(no subject)
07.08.2005
10:24:25
Wyl ur in d proces of finding urself knw dat i see u nd ur real.roles we play sumday wil end,ur ryt abt dat.wat wil remain is this.d lives uv intrsectd with,d truth insyd urself,nd d struggle 2 b seen wen u urself r blind.il kip u real insyd me so be free 2 b lost.its okay.
> Wow. Thank you. That's a very comforting thought. :'-)
10:28:03
Try 2 slp na.il b ur witness ü
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I met Tina over the net almost two years ago when I checked her site upon my then gig-mate Phanie's recommendation. She's good in blogging, she claims. She's a batchmate, and almost always blogs with psychological points. Being the Psych sucker that I was, I immediately checked her out, but at that time, all I read about was her rants about her then girlfriend.
Not entirely too enticing.
"She's a...lesbian?" I gingerly asked Phanie. Indeed she was. Oh. I read her blog again, this time with more curiosity, and then months after that, we finally met each other over a psych session at Starbucks, Emerald Ave. Soon, it became a regular tryst.
Over time she proved to be one of the more sensible people in my life. Once I hated her for a research paper she wrote after me, but then I realized that (although she's claiming what she wrote were strictly clinical) they were still HER view of me, I couldn't really do much about that. Now I don't mind having her look over me like a subject for one of her psychological theories, yet as much as she tries she every now and then tumbles over the line of friendship and genuinely (I think) counsels me not as a counselor must but as a friend applying psychological viewpoints every now and then.
I value her so much. Everytime I arrive at crossroads, it's her I call up to confer; it's her take on views that I listen to wholeheartedly. The last time I met her I just had to give her a tight hug, almost not wanting to let go; thankful for her existence in my life.
Last Saturday she was one of those people who received a call from me when my body lay tiredly on the sofa at our office's pantry. People with Manila lines. I was just so depressed, I went on updating myself on the better happenings of other people's lives. I thought they would cheer me up. They didn't. Tina just told me to rest. Keep your hands to yourself, she even kidded. The rest of the day I tried covering up the gloom by faking a smile. It worked like a charm.
Yesterday, I received those mesages I typed above from her. She didn't know I actually cried upon receiving it.
Why? Because I realized that despite my cynical view of things, no matter how much I deny it, I still have keepers around. Jace, Mark, Ger, and countless of other people who, undeniably, have at least a little concern for me. If I get lost along the way, I'd find myself by revisiting my pieces with them.
Then there are people like Tina, who'd offer to keep a huge part of me while I get my self lost.
So yes, people still care. I think that's good enough for me.
----------------------------------
I opened our cabinet's doors and stared gingerly at the three white bottles boastfully looking down on me: meet Daily Multi-vitamin Mineral, Vitamin C, and Central-Vite. They have been there for a long time and my father has been encouraging me to utilize them, really. But knowing my body's reaction to drugs, I never dared.
This morning, I saw blood after I coughed. No, it's not Tuberculosis. My throat's irritated, it's spurting blood.
That's it. Maybe I should start entertaining those capsules inside my body.
10:24:25
Wyl ur in d proces of finding urself knw dat i see u nd ur real.roles we play sumday wil end,ur ryt abt dat.wat wil remain is this.d lives uv intrsectd with,d truth insyd urself,nd d struggle 2 b seen wen u urself r blind.il kip u real insyd me so be free 2 b lost.its okay.
> Wow. Thank you. That's a very comforting thought. :'-)
10:28:03
Try 2 slp na.il b ur witness ü
----------------------------------
I met Tina over the net almost two years ago when I checked her site upon my then gig-mate Phanie's recommendation. She's good in blogging, she claims. She's a batchmate, and almost always blogs with psychological points. Being the Psych sucker that I was, I immediately checked her out, but at that time, all I read about was her rants about her then girlfriend.
Not entirely too enticing.
"She's a...lesbian?" I gingerly asked Phanie. Indeed she was. Oh. I read her blog again, this time with more curiosity, and then months after that, we finally met each other over a psych session at Starbucks, Emerald Ave. Soon, it became a regular tryst.
Over time she proved to be one of the more sensible people in my life. Once I hated her for a research paper she wrote after me, but then I realized that (although she's claiming what she wrote were strictly clinical) they were still HER view of me, I couldn't really do much about that. Now I don't mind having her look over me like a subject for one of her psychological theories, yet as much as she tries she every now and then tumbles over the line of friendship and genuinely (I think) counsels me not as a counselor must but as a friend applying psychological viewpoints every now and then.
I value her so much. Everytime I arrive at crossroads, it's her I call up to confer; it's her take on views that I listen to wholeheartedly. The last time I met her I just had to give her a tight hug, almost not wanting to let go; thankful for her existence in my life.
Last Saturday she was one of those people who received a call from me when my body lay tiredly on the sofa at our office's pantry. People with Manila lines. I was just so depressed, I went on updating myself on the better happenings of other people's lives. I thought they would cheer me up. They didn't. Tina just told me to rest. Keep your hands to yourself, she even kidded. The rest of the day I tried covering up the gloom by faking a smile. It worked like a charm.
Yesterday, I received those mesages I typed above from her. She didn't know I actually cried upon receiving it.
Why? Because I realized that despite my cynical view of things, no matter how much I deny it, I still have keepers around. Jace, Mark, Ger, and countless of other people who, undeniably, have at least a little concern for me. If I get lost along the way, I'd find myself by revisiting my pieces with them.
Then there are people like Tina, who'd offer to keep a huge part of me while I get my self lost.
So yes, people still care. I think that's good enough for me.
----------------------------------
I opened our cabinet's doors and stared gingerly at the three white bottles boastfully looking down on me: meet Daily Multi-vitamin Mineral, Vitamin C, and Central-Vite. They have been there for a long time and my father has been encouraging me to utilize them, really. But knowing my body's reaction to drugs, I never dared.
This morning, I saw blood after I coughed. No, it's not Tuberculosis. My throat's irritated, it's spurting blood.
That's it. Maybe I should start entertaining those capsules inside my body.