde could spend all day wrapped in Sam’s arms. They always made Brooke feel like she was one half of a puzzle being put back together. And there it was, the answer to her question. Sam was the other half to her puzzle. They just fit together. Even when they fought something always drew them back together.
That was why she’d never felt threatened by George or Harrison. They’d never been competition, not like Mia. Mia threatened everything. She’d even reverted back to their old ways, and Sam had simply walked away. And they hadn’t spoken in a week. Sam wouldn’t even look at her. Without Sam, she felt lost and incomplete. She needed Sam. Something about finally admitting that made her feel like a terrible weight had been lifted from her shoulders. The fear she was expecting didn’t come. In fact, she felt sort of euphoric. She wanted Sam. And she would have Sam. But how?
_____________________________________________________________________
Brooke walked into her room and slammed the door. She was in the worst mood imaginable, but that wasn’t anything new. Five days! Five days since she’d made her little self-discovery, and it hadn’t made her life any easier. No, if anything it had made her life ten times harder. How could she have not seen it? It was like someone had given her the missing lens to her glasses, and she was overly aware of everything Sam did. The way her laughter filled the air when someone told a joke at the lunch table. The little smirk she got on her face whenever she gave the Claw the right answer in class. Even the way she ate her dinner at night, and her tongue would snake out to catch the little bit of seasoning that was caught on her lip. But none of that made a bit of difference. To Sam, Brooke didn’t exist. No matter what she did, Sam wouldn’t even acknowledge her presence. To make matters worse, Brooke found herself thinking irrational things about the brunette. Things that involved her pulling Sam into the Novak and giving her that first kiss that “Tippy’s Journal” told her Sam still longed for.
That was hard to do when the other person wouldn’t even look in your direction. Well, she hadn’t been completely immune to Brooke’s charms, the blonde thought with a smirk. She remembered the look on Sam’s face the previous day, when she’d come into the kitchen sporting the new Bring It pep squad uniform. By the time Sam’s brown eyes had finally met Brooke’s hazel, she’d scowled and turned away, but not before Brooke saw the blush that had crept from the journalist’s cheeks to the tip of her ears. That had filled her with a renewed sense of hope.
Sam was still interested, but Brooke needed to act fast. Sam’d already been going out with Mia for almost two months, and the blonde was well aware of what happened when Harrison had told her about his feelings, and she’d been with George. The problem was that she’d been allowing the brunette to avoid her, and if that kept up, she’d be giving the toast at Sam and Mia’s wedding; that is if she was even invited. No, she needed to make Sam see that her feelings were no longer unrequited. A plan formed in her mind and she knew she needed to act right away or risk losing her nerve.
She walked the two doors down to Sam’s room and opened the door without knocking. Sam, who was sitting at her desk writing an article, spun around in surprise. “God Brooke, do you even understand the concept of a closed door? Don’t you know how to knock?”
“What would have been the point? Would you have let me in if I did?” Brooke asked in a matter of fact tone.
The brunette just shrugged before returning her attention to her laptop and for a moment Brooke wondered if this was such a good idea. She quickly tamped down her feelings and proceeded. “Sam, we need to talk.”
“We do? That’s funny cause everything I had to say to you, I said two weeks ago.”
“Well maybe now I have something to say that you need to listen to.” Brooke replied. Sam was silent, but Brooke knew she was listening. “First, I want to say I’m sorry for the way I acted at dinner. I said a lot of things I didn’t mean. I got caught up in the moment and said hurtful things. I was out of line, and you were right when you said I wasn’t acting like a friend. I…I haven’t been acting like friend a lot lately…” At that Sam turned wary brown eyes towards her. She looked back at the girl she’d never really noticed before, and wondered how she could have ever been so blind. “It’s just I’ve been going through some things lately. Things I wasn’t really aware I was going through, and, uh, I should have been talking to you about how I was feeling instead of shutting you out.”
