(no subject)
all day at work today i was tempted to explode at the customers for no real reason. i'd ask someone if they wanted a bag or a bucket of popcorn, and if they said "What?" like a moron i really wanted to scream at them.
misplaced aggression, that.
when i was in third grade i brought a mask of an old man to school with me because i would do anything for a little bit of attention. in a moment of random boyish recklessness i said to a young lass, i said, "look! i'm your dad!"
little did i know that her father was, in fact, dead. thus her screaming, teary eyed reaction seemed a bit over the top, to me. i mean, shit, i wasn't even making any sense.
when the teacher told me the deal, i felt pretty fucking bad. i walked over to the girl and whispered into her ear, "i'm very sorry, i didn't know" and she nodded and i left it at that.
the look on her face was perhaps the worst look i've ever seen on anyone's face, before or since. i can still remember it.
when people apologise, they do it for themselves. the person they are apologising to does not feel better, they recieve no benefit, they don't fucking care if you are sorry or not. people apologise to make the other person think more highly of them, despite their transgression, whatever it may be.
i think people should fuck all of this apologising shit. it's so redundant. i'm not going to think less of you because of what you did unless you actually meant to cause me harm by doing it. in that case, i will probably think less of you to some degree no matter what you say afterwards. why the fuck do people keep apologising?
two years later, in 5th grade, i was reading "Wayside School Gets a Little Stranger" when i wrote this same girl a note asking her to go out with me. if you look at my copy of said book, you'll see the words, "answer my note" pencilled in childish handwriting. i never considered that her look of utter disgust at my proposal may have been due to my transgression of two years earlier...not until just now.
speaking of childish note writing, in 3rd grade i wrote a note to a girl that actually had the little boxes that said 'yes' or 'no'. what a fucked up kid, i betcha. she didn't want to go out with me. she told me her parents said she was too young to have a boyfriend. my reaction to that was..."So what?". Decline still, she did.
a week or so later she started dating a friend of mine.
can you dig that shit, baby?
i had guts though, until i got to middle school.
i'll be damned if i was going to let something like parents' fictional objections to boyz, or making fun of a girl's dead father, get in the way of my crushes, dammit!
misplaced aggression, that.
when i was in third grade i brought a mask of an old man to school with me because i would do anything for a little bit of attention. in a moment of random boyish recklessness i said to a young lass, i said, "look! i'm your dad!"
little did i know that her father was, in fact, dead. thus her screaming, teary eyed reaction seemed a bit over the top, to me. i mean, shit, i wasn't even making any sense.
when the teacher told me the deal, i felt pretty fucking bad. i walked over to the girl and whispered into her ear, "i'm very sorry, i didn't know" and she nodded and i left it at that.
the look on her face was perhaps the worst look i've ever seen on anyone's face, before or since. i can still remember it.
when people apologise, they do it for themselves. the person they are apologising to does not feel better, they recieve no benefit, they don't fucking care if you are sorry or not. people apologise to make the other person think more highly of them, despite their transgression, whatever it may be.
i think people should fuck all of this apologising shit. it's so redundant. i'm not going to think less of you because of what you did unless you actually meant to cause me harm by doing it. in that case, i will probably think less of you to some degree no matter what you say afterwards. why the fuck do people keep apologising?
two years later, in 5th grade, i was reading "Wayside School Gets a Little Stranger" when i wrote this same girl a note asking her to go out with me. if you look at my copy of said book, you'll see the words, "answer my note" pencilled in childish handwriting. i never considered that her look of utter disgust at my proposal may have been due to my transgression of two years earlier...not until just now.
speaking of childish note writing, in 3rd grade i wrote a note to a girl that actually had the little boxes that said 'yes' or 'no'. what a fucked up kid, i betcha. she didn't want to go out with me. she told me her parents said she was too young to have a boyfriend. my reaction to that was..."So what?". Decline still, she did.
a week or so later she started dating a friend of mine.
can you dig that shit, baby?
i had guts though, until i got to middle school.
i'll be damned if i was going to let something like parents' fictional objections to boyz, or making fun of a girl's dead father, get in the way of my crushes, dammit!