My own personal butterfly effect.
Okay, so about a week or two ago, I had a dream. One I wished I never had to escape from. This is what happened:
I walked into my apartment, but everyone was gone. It was pitch black in the house, and suddenly a candle lit up and there was a man there. Not just a man. He was decrepid and his skin was wrinkled, yet firm and solid skin. He asked me if I could take back life, would I. I said yes. I walked back out through the front door, but on the other side was the room I had in Oakley in 6th grade. I was just starting middle school all over again.
I re-lived my whole middle school era, living it the way I should've. I was braver. I was more confident. I accomplished school goals. I became what I should've started out to be. I had real friends. I wasn't a tagalong. I was great in school. My dad stopped hassling me because I stood up against him and never let him kick me when I was down. I actually enjoyed growing up.
Then 9th grade came along. I chose to go to Antioch High with everyone else instead of Deer Valley. I also decided to go to homecoming. I never went in reality. I got checked at the front that night, and I was thrown in juvy for carrying this giant knife Rob gave me before I left Redding. What I didn't realize in my dream was how I had the knife, and how was I going to explain where I got it.
I carry the knife because of what happened in Hayward on my birthday. I carry it for safety. I got it from my friend Rob before I left Redding. I couldn't explain that to the police because in that time period I never even WENT to redding. I was terrified. It was at that moment I woke up.
The weird part is that I tried to go back to sleep so I could go back to that life. Anything is better than the path I chose. There are things I would miss dearly, but my future seems bleak at this rate. I know that if I would've done better at a young age I'd be better in the long run, especially now.
Things I regret/miss/wish I would've done:
-Stood up for myself
-Be an individual
-Never let my parents own my emotions
-Went to a different school
-Never ran away from Oakley
-Do better in school
-Think about my future instead of being so impulsive
-Do more for myself rather than do for others.
-Love life
There's alot more. ALOT more.
I just don't know when that list would end.
I walked into my apartment, but everyone was gone. It was pitch black in the house, and suddenly a candle lit up and there was a man there. Not just a man. He was decrepid and his skin was wrinkled, yet firm and solid skin. He asked me if I could take back life, would I. I said yes. I walked back out through the front door, but on the other side was the room I had in Oakley in 6th grade. I was just starting middle school all over again.
I re-lived my whole middle school era, living it the way I should've. I was braver. I was more confident. I accomplished school goals. I became what I should've started out to be. I had real friends. I wasn't a tagalong. I was great in school. My dad stopped hassling me because I stood up against him and never let him kick me when I was down. I actually enjoyed growing up.
Then 9th grade came along. I chose to go to Antioch High with everyone else instead of Deer Valley. I also decided to go to homecoming. I never went in reality. I got checked at the front that night, and I was thrown in juvy for carrying this giant knife Rob gave me before I left Redding. What I didn't realize in my dream was how I had the knife, and how was I going to explain where I got it.
I carry the knife because of what happened in Hayward on my birthday. I carry it for safety. I got it from my friend Rob before I left Redding. I couldn't explain that to the police because in that time period I never even WENT to redding. I was terrified. It was at that moment I woke up.
The weird part is that I tried to go back to sleep so I could go back to that life. Anything is better than the path I chose. There are things I would miss dearly, but my future seems bleak at this rate. I know that if I would've done better at a young age I'd be better in the long run, especially now.
Things I regret/miss/wish I would've done:
-Stood up for myself
-Be an individual
-Never let my parents own my emotions
-Went to a different school
-Never ran away from Oakley
-Do better in school
-Think about my future instead of being so impulsive
-Do more for myself rather than do for others.
-Love life
There's alot more. ALOT more.
I just don't know when that list would end.