(no subject)
So I am again at loss for better words and better topics. Shoot me. I have better things to do with my life and yet here I am drowning a rainy mundane Saturday night with the sleek slight sophistication and no-fail air conditioning of Netopia Makati branch. Ah. One of the most favorite parts of Manila apart from the scary pick-pockets infested area of Baclaran. Baclaran screams of lower middle class life, and Makati screams of books. Books, books and more books.
Foolish of me to even add the term "books." For the past days I have been trying to revert to my old ways of comfortably settling with a book when the humdrum of the afternoons slice through me like lead going through the veins, and yet I am not even starting on anything. Oh, at least I was able to finish Lord of the Flies after a good humiliating 13 weeks. Finally. I don't want to think that I still haven't adapted to my current routines but it's just so hard to fit in things when you're just aiming at nothing. They're like New Year Resolutions when all you wanted is for Santa to just take them before you ever get the chance to pull an attempt at making them come true for the next 23 hours after twelve. Spare you the pain of even attempting.
In the middle of Ger's driving this afternoon I had the impulse to again send an sms to a friend I recently reconciled with. I asked when the next schedule of their mountain trekking would be. "Today," she replied. I held on to my phone, remembering the good money I paid it with. Irritation still kills me. Of course it was a perfectly logical answer, but I was hoping she'd at least answer with another schedule apart from today. I wanted to climb a mountain, goddamnit. I wanted to stretch my body on the sandy shores of any beach and possibly sleep there. I want to recharge. But I didn't answer anymore. She might blog about it somewhere and make it seem I gave different answers again.
Oh, yeah. You bitch. I read about that. Don't make it seem like they were my words. I would have made it more sarcastic if they were mine.
Anyhow, I tried keeping a checklist of things to accomplish at least in the near future. A password protected online organazer which I was able to successfully launch except I wasn't able to keep up-to-date. A blog with better and current updates, and more precise wordings and descriptions. More books. Long delayed pet projects. More gigs to go to. More piss-drunk sessions with anybody willing. Climb a mountain. Hug a tree.
So far, success rate as of today: 29%, and only because I made it successfully here in Makati just to attend Tani's production's anniversary gig.
Oh, I forgot some things: reinvent life. And stick to better decisions. Stop hurting people if I can't owe up to them.
Wow. That makes the success rate just flunk down to 5%. /////
Foolish of me to even add the term "books." For the past days I have been trying to revert to my old ways of comfortably settling with a book when the humdrum of the afternoons slice through me like lead going through the veins, and yet I am not even starting on anything. Oh, at least I was able to finish Lord of the Flies after a good humiliating 13 weeks. Finally. I don't want to think that I still haven't adapted to my current routines but it's just so hard to fit in things when you're just aiming at nothing. They're like New Year Resolutions when all you wanted is for Santa to just take them before you ever get the chance to pull an attempt at making them come true for the next 23 hours after twelve. Spare you the pain of even attempting.
In the middle of Ger's driving this afternoon I had the impulse to again send an sms to a friend I recently reconciled with. I asked when the next schedule of their mountain trekking would be. "Today," she replied. I held on to my phone, remembering the good money I paid it with. Irritation still kills me. Of course it was a perfectly logical answer, but I was hoping she'd at least answer with another schedule apart from today. I wanted to climb a mountain, goddamnit. I wanted to stretch my body on the sandy shores of any beach and possibly sleep there. I want to recharge. But I didn't answer anymore. She might blog about it somewhere and make it seem I gave different answers again.
Oh, yeah. You bitch. I read about that. Don't make it seem like they were my words. I would have made it more sarcastic if they were mine.
Anyhow, I tried keeping a checklist of things to accomplish at least in the near future. A password protected online organazer which I was able to successfully launch except I wasn't able to keep up-to-date. A blog with better and current updates, and more precise wordings and descriptions. More books. Long delayed pet projects. More gigs to go to. More piss-drunk sessions with anybody willing. Climb a mountain. Hug a tree.
So far, success rate as of today: 29%, and only because I made it successfully here in Makati just to attend Tani's production's anniversary gig.
Oh, I forgot some things: reinvent life. And stick to better decisions. Stop hurting people if I can't owe up to them.
Wow. That makes the success rate just flunk down to 5%. /////