(the wind hits the rocks the soundtrack to my thoughts. just walk away don't even think about it...
you wouldn't understand if you tried)
i forgot how much i really enjoyed taking songs apart in my journal.
i forgot how easy it is to talk to the computer when you feel like no one listens, or no one understands, or you don't know how to explain to anyone but yourself how you're feeling.
maybe some eyes will graze this out of the blue entry, if not then it's not like it matters anyway.
i think i stopped doing this because it reminded me of people.
i hate thinking about stuff that shouldn't even matter to me anymore. you know what it feels like...it feels like i'm holding onto something...like something that was valuable before, say like this really rare coin ok. then the coin got put on a train track and flattened by a train and i pick it up, and its not valuable anymore. everyone says "that's just a smushed coin". i still see its value. i'm the only one. people who saw it in the past, don't think it still holds the same value. they forgot.
Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion
You see the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it
No matter how unbearable this misery gets
You make it sound so easy to be alive
But tell me how am I supposed seize this day
When everything inside me has died
I would be lying if I said that things would never get rough
And all this cliche motivation, it could never be enough
so it's summer. YAY!
i know i sound somewhat depressive, pensive, whatever. but i am excited about it being summer. so far this summer....
1) last day of school-sleepover at carlies with the girls it was fun
2) lisette's grad party
3) bbal practice, thursday at the square, breakdancing, brooke
4) PROM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5) forfeitted softball game...i forget what else
6) chataqua lake with colin and his fam for father's day
7) i forget monday
8) me and colin's anniversary!! went to niagara falls
9) graduation and then sleepover with hannah and stuffff yay
10) sickkk
11) lunch with erin yay and see colin
12) hangout with coleman and colin and rosieeeeeee
and here i am.....
12) my dad comes tomorrow!
and then lauren's birthday is on tuesday
and then we go to darien lake!!!!
i feel like i have lots of secrets right now. but i really don't. maybe. i just feel like there's lots of things to talk about, but i don't have the enrfy to talk about them....or don't want to start things...or no one wants to hear....or, i can't find the words.
i feel really weird.
but i'm excited so there's about to be no time to think!
yay summer.
i forgot how much i really enjoyed taking songs apart in my journal.
i forgot how easy it is to talk to the computer when you feel like no one listens, or no one understands, or you don't know how to explain to anyone but yourself how you're feeling.
maybe some eyes will graze this out of the blue entry, if not then it's not like it matters anyway.
i think i stopped doing this because it reminded me of people.
i hate thinking about stuff that shouldn't even matter to me anymore. you know what it feels like...it feels like i'm holding onto something...like something that was valuable before, say like this really rare coin ok. then the coin got put on a train track and flattened by a train and i pick it up, and its not valuable anymore. everyone says "that's just a smushed coin". i still see its value. i'm the only one. people who saw it in the past, don't think it still holds the same value. they forgot.
Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion
You see the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it
No matter how unbearable this misery gets
You make it sound so easy to be alive
But tell me how am I supposed seize this day
When everything inside me has died
I would be lying if I said that things would never get rough
And all this cliche motivation, it could never be enough
so it's summer. YAY!
i know i sound somewhat depressive, pensive, whatever. but i am excited about it being summer. so far this summer....
1) last day of school-sleepover at carlies with the girls it was fun
2) lisette's grad party
3) bbal practice, thursday at the square, breakdancing, brooke
4) PROM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5) forfeitted softball game...i forget what else
6) chataqua lake with colin and his fam for father's day
7) i forget monday
8) me and colin's anniversary!! went to niagara falls
9) graduation and then sleepover with hannah and stuffff yay
10) sickkk
11) lunch with erin yay and see colin
12) hangout with coleman and colin and rosieeeeeee
and here i am.....
12) my dad comes tomorrow!
and then lauren's birthday is on tuesday
and then we go to darien lake!!!!
i feel like i have lots of secrets right now. but i really don't. maybe. i just feel like there's lots of things to talk about, but i don't have the enrfy to talk about them....or don't want to start things...or no one wants to hear....or, i can't find the words.
i feel really weird.
but i'm excited so there's about to be no time to think!
yay summer.