self
haven't posted anything in a while...
been a crazy month...
...just kind of gets to the point where there are days, i just don't feel like saying anything on here...
the days extended into a month...
what can i say? it has been crazy, and gets to the point of getting me tired...
...just kind of reflecting on what am i doing with my life? like, really? what am i doing?
i'm in a job that i liked in the beginning, but now with cutbacks and no help....
...just added paperwork, added frustration on calls and just being miserable and unhappy...
...been looking for jobs for a while now...
...just get the usual "thank you for you for the resume, but currently we are not interested, we have your resume on file, blah, blah, blah..."
right now, i should be lucky to have a job when lots of others are hurting and can't find one...
...right now though, the job is having an unhealthy effect on me...
...doing lots of stress eating... sneaking in candy bars and other crap that i haven't eaten in a long, long time...
...i'm smoking cigs like crazy...
..i went from being in shape - losing 70 pounds to gaining back 35 of them, and have a crappy cough to boot...
not happy with myself - i've let myself get to a position i swore i would never put myself into again...
...i've failed...
...old habits, even though they go away for awhile, can sometimes come back to haunt you...
...i know i'll change and get back to where i was....
...but for now, it is tough.
...there is an ice cream and a cigarette calling for me soon.
it'll get better...
...i just have to make it better.
...not today though, not today...
...i'll be back to my old self again. just you see.
i need to do it for my becky.
i need to do it for me...
...it's the only way that her and i will have a long, wonderful life together...
...gotta get my head in the game.
yahtzee.
next roll...
babbled enough...
therapy is done for the night...
been a crazy month...
...just kind of gets to the point where there are days, i just don't feel like saying anything on here...
the days extended into a month...
what can i say? it has been crazy, and gets to the point of getting me tired...
...just kind of reflecting on what am i doing with my life? like, really? what am i doing?
i'm in a job that i liked in the beginning, but now with cutbacks and no help....
...just added paperwork, added frustration on calls and just being miserable and unhappy...
...been looking for jobs for a while now...
...just get the usual "thank you for you for the resume, but currently we are not interested, we have your resume on file, blah, blah, blah..."
right now, i should be lucky to have a job when lots of others are hurting and can't find one...
...right now though, the job is having an unhealthy effect on me...
...doing lots of stress eating... sneaking in candy bars and other crap that i haven't eaten in a long, long time...
...i'm smoking cigs like crazy...
..i went from being in shape - losing 70 pounds to gaining back 35 of them, and have a crappy cough to boot...
not happy with myself - i've let myself get to a position i swore i would never put myself into again...
...i've failed...
...old habits, even though they go away for awhile, can sometimes come back to haunt you...
...i know i'll change and get back to where i was....
...but for now, it is tough.
...there is an ice cream and a cigarette calling for me soon.
it'll get better...
...i just have to make it better.
...not today though, not today...
...i'll be back to my old self again. just you see.
i need to do it for my becky.
i need to do it for me...
...it's the only way that her and i will have a long, wonderful life together...
...gotta get my head in the game.
yahtzee.
next roll...
babbled enough...
therapy is done for the night...