A New Perspective on Life in General...
You Are 26 Years Old
26
Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.
What Age Do You Act?
Just got back from Ocean City- man was it chilly!! I didn't get to sit and tan on the beach, so I went and got a tan in a bottle, and now I'm all streak-ified. Oh well. I'll head to a tanning salon and get a spray tan to even it out a bit.
So yeah- VACATION RULES!! All I did when I got to Ocean City was walk on the boardwalk, read, stare at the crashing waves on the beach, window shopped at all the pretty jewelry stores, watched TV, eat, sleep, and whatnot. It was sooo relaxing to be in the Hotel Room (which was extra large because it's a handicapped room) by myself and sit and ponder.
Rich came down the first night because he missed me. And things are going fine now- we've talked out all of our problems, yelled and screamed, he made me cry quite a few times, and found out what ticked us off about eachother.(Not during my vacation, of course- this was all before). But in the end, I love him dearly, and that's that. He's a BiPolar Personality that isn't on medication, and my pushing him to get help was making him very angry and verbally not fun to be around. But I read quite a few chapters in my book on BiPolar (specifically the coping chapter for people who have loved ones with BiPolar) and came to realize:
I have to be reasonable yet firm about his decision to not go to the doctor. As much as I hate him not getting his proper treatment, I cannot force him to go and pushing will only make things a lot worse before they get any better. I, however, have rights when it comes to his well being, though. As soon as he talks about hurting himself or getting violent with me- his ass is gonna be knocked out and taken directly to the hospital. No ifs ands or buts. It's what I would want done if I turned out that way... and I have been on many an occasion.
Right before my vacation we had a huge fight about taking a break. I was hysterical to say the least, and naturally called my one and only salvation: the Krystal. We met in Richmond, and I leaned on her for support. She naturally wanted to hurt him, but I won't allow it. She only means what she said because she knows he hurt me somethin' feirce, which is how she always is- protective of my well being (as I am of her). Rich got mad when I told him this, thinking my friends now hate him (when they fell in love with him when they met him a few weeks prior). This is not so (hopefully). My friends are protective of my heart, as they've seen it shattered many a time. But all in all he's good for me, and I have a suspicion that I am good for him as well.
And that's where things stand thus far.
Anyway.
So now just getting home, I have an agenda.
1-Send out bills promptly (as in this morning).
2-Completely clean out my Dart.
3-Organize and clean my room so it is spic and span (and so I can find things a heck of a lot easier).
4-Go to the gym.
5-Go shopping for an outfit fit for Dan's graduation.
6-Get my nails and feet polished.
7-Hit the Spray-on Tan Place. The splotchiness MUST end!!!
8-Make my doctor's appointments. I need a full physical, plus a reference to a nutritionist, a session with my shrink, a consultation with a therapist (my shrink's wife as it were), and a trip to my OB-GYN for a much needed consultation on both my STD and my lack of proper female hormones.
My very brief visit to OC made me come to actualization that I need to make some severe alterations to my behavior. I need to lose the poundage (at least 70 pounds). I want to look and feel good, and when I'm with my Krystal I don't want people to see just a tiny yellow cow and a large and rather round tiny cow. I want them to see a tiny yellow cow and a lean and sexy cow. Oh yes- cows have their moments of sexiness. I'm also finally giving up smoking. Once and for all. Rich and I are talking about getting serious. And if that should lead to a marriage or something like it, I don't want him to spend the time taking care of a cancer ridden dying cow. I want to live the rest of my life healthy and happy, smoke free. I have the patches sitting in my medicine cabinet. And they are finally going to get used.
I'm also going to see a nutritionist, because my diet needs to change drastically. I have dangerously high cholesterol, and I need to drop that level down significantly.
I'm going to finally use my membership to Curves and start going. I have the motivation to do so. To make me happier, healthier, stronger, and an all around durable tiny cow.
I'm also going to go into talk therapy, because I need it badly. It isn't the job of my friends and coworkers to hear the utmost turmoil of my life- I need a professional to help me cope with the twisted chamber that is my cranium. The book I read on BiPolar says it's good for me, because that way I can talk out my feelings on my illness and Rich's, and how to cope with both of us being BiPolar without straining our relationship to the point that it cannot be fixed. Talk therapy will also let me get out my aggression and frustration from dealing with the customers at work, and - if I get this job with the Po-po's- the calls that I will be taking in 12 hours a day, five days a week.
I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. As if doors are opening for me, new opportunities to change my life around are being presented to me. Unusally confident that things will undoubtedly become nothing but better for me.
-Sidenote-
Sunday is Mother's Day. I need to get roses and a card for Rich's mom (for giving me the second greatest gift I could ever ask for), and a gift for mine as well (who gave me the most important greatest gift- the whole "birth" thing).
-End Sidenote-
So as you can see, things are going swimmingly!! Krys and I are supposed to spend some time together this week, and Saturday is Dan's graduation (I'm so proud of him!!)
Speak of the devil- Krystal just signed on. And grr to the nth power, she put up an away message.
Ah well. She'll come back... eventually.
Anywho- I have a lot to do today, and little time to do it in. So I must dash.
OMG! What the hell is that over there???
--Scampers away, as you look the other way--
Later taters!