“Yes you should have, Brooke. You told me, that day in the store, that you felt like you could tell me things and I wouldn’t judge you. Did you mean that? Did you really believe that?” Sam finished quietly.
Brooke could see the hurt in Sam’s eyes, and mentally chastised herself for being the person to put it there. When this was all over and Sam was finally hers, she’d make sure that she made it up to Sam.
“I did mean it, and I do believe it. It’s just…I think it was something I had to figure out myself first. But now I’m ready to talk with you.”
The scowl was now gone from Sam’s face as she sat forward in rapt attention. Brooke took a deep breath and smiled over at the journalist. “I think you should break up with Mia.”
Sam sat back, stunned. Her mouth was open as wide as her eyes. Brooke thought she looked like a dying fish. “Excuse me? What did you say?” The brunette asked incredulously.
Okay, maybe leading with that wasn’t such a bright idea, Brooke thought, but hindsight was twenty-twenty, and now it was time to do damage control. “Okay Sam, that came out all wrong.”
“It did? You meant to say something other than that I should break up with my girlfriend?”
“No, I meant that, but not the way I said it. Just let me explain what I…”
“No, I don’t think you need to explain, Brooke. I think I understand just fine. God, why did I expect you to change? It’s always about Brooke. It always has been. I mean it’s bad enough you don’t like her, but now, now you’re telling me who to date?”
“Sam it’s not like that…There are things I need to say. Things you aren’t letting me say.”
“Oh yeah? Cause I think you’ve said enough already.” Sam said standing up from her chair and pacing.
“I know you think that, but if you would just let me explain…”
“Explain what Brooke? That you’re the most self centered, cold-hearted bitch on the planet? I mean you went from apologizing to telling me to break up with Mia in like five seconds flat. That’s got to be some kind of record. How could I ever consider you a friend? A friend wouldn’t come in here and tell me to break up with my girlfriend simply because she didn’t like her.”
“No, but a friend would tell you when you were making a big mistake.” Brooke shouted, causing Sam to stop mid-pace.
“And what gives you the impression that I’m making a big mistake?”
“It’s been almost two months and you haven’t even kissed the girl. Geez Sam, senior citizens don’t go that slow.”
Sam visibly bristled at that. “Well excuse me for not wanting to jump into bed with the first girl I date. This is new territory for me,” Sam said defensively.
“That may be what you tell Mia and yourself, but why don’t you just admit that you don’t think she’s the one for you? I think it’s pretty obvious.”
“Why don’t I admit…why don’t you admit that you don’t like that someone else now has monopoly on my time? Poor lapdog Sammy with no social life isn’t waiting around to live out her days vicariously through the Great Queen B.”
“That is not what this is about!” Brooke spat back.
“Oh it isn’t? Then why don’t you tell me what this is about? Because I obviously don’t know.”
“You want to know what this is about? Fine, it’s about this…” Brooke said as she stood in front of the brunette. She tangled her hands in Sam’s hair and crushed their lips together.
Sam fought her at first out of shock, but she didn’t resist for. With a whimper, she began to kiss back. The kiss was urgent but tender, and the blonde thought her knees were going to buckle when she felt Sam’s tongue tentatively flick her bottom lip, asking for admittance. She gladly acquiesced, and as Sam’s tongue timidly explored her mouth, a feeling of rightness swept over her. She wondered why she’d fought this for so long. This was where she belonged, pressed against Sam with the journalist’s hands moving slowly down her back, causing her to moan.
The sound of the moan seemed to lift the fog that had settled over them. Before she knew what was happening, Sam was wrenching her mouth away, stumbling backwards. “What the hell was that?”
“That was me telling you I have feelings for you, and I know you have feelings for me too.”
“You have…feelings for me? When? What? I …I, I can’t do this. I, uh, I have a girlfriend, and you’re Brooke, and you’re straight…and I have...I have a girlfriend.” Sam stuttered.
