A month of posts...
NaBloPoMo starts today. I am unofficially going to play along and try to get something posted every day. There is no reason not to be posting, I have lots going on and have the time to do it usually. Of course that will get difficult next week with a little vacation, but we will tackle that then!
Yesterday I spent 4 hours on the road going to and from El Dorado, Arkansas. There is very little of interest in El Dorado. There is very little of interest on the WAY to El Dorado. There is no direct route, it is a series of back, two lane roads through small town Arkansas. Not horrible, but not much to see. The further south you get in Arkansas the more aware you become of the number of people living at or below the poverty level here. There are plenty of nicer homes and farms, but for the most part, its a struggling existence at best.
So why the 10 cent tour of backwater Arkansas? I was going to visit my father. My biological father, for those of you who try to keep my family tree straight. Our relationship has been interesting to say the least. I found out he was my father on 8/8/88 at 8 pm. Until then, he had been peripherally in my life as a family friend. Uncle Ronnie, if you will. He tried being a father/ friend/ whatever for about a year. He couldn't handle it. He left, ran away as he says. We didn't talk about for 15 years. The year I was turning 30, I called him and asked if he was interested in meeting his grandchildren. Since then we've had a very open door relationship. I don't have expectations of him. I welcome him into my life when he's capable, and don't get involved with whatever he has going on outside of our motorcycle club. (He was the one who founded it. Ran it for 3 years. I joined to spend time with him.)
My father has been a drug addict since he was 16 years old. He's 55 this year. After a lifetime of getting by on charm and good luck, the last 6 years he has crashed... hard. He hit bottom and started digging. The harder things got, the more he used and used harder and harder drugs. He lost his business that was booming. He lost his marriage of 26 years. He lost his motorcycle club cause he couldn't stand endangering anyone with his habits. He lost stability. He lost credibility. He lost friends and family.
Last year, he called me in tears. He was in jail, in Mississippi. No way to get out, no money, nothing. Could I help bail him out. I couldn't leave him in there... For the first time in years, I was working last year. I had money set aside that was my own. No one knew this. It was just enough to help him. Though I swore I would never do it, I couldn't say no. So I did a crash course in the bail bonds system and got him out. Not as easy as you would think when done at a distance.
The result of his jail time was that he had to enter a drug school where he would live on his own, but report in for testing every week. There were other hoops he would have to go through, but that was the big one. There could be no slip ups. He made it 180 days. And then failed a test for meth.
That's how he ended up in El Dorado, Arkansas. He's in a rehab clinic there. A live in facility, where he will be for 90 days. They have 5 sessions a day with group and individual counsellings, plus go to AA meetings. On Wednesdays, they have Family Counseling sessions. And that is how I got to El Dorado, Arkansas.
He called and asked me to come. Said he had some things he needed to say to me. He's been there 35 days. I think they have been a big 35 days for him. I've never seen him healthier. He has gained weight. His eyes are clear. His can speak with out stuttering and losing train of thought. For the first time, he wants to be free of using. I don't know that I agree with the 12 step program, but I can't deny that it is working for him. And I am grateful for that.
It was worth the trip...
Yesterday I spent 4 hours on the road going to and from El Dorado, Arkansas. There is very little of interest in El Dorado. There is very little of interest on the WAY to El Dorado. There is no direct route, it is a series of back, two lane roads through small town Arkansas. Not horrible, but not much to see. The further south you get in Arkansas the more aware you become of the number of people living at or below the poverty level here. There are plenty of nicer homes and farms, but for the most part, its a struggling existence at best.
So why the 10 cent tour of backwater Arkansas? I was going to visit my father. My biological father, for those of you who try to keep my family tree straight. Our relationship has been interesting to say the least. I found out he was my father on 8/8/88 at 8 pm. Until then, he had been peripherally in my life as a family friend. Uncle Ronnie, if you will. He tried being a father/ friend/ whatever for about a year. He couldn't handle it. He left, ran away as he says. We didn't talk about for 15 years. The year I was turning 30, I called him and asked if he was interested in meeting his grandchildren. Since then we've had a very open door relationship. I don't have expectations of him. I welcome him into my life when he's capable, and don't get involved with whatever he has going on outside of our motorcycle club. (He was the one who founded it. Ran it for 3 years. I joined to spend time with him.)
My father has been a drug addict since he was 16 years old. He's 55 this year. After a lifetime of getting by on charm and good luck, the last 6 years he has crashed... hard. He hit bottom and started digging. The harder things got, the more he used and used harder and harder drugs. He lost his business that was booming. He lost his marriage of 26 years. He lost his motorcycle club cause he couldn't stand endangering anyone with his habits. He lost stability. He lost credibility. He lost friends and family.
Last year, he called me in tears. He was in jail, in Mississippi. No way to get out, no money, nothing. Could I help bail him out. I couldn't leave him in there... For the first time in years, I was working last year. I had money set aside that was my own. No one knew this. It was just enough to help him. Though I swore I would never do it, I couldn't say no. So I did a crash course in the bail bonds system and got him out. Not as easy as you would think when done at a distance.
The result of his jail time was that he had to enter a drug school where he would live on his own, but report in for testing every week. There were other hoops he would have to go through, but that was the big one. There could be no slip ups. He made it 180 days. And then failed a test for meth.
That's how he ended up in El Dorado, Arkansas. He's in a rehab clinic there. A live in facility, where he will be for 90 days. They have 5 sessions a day with group and individual counsellings, plus go to AA meetings. On Wednesdays, they have Family Counseling sessions. And that is how I got to El Dorado, Arkansas.
He called and asked me to come. Said he had some things he needed to say to me. He's been there 35 days. I think they have been a big 35 days for him. I've never seen him healthier. He has gained weight. His eyes are clear. His can speak with out stuttering and losing train of thought. For the first time, he wants to be free of using. I don't know that I agree with the 12 step program, but I can't deny that it is working for him. And I am grateful for that.
It was worth the trip...