“Bring me this or something better.”
A good friend of mine would say this when she was pursuing something new.
It’s so easy to get tunnel vision when you want something, when it means so much to you and it feels like if you don’t get it, it will be the end of the world - or at least, the end of that dream. That you will be broken.
Several years ago, I had a pretty amazing job opportunity. It was LITERALLY the one job in the whole world that I could have dreamed of having. And I was told about it by the one person I’d always wanted to work with. It seemed as if the planets aligned, the universe was finally smiling down at me and I was going to finally get what I wanted and my life would have purpose, my life would be good.
I didn’t get it. I didn’t even get a call for an interview. I was devastated. I was broken. I spun out on a horrible nervous breakdown that I never quite dealt with properly. If I had, I might actually be in a better place to deal with my constant failures today.
I do my best to remember that if I had gotten that job, I wouldn’t have been at my current one two years ago. My co-worker wouldn’t have reached out to me to see if I was interested in writing a Joss Whedon biography. And I wouldn’t have pushed off into this amazing, stressful, exciting and heartbreaking adventure.
I have learned so much about Joss, about myself, and about the people in my life. I’ve had so many headrushes of giddy glee when someone tells me a story about Joss that has never been in print before. I’ve had so many moments of gratefulness and honor, when someone shared with me - a person they do not know - their thoughts and feelings that I know will inspire the readers of my book.
It is so hard to see past the devastation and heartbreak when we don’t get what we want. To see that what we *want* is not always the thing that we *need* - and it’s not always the thing that we need to get.
I wish for you all the 2013 that you want, but moreso, I wish for you the 2013 of better things that right now, you can’t even imagine.
It’s so easy to get tunnel vision when you want something, when it means so much to you and it feels like if you don’t get it, it will be the end of the world - or at least, the end of that dream. That you will be broken.
Several years ago, I had a pretty amazing job opportunity. It was LITERALLY the one job in the whole world that I could have dreamed of having. And I was told about it by the one person I’d always wanted to work with. It seemed as if the planets aligned, the universe was finally smiling down at me and I was going to finally get what I wanted and my life would have purpose, my life would be good.
I didn’t get it. I didn’t even get a call for an interview. I was devastated. I was broken. I spun out on a horrible nervous breakdown that I never quite dealt with properly. If I had, I might actually be in a better place to deal with my constant failures today.
I do my best to remember that if I had gotten that job, I wouldn’t have been at my current one two years ago. My co-worker wouldn’t have reached out to me to see if I was interested in writing a Joss Whedon biography. And I wouldn’t have pushed off into this amazing, stressful, exciting and heartbreaking adventure.
I have learned so much about Joss, about myself, and about the people in my life. I’ve had so many headrushes of giddy glee when someone tells me a story about Joss that has never been in print before. I’ve had so many moments of gratefulness and honor, when someone shared with me - a person they do not know - their thoughts and feelings that I know will inspire the readers of my book.
It is so hard to see past the devastation and heartbreak when we don’t get what we want. To see that what we *want* is not always the thing that we *need* - and it’s not always the thing that we need to get.
I wish for you all the 2013 that you want, but moreso, I wish for you the 2013 of better things that right now, you can’t even imagine.