SEIZE THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION first draft
SEIZE THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION
A series of articles on producing your own foods, commodities, and performing your own labor with dignity, intelligence, and POPULIST RAGE
by Pope Crunch
I: Ginger Ale
BROTHERS AND SISTERS! When was the last time you enjoyed ginger ale that was made from only natural ingredients, with no high fructose corn syrup or preservatives? When was the last time you had the satisfaction and simple pleasure of converting raw material into finished product for your own benefit? No longer need you suffer the indignities of overcarbonated, underflavored pisswater riddled with two chemistry sets' worth of swill!
First you must gather your tools. These are ALL either readily present in almost every kitchen on the planet, or easily accessible either cheaply or free from recycling centers and thrift stores. Throw down the culture of consumerism that urges you to waste your resources on the new and improved when there is nothing wrong with what you have!
YOU WILL NEED:
Measuring cups and spoons, bare minimum 1/4 cup measure and 1/4 teaspoon measure
Empty, clean 2 liter plastic bottle
Grater, box grater ideal but a grater with a fine shred blade will work
Funnel (can be made out of tinfoil or a plastic bag in a pinch)
A bowl
Then, ingredients! These are all also very cheap and none of them overprocessed artificial filth.
YOU WILL NEED:
One cup sugar
Ginger Root (About 2 tablespoons (or 24 1/4 teaspoons), grated)
Juice of one lemon (about 3 tablespoons (or 36 1/4 teaspoons))
Baker's yeast (1/4 teaspoon)
Clean water
First, you must make sure your tools are clean. Just as the stain of greed can turn a good man into the sort of pig who will take food from the mouths of the hungry and shoes from the feet of the working class, bacteria can kill off the yeast you need in order to make a delicious beverage. Using your funnel, put the sugar into the bottle and follow it with the yeast. Leave the funnel stuck into the bottle until you're done and ready to cap the bottle. Shake the bottle to disperse the yeast through the sugar just as we will disperse the ideas of revolution and social change to the minds of the working class.
Place your grated ginger in a bowl. Add the lemon juice and mix well, then pour the mixture into the bottle through the funnel. Put some water in the bowl and slosh it around a bit, pouring the rinsewater into the bottle. Just as change can only happen if every one of us pulls together to topple the regime of profiteering robber barons, the best ginger ale requires all the ginger you can give it. Shake the bottle to mix.
Fill the bottle up to within an inch of the top with clean water, cap securely, and shake to mix. Place in a warm location where it will be undisturbed for at least a full day. Once the ginger ale is ready, the bottle will be hard to the touch and not compress from strong pressure via your hand. Squeeze it to test, just as we will squeeze the throats of the oppressor when we put down our tools and refuse to make cars we will never be allowed to afford and refuse to sweep the floors of ivory towers in whose halls we will never be welcomed as equals. You can filter the finished ginger ale through a tea towel to remove the ginger shreds and yeast sediment if you like, but it will not hurt you and the yeast is a very good source of vitamin B.