Impale a male... with a spork.
The past coupld of weeks have been chaos. And I hate it.
I need a change of scenery.
A change of pace.
A change in general.
----
Went to my first strip club Friday night... much awesome. Failed to go out for drinks with the hot guy because I looked like hell, needed a hair appointment and my makeup done, AND PLUS- he's too hot for me to go out with, let alone look in the eye.
But the strip club was great. Drank Captain Morgan Coconut Rum and Diet Coke on the way up... surprisingly delightful, since I loathe anything with coconut flavoring.
Get into the club, sit at the main stage, watching gorgeous women shake their stuff inches away from my face. As soon as I sit down, this DELICIOUS waitress comes up to me and offers me a tube shot. I accept. She straddles me, puts the tube in her cleavage, and instructs me to take it out with my teeth. I obey, take it back, and she retrieves it with her mouth. Ohhhhh man. Very cool. There were a few guys just staring at the scene because after all- how could a gorgeous woman like that talk to someone like me?!
THEN- this girl comes on stage. Positively perfect. She was smiling at me the whole time, winking and whatnot. I felt so fucking special. She gets done, put her clothes on (while she's staring at me) and then comes over. We have a cigarette, and she offers me a lapdance. I'm like HELL YEAH!!!
We go back to the lounge, and she gives me the most incredible experience I have ever encountered. I mean...
There she was, climbing all over me and on the booth. We're talking EXTREME acrobatics. And she wasn't shy, either. She licked me... several times... in several places.... and it was ... yeah.... and in turn, she let me lick her wherever I wanted... and she let me chew on her a little. Yeah, by the way she was acting while I did it... she enjoyed it. I left, she grabbed my ass, and I went to sit with Amanda at the stage and drink some more.
Oh my GOD- I was soooo jealous of those girls.
I want to look like them. Strip like them. Be as flat out INCREDBILE as them. I mean they were climing 20-30 foot poles to the TOP and doing CIRQUE DE SOLIEL (sp?) on those poles... and oh man it was a sight to see.
Every chance I got I scoured the room for hot guys. There were quite a few (not as many dirty old men as I had anticipated). I made eye contact with a few of them, and they bought Amanda and I drinks. Very nice. They were impressed with our sitting at the main stage, flirting with the strippers.
A little while later, my stripper came back to me. Sat with me, smoked with me. I told her I envied her- wished I could do what she did with the balls and confidence she had.. not to mention have her body. She told me that once I gain some confidence I should try out... and that I shouldn't worry- I have a fantstic face and gorgeous eyes.
I blushed.
THEN a bouncer came up to Amanda and I. Told us we were invited up to the VIP lounge to meet some guys.
Dirty old men is more like it. The one that was paying attention to me was 42, has a 20 year old son in college, and is separated from his wife (and informs me that he does indeed have papers to prove it). He kept asking for my number, so I gave him the 867-5309 number... dumbass put it in his cell phone.
So we leave, drunk dial people on the way home, fun all around. Call Bubba, have some interesting conversations... pass out thinking everything is cool.
Wake up the following morning, and go shopping. And man did I blow some money.
Come home, and get ready to go keep Bubba company at the bar.
See Scott, have some fun. Have some Rum. See his newest pride and joy (he started his own towing company). Then we talk about how people want us to settle down, and I mention that the person I like is totally wishy washy about me.
He says: "Who- Bubba?"
I say: "Bingo."
He says: "How does his girlfriend feel about that?"
I'm silent... just kinda sittin on Nick's Miata staring at Scott. And then all I could say was "Really." I said that for about twenty minutes. I look over at Bubba, hanging around some girls as Scott says "That's her in the black hat."
And I say "really" again for about five more minutes.
Scott sees how pissed I am and instantly tried to do damage control with "I could be wrong! I could be wrong!"
I immediately review the text messages of him saying how wonderful I am, and how good I am for him, and how he loves me as a very dear friend but he's still unsure of whether he's IN love with me "yet". And I show them to Scott. And he keeps saying "I could be wrong! I could be wrong!"
This of course does not resolve anything.
I take him out of my phone book. Erase my recent calls. Erase all the text messages. Erase every single voicemail.
And Scott sees how very angry I am. And just stands there.
---------
I just want to know something...
WHEN DID I HAVE THE WORDS "USE ME" TATTOOED ON MY FORHEAD?!?!?!
So I've been stewing all last night and all day today. I'm so very angry at him... mostly for what he's done to me, and how I have wasted a WHOLE YEAR trying to get with this guy. The SAME guy who tried to steal me from MP when I had finished my sophomore year of college. The one and the same who kept hitting on me at work and inviting me out to his house for alcohol when all I wanted was to be with my boyfriend... not him.
And then I come back from school, and it happens again. And this time I have no boyfriend to be 100% loyal to, so I'm completely vulnerable to his game... the whole "I feel so alone so I take up my time with the Firehouse, two jobs and try and raise my son" routine. I fell for it for a YEAR.
No more.
I'm done.
I've had it.
I'm going on a dating hiatus. I don't want to date anyone. Have feelings for anyone.
In that respect, I wish I had Krystal's ability to have a shield of solid steel that which no one can penetrate to hurt her.
I envy that trait of hers so much.