“A fact that I’m painfully aware of, hence my earlier statement.” Brooke replied. The words seemed to break the stupor that Sam had temporarily fallen in. Her brown eyes flashed, and Brooke could barely keep from flinching.
“And you think you can just waltz in here and tell me to break up with her and…and kiss me like that? And then what was I supposed to do? Just fall into your arms, and completely disregard a relationship I have built over the past two months?”
Brooke looked away sheepishly. She really didn’t know what she had expected when she’d come into Sam’s room, but now she was wishing that she hadn’t. “Well, when you say it like that it sounds so callous.” Then, figuring she couldn’t mess up more than she already had, she decided to be totally honest, “In a perfect world, I guess I assumed that you would.”
“Well you know what happens when you assume, Brooke. You make an ass out of you and me!” The brunette said shutting her laptop and storming towards the door.
“Sam…Sammy where are you going?” Brooke called after her.
Sam spun around, and there was something in her eyes that Brooke had never seen before. “I’m going to see my girlfriend, and do what, according to you, I should have done two months ago.” The brunette said walking out of the room and slamming the door.
Brooke flopped back down on the bed, letting out a sigh as tears of fear and frustration streamed down her cheeks. She’d really fucked things up.
________________________________________________________________________
Sam returned three hours later, long after everyone had gone to bed. Brooke lay awake in her bed, listening to Sam’s soft footsteps as she walked quietly past the blonde’s room and into her own. Brooke turned over on her side, willing her tears not to come. She didn’t know what she was going to do. Sam definitely wasn’t going to break up with Mia, and now she was going to know, first hand, what it felt like to have unrequited feelings. Feelings that she’d so foolishly pushed Sam away for having.
She heard Sam moving in the hall again, past her room and to the bathroom. This was like torture, but she was responsible for this mess. If she was destined to live a life of listening to and watching Sam from afar, then so be it. Moments later she heard her door open and held impossibly still as the brunette stood in her doorway. She listened as the door closed again, and let out the breath she’d been holding. Only the footsteps she expected going down the hall were making their way over towards her. She felt the gentle pressure of Sam sitting on her bed, and willed her erratic breathing to be normal.
“I kissed her.” Sam said quietly.
Brooke really didn’t like where this conversation was headed. She would rather be alone assuming the worst, than with Sam having her confirm her worst fears. But there was no sense in continuing to feign sleep since they both knew she was awake. “And how was it?” She croaked out.
“It was…nice.” Sam replied nonchalantly.
“Oh,” was all the blonde said, and an awkward silence fell over the room.
“And then…we broke up.” Sam said quietly.
Brooke turned over and looked at Sam’s face. The brunette was obviously upset. “Why?”
“Why?” She asked with a humorless chuckle. “Because I kissed her, and all I could think about was you. All I could think when my girlfriend who I was crazy about kissed me, was how she wasn’t you.”
“Oh,” was all Brooke said as silence, once again, filled the room.
“I told you that, and all you can say is ‘oh?’”
“Well, I’m not really sure what else to say. I mean I’m obviously not happy that you’re upset, but I can’t say I’m complaining that my kiss affected you.”
“Yeah well, don’t get too happy there, Princess. There are a few things that you and I need to work out.”
At this Brooke sat up. She didn’t care what they had to work out. She was just happy that Sam had come back to her. She felt like she wanted to get up and dance. Well, maybe not dance, but she was definitely brimming with unshed energy. “Okay, what would you like to talk about first?” She asked with a big smile.
“You said something earlier that caught my attention. Just how did you know that I had feelings for you?” Sam asked cautiously.
Brooke’s smile faded as her euphoria came to a screeching halt. What should she do? She could take the easy way out and lie about reading “Tippy’s” journal, or she could be honest and risk losing Sam forever. She took one look up into Sam’s brown eyes, and she knew that she would never be able to live with herself if their relationship was based on a lie. So Brooke took a deep breath and stepped off into the deep end.
“I read ‘Tippy’s’ journal.”