my baby is gone
Mudge was put down to rest on Friday.
I got the call on Saturday afternoon.
Every time I have gotten stoned in the past 2 weeks I have had an anxiety attack. It only happened when I was stoned - until Saturday when I found out that Mudge had passed away. There was nothing out of the ordinary in my body on Saturday except for an unexplainable sadness. I was fine, Lindsey left - everything was normal....until I read the email my mom sent me about what had happened with Mudge. I cried for two hours and exhausted myself that I fell asleep until 7pm. I woke up, watched the game, cleaned, cried, stressed, cried, cooked a few things, tried to distract my mind with mindless TV. I don't know what is happening to me but it feels like I am no longer in control of myself. Like I can't make anything change anymore.
the hardest part? I am sitting on my bed at home - I keep glancing at the doorway, expecting him to meander through the doorway, tail wagging. The first time in my entire life that we have not had an animal in the house. I miss him.
I got the call on Saturday afternoon.
Every time I have gotten stoned in the past 2 weeks I have had an anxiety attack. It only happened when I was stoned - until Saturday when I found out that Mudge had passed away. There was nothing out of the ordinary in my body on Saturday except for an unexplainable sadness. I was fine, Lindsey left - everything was normal....until I read the email my mom sent me about what had happened with Mudge. I cried for two hours and exhausted myself that I fell asleep until 7pm. I woke up, watched the game, cleaned, cried, stressed, cried, cooked a few things, tried to distract my mind with mindless TV. I don't know what is happening to me but it feels like I am no longer in control of myself. Like I can't make anything change anymore.
the hardest part? I am sitting on my bed at home - I keep glancing at the doorway, expecting him to meander through the doorway, tail wagging. The first time in my entire life that we have not had an animal in the house. I miss him.