Can't she just move up here and be my emotional bodyguard?
I need a change of scenery.
A change of pace.
A change in general.
----
Went to my first strip club Friday night... much awesome. Failed to go out for drinks with the hot guy because I looked like hell, needed a hair appointment and my makeup done, AND PLUS- he's too hot for me to go out with, let alone look in the eye.
But the strip club was great. Drank Captain Morgan Coconut Rum and Diet Coke on the way up... surprisingly delightful, since I loathe anything with coconut flavoring.
Get into the club, sit at the main stage, watching gorgeous women shake their stuff inches away from my face. As soon as I sit down, this DELICIOUS waitress comes up to me and offers me a tube shot. I accept. She straddles me, puts the tube in her cleavage, and instructs me to take it out with my teeth. I obey, take it back, and she retrieves it with her mouth. Ohhhhh man. Very cool. There were a few guys just staring at the scene because after all- how could a gorgeous woman like that talk to someone like me?!
THEN- this girl comes on stage. Positively perfect. She was smiling at me the whole time, winking and whatnot. I felt so fucking special. She gets done, put her clothes on (while she's staring at me) and then comes over. We have a cigarette, and she offers me a lapdance. I'm like HELL YEAH!!!
We go back to the lounge, and she gives me the most incredible experience I have ever encountered. I mean...
There she was, climbing all over me and on the booth. We're talking EXTREME acrobatics. And she wasn't shy, either. She licked me... several times... in several places.... and it was ... yeah.... and in turn, she let me lick her wherever I wanted... and she let me chew on her a little. Yeah, by the way she was acting while I did it... she enjoyed it. I left, she grabbed my ass, and I went to sit with Amanda at the stage and drink some more.
Oh my GOD- I was soooo jealous of those girls.
I want to look like them. Strip like them. Be as flat out INCREDBILE as them. I mean they were climing 20-30 foot poles to the TOP and doing CIRQUE DE SOLIEL (sp?) on those poles... and oh man it was a sight to see.
Every chance I got I scoured the room for hot guys. There were quite a few (not as many dirty old men as I had anticipated). I made eye contact with a few of them, and they bought Amanda and I drinks. Very nice. They were impressed with our sitting at the main stage, flirting with the strippers.
A little while later, my stripper came back to me. Sat with me, smoked with me. I told her I envied her- wished I could do what she did with the balls and confidence she had.. not to mention have her body. She told me that once I gain some confidence I should try out... and that I shouldn't worry- I have a fantstic face and gorgeous eyes.
I blushed.
THEN a bouncer came up to Amanda and I. Told us we were invited up to the VIP lounge to meet some guys.
Dirty old men is more like it. The one that was paying attention to me was 42, has a 20 year old son in college, and is separated from his wife (and informs me that he does indeed have papers to prove it). He kept asking for my number, so I gave him the 867-5309 number... dumbass put it in his cell phone.
So we leave, drunk dial people on the way home, fun all around. Call Bubba, have some interesting conversations... pass out thinking everything is cool.
Wake up the following morning, and go shopping. And man did I blow some money.
Come home, and get ready to go keep Bubba company at the bar.
See Scott, have some fun. Have some Rum. See his newest pride and joy (he started his own towing company). Then we talk about how people want us to settle down, and I mention that the person I like is totally wishy washy about me.
He says: "Who- Bubba?"
I say: "Bingo."
He says: "How does his girlfriend feel about that?"
I'm silent... just kinda sittin on Nick's Miata staring at Scott. And then all I could say was "Really." I said that for about twenty minutes. I look over at Bubba, hanging around some girls as Scott says "That's her in the black hat."
And I say "really" again for about five more minutes.
Scott sees how pissed I am and instantly tried to do damage control with "I could be wrong! I could be wrong!"
I immediately review the text messages of him saying how wonderful I am, and how good I am for him, and how he loves me as a very dear friend but he's still unsure of whether he's IN love with me "yet". And I show them to Scott. And he keeps saying "I could be wrong! I could be wrong!"
This of course does not resolve anything.
I take him out of my phone book. Erase my recent calls. Erase all the text messages. Erase every single voicemail.
And Scott sees how very angry I am. And just stands there.
---------
I just want to know something...
WHEN DID I HAVE THE WORDS "USE ME" TATTOOED ON MY FORHEAD?!?!?!
So I've been stewing all last night and all day today. I'm so very angry at him... mostly for what he's done to me, and how I have wasted a WHOLE YEAR trying to get with this guy. The SAME guy who tried to steal me from MP when I had finished my sophomore year of college. The one and the same who kept hitting on me at work and inviting me out to his house for alcohol when all I wanted was to be with my boyfriend... not him.
And then I come back from school, and it happens again. And this time I have no boyfriend to be 100% loyal to, so I'm completely vulnerable to his game... the whole "I feel so alone so I take up my time with the Firehouse, two jobs and try and raise my son" routine. I fell for it for a YEAR.
No more.
I'm done.
I've had it.
I'm going on a dating hiatus. I don't want to date anyone. Have feelings for anyone.
In that respect, I wish I had Krystal's ability to have a shield of solid steel that which no one can penetrate to hurt her.
I envy that trait of hers so much.
Can't she just move up here and be my emotional bodyguard?