A Failed Seeker

[popeguss]

So, I find myself in a bit of a bad place once again. Nothing serious, just a need to feel like I'm appreciated for what I do. Underappreciation is the name of the game, and I've just realized suddenly what kind of organization I work for. No offense to those out there who are high school dropouts (my father, if I'm not mistaken being one of them), but goddamn people get your degree or stop waxing intellectual. A colleague of mine recently leaned over and whispered while we were at a meeting "Since when did she become our spokesperson?" She can pack a mean pound of chicken salad and really work fast, but when it comes to communication or getting an idea across, it can be boiled down to "I love Whole Foods, I've memorized the gig book and I'm a fucking retard who knows exactly what rhetoric to let dribble out of my gaping pie hole of a mouth". Now, don't get me wrong, I love retards. They're cool people. If they know their place. Take one of our dishwashers for example. When he comes up to me with his gigantic smile that smacks of a complete lack of cognitive capacity, I fucking revel in it. He's a cool person and his life couldn't be any shittier. But, he says "fuck 'em all, Guss...I don't take any shit from these people. They tell me something and I just ignore them." Thank God...really for people like that. But, the fact that the leadership (and equipment) in my department consists of (in no particular order): 1 team leader hell bent on making everyone miserable with her incessant micromanaging skills, and complete lack of any knowledge of how anything really works. 1 assistant team leader who is a damn nice guy but a really bad character actor reminiscent of one of those middle aged men who likes to do community theatre and is completely stressed out to the point of smoking copious amounts of marijuana just to cope with the severe shortage of working appliances in our kitchen, which isn't really a kitchen to begin with, I mean it technically has an oven, and a stove, but I'll be goddamned if for the last year and a half I've been there that oven has been capable of performing its duties of cooking food at a steady temperature for no more than 15% of that time. The other 85% it is in disrepair, abused misuse to where we have to on a constant basis figure out how to cook a fucking chicken to done without using it. And, if we by some miracle of jerry rigging ghetto engineering magnificence, we get it to work for a total of two days at a time, those two days will be the two days where we have no and I mean no food whatsoever to cook in the thing. 2 front end supervisors who are nothing but yes men, but I have to give it to the kid my age. He sure is a cool person. I think I could see him actually doing something right with this department for once. The other one, who lacks a sense of humor whatsoever (which is why I think he gets along with the TL so well, her sense of humor being that of a nazi gestapo agent who has been constipated for the past week and who just found out his great great uncle twice removed is a Jew). He's a fuckass of the first degree. Funny how it all works out, really.

But, it just makes me really resentful of my position in this great cosmic game of Russian roulette And, please there is no need to comment and tell me to "do something about it", because if you think I have not thought of that before, you're wrong It's not that I don't want to do anything about my shit luck, it's just that I'd rather see how far I can be pushed Because, these people I work for are becoming dumber by the minute, nay second How does one listen with any respect to these dregs of society? Am I just too conceited to really appreciate what they're saying? Is the recession finally getting to me? Have I lost whatever faith in humanity I had left? It truly is a scary time to be living God bless those hippies who thought they had it rough, they sure left us a shit storm laced with lsd dreams and opium freakouts (deliberately reversed)

yr. friend,
Guss