Lighter Heart
It's amazing how much we have held in so much emotion that when we come before Jesus, our tears stream down faster that we'd thought.
I feel that I am drawing closer to God more and more each day than before. I'm in awe by how little I have been walking towards God but it has made a huge difference already.
So far, Celebrate Recovery has been healing me bit by bit that just by revealing my sins, my troubles, and my thoughts into the light to other people who are going through the same thing, makes the weight on my heart and soul so much lighter.
My heart was heavy last night though. I started remembering my past a little bit and thought that I don't ever want to be casted out away from God. I don't want to be alone and without Him. The thought brings me to tears because now, I really cannot continue my day with peace if I don't acknowledge God first.
I honestly have thought before, "Do I love God enough as much as He loves me?" "I think I just like God for now, since I don't think I trust Him yet." But over time, my heart has been melting and drawing closer and closer to Him. I am reminded to:" Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength." (Deut 6:5)
I read this so many times before in church and didn't take it seriously. I took other things serioulsy like Jesus dying for my sins, being forgiven for our sins, and Jesus defeating death. But the other things as simple as God's love, loving others, helping the needy and orphans, I didn't grasp it fully until now. I mean if I rely on God, pray to him, talk to him, go to him for certain things, wouldn't that mean I trust him? Wouldn't that mean that I care about his presence he has in my life? Wouldn't that mean that leads to a friendship and a bond out of love? Isn't this called...trust?
I soon came to understand because I know his promises.
"24See that what you have heard from the beginning remains in you. If it does, you also will remain in the Son and in the Father. 25And this is what he promised us-eternal life." -1 John 2:24-25
My heart is changing and I am learning more and more about my Father. What a month! What a day; oh happy day.
I feel that I am drawing closer to God more and more each day than before. I'm in awe by how little I have been walking towards God but it has made a huge difference already.
So far, Celebrate Recovery has been healing me bit by bit that just by revealing my sins, my troubles, and my thoughts into the light to other people who are going through the same thing, makes the weight on my heart and soul so much lighter.
My heart was heavy last night though. I started remembering my past a little bit and thought that I don't ever want to be casted out away from God. I don't want to be alone and without Him. The thought brings me to tears because now, I really cannot continue my day with peace if I don't acknowledge God first.
I honestly have thought before, "Do I love God enough as much as He loves me?" "I think I just like God for now, since I don't think I trust Him yet." But over time, my heart has been melting and drawing closer and closer to Him. I am reminded to:" Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength." (Deut 6:5)
I read this so many times before in church and didn't take it seriously. I took other things serioulsy like Jesus dying for my sins, being forgiven for our sins, and Jesus defeating death. But the other things as simple as God's love, loving others, helping the needy and orphans, I didn't grasp it fully until now. I mean if I rely on God, pray to him, talk to him, go to him for certain things, wouldn't that mean I trust him? Wouldn't that mean that I care about his presence he has in my life? Wouldn't that mean that leads to a friendship and a bond out of love? Isn't this called...trust?
I soon came to understand because I know his promises.
"24See that what you have heard from the beginning remains in you. If it does, you also will remain in the Son and in the Father. 25And this is what he promised us-eternal life." -1 John 2:24-25
My heart is changing and I am learning more and more about my Father. What a month! What a day; oh happy day.