Turning gray on me.
Ever have one of those days that you wish you could bottle up forever, and sip on eternally like the finest, smoothest scotch to ever touch your lips? I have and, I've often wondered why the human psyche acts the way it does. Misjudging, misguiding and keeping the owner of the mind relatively in the dark. Totally unaware of what's actually going on in the rest of the world. We're not necessarily islands, but I'm certain that we're peninsulas, and that the connection we have to the outside world isn't the strongest most well put together conduit that it could be.
Like a million Christmas tree pine needles, sometimes I wish I could pick up days and relive them forever. Perhaps that is what is wrong with humanity. We have memories. Memories make us the most depressed, most confused. What if we were to live solely in the moment at hand? We would have no anxieties, no preparation at all to worry about. Reminiscing about the past, thinking about things we miss, things we never really wanted to ever change have. We grow up, we get bitter. Slowly we die inside. Sickening how things work, no?
Things change so rapidly that we never notice them, and then when it happens, we're so blindsided by it, like a silver flash of gofuckyourself that we're that much more flabbergasted. Weeks become days become hours become minutes become seconds and that high that you felt is gone forever. Nothing like that first inhale, that first rail or bump or piece of blotter. Why is that? Why can't the next be that much more intense than the last? Why can't days get better, things get better? Why is everything we do maintenance? Why can't things be improved instead? I'd like to actually accomplish something worthwhile for once, but all I see is the same routine everyday. 26 chickens, 60 pounds of breastmeat. I'm missing an ingredient. I get frustrated, silent and I want to end it all.
I miss what I can never get back and that's what hurts the most.
yr. friend,
Guss
Like a million Christmas tree pine needles, sometimes I wish I could pick up days and relive them forever. Perhaps that is what is wrong with humanity. We have memories. Memories make us the most depressed, most confused. What if we were to live solely in the moment at hand? We would have no anxieties, no preparation at all to worry about. Reminiscing about the past, thinking about things we miss, things we never really wanted to ever change have. We grow up, we get bitter. Slowly we die inside. Sickening how things work, no?
Things change so rapidly that we never notice them, and then when it happens, we're so blindsided by it, like a silver flash of gofuckyourself that we're that much more flabbergasted. Weeks become days become hours become minutes become seconds and that high that you felt is gone forever. Nothing like that first inhale, that first rail or bump or piece of blotter. Why is that? Why can't the next be that much more intense than the last? Why can't days get better, things get better? Why is everything we do maintenance? Why can't things be improved instead? I'd like to actually accomplish something worthwhile for once, but all I see is the same routine everyday. 26 chickens, 60 pounds of breastmeat. I'm missing an ingredient. I get frustrated, silent and I want to end it all.
I miss what I can never get back and that's what hurts the most.
yr. friend,
Guss