Saturday the 14th
How the 13th is always the bad day? 13 is my lucky number. 14 on the other hand...that's a bitch. Granted my tire could have begun deflating at 11:59 PM, Friday, October 13. But, I like thinking that it held on by a thread. Then, BAM! Well, more like "pppssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss", slowly releasing its air like a bunch of gay men in a chorus saying "yes?" So, anyway I walk downstairs, fully stoked about my day at work because I love saturday morning shifts. They make me feel human. "What the fuck is that loud noise eminating from the car? It must be my engine fucking up, Jesus I hope it's not the fucking timing chain! Oh, NO! It's a fucking flat tire and the fucking motherfucking hubfuckingcap is missing too. Fuck!" And, actually I think I cleaned up the language for the entry just now. But, aside from that today it's been relatively quiet. I'll still be going to hammond for the recording/rehearsal stuff. At least I hope.
God has a funny way of shooting me down. It's always at the wire. And, to top it off it's always after I tell people about my new exciting position. "Hey, I'll be chicken cook." Yea, that fell through. "Jeff (Guss), what are you doing for fall break?" They say. "well," I say "I'm going to Hammond to Kevin's Grandpa's farm so that we can start working on our album and see where it takes us." "Sounds awesome dude!" They say, giving me their nods of approval and smiles of appreciation for what I am. It always makes me feel like shit when I have to tell them "I didn't get to do _____________ because_____________" Whatever runs this world has a way of providing just enough hope. It gives to me the feeling of invincibility, the feeling of happiness, the feeling that maybe, just maybe this one time, I'll be okay. And, I'll mean that I'm okay. I won't sigh and shake me head negatively when people ask me how I'm doing, lying through my teeth and telling them I'm doin' fine. How's the wife and kids, bubba? Good to hear. But, not once have I ever looked forward to something and something hasn't gone wrong. Sure makes a person feel depressed. It's whoever's way of saying "hold on there chief, this shit ain't easy...watch" And, then snatch. Ever want to cry so hard that you forget to breathe? It happens to us all I'm sure. But, Goddamn I just wish once something I am looking forward to would actually happen and not be fucked up. We're the tragic heroes, failing at every turn and encountering 6 foot high dams, staring us in the face while a fucker in the back with (insert something here to represent those that have but do not help) their ATV's yelling "Good Luck." as they speed off. Every dog has his day. Yea, try telling that to the one who just got his nuts chopped off in the vet's office.
yr. friend,
Guss
God has a funny way of shooting me down. It's always at the wire. And, to top it off it's always after I tell people about my new exciting position. "Hey, I'll be chicken cook." Yea, that fell through. "Jeff (Guss), what are you doing for fall break?" They say. "well," I say "I'm going to Hammond to Kevin's Grandpa's farm so that we can start working on our album and see where it takes us." "Sounds awesome dude!" They say, giving me their nods of approval and smiles of appreciation for what I am. It always makes me feel like shit when I have to tell them "I didn't get to do _____________ because_____________" Whatever runs this world has a way of providing just enough hope. It gives to me the feeling of invincibility, the feeling of happiness, the feeling that maybe, just maybe this one time, I'll be okay. And, I'll mean that I'm okay. I won't sigh and shake me head negatively when people ask me how I'm doing, lying through my teeth and telling them I'm doin' fine. How's the wife and kids, bubba? Good to hear. But, not once have I ever looked forward to something and something hasn't gone wrong. Sure makes a person feel depressed. It's whoever's way of saying "hold on there chief, this shit ain't easy...watch" And, then snatch. Ever want to cry so hard that you forget to breathe? It happens to us all I'm sure. But, Goddamn I just wish once something I am looking forward to would actually happen and not be fucked up. We're the tragic heroes, failing at every turn and encountering 6 foot high dams, staring us in the face while a fucker in the back with (insert something here to represent those that have but do not help) their ATV's yelling "Good Luck." as they speed off. Every dog has his day. Yea, try telling that to the one who just got his nuts chopped off in the vet's office.
yr. friend,
Guss