up and down
so a day both good and bad.
Work was pretty 'meh'. Was tired most of the day, not enough restful sleep.
Took off of work early, waiting for a guest who would never arrive...but we never had anything totally planned, so I'll let it slide. Not to mention, that long loooong overdue talk was finally had thus the late arrival, so Ms. Jenny and Mr. Jon are no longer a couple... but neither are she and I, so make of it what you will.
Managed to clean up the house a tiny bit, and watch some Boondocks, regardless.
Following that, an excellent night out at Henry's. Jacob's birthday. We had lots of drinks, hours of good friendly chatting, with Jacob, myself, Joe and Nick. Jenny joined before too long, and we had a good time.
I'm still a little drunk off of it, too. Jenny couldn't quite finish the double bourbon and coke she had ordered, so I did it for her. Lots to drink...
Anyway, following that, a night strolling the park with Jenny as we talked about what had transpired during the day, and the uncertainties that we still face. We held eachother and talked. She said what she always said; that it was a mistake, that it was all just a bad reaction to a confusing situation, she trapped herself in here, she doesn't know how to interpret her feelings, she's going to try to not spend much time with either of us while she feels things out. She can't promise not to see either of us, but she will try to put down that distance. We kissed.
...sadly, I'm pretty sure she went straight from that to Jon's house... so that resolve seems to be entirely too weak. I knew as soon as she said "I dont' want to make any promises I can't keep, so I can't say I wont' spend time with either of you, and I can't say I wont' accidentally fall asleep at one or the other's house."... that I was going to be in trouble... basically, the same situation occurs: Jon and I are competing for her, both constantly are going to shower her with affections and invites hoping to overcome the other. The sole difference being that now at least Jon is aware of my role in all of this. It would then be up to Jenny's resolve to deny us while she decides...and that resolve seems terribly flimsy. So... again, she's pretty much set it up to have two boyfriends... as she once told Jacob, "I wish I could have them both."... that can't happen.I would much prefer she not see either of us; though I would be lonesome, not seeing her at all... good God it would be so much healthier for us all. Really it's the only way this can work... if this got started up again because I was seeing someone else and the idea made you sick...if I can't see anyone else, neither can you. Period.
Well, I'm rambling. Obviously the whole thing has me worried. I dont' want to give up on Jenny, but two hours in, and already she's failed me on this new objective... anyway, back on track...
Got worried when she didnt' call me to tell me she got in okay. Also didn't answer my call (though, in retrospect I realize that her voice mail should pick up after five rings, but it picked up after two, meaning my call was simply rejected). Drove by her house...her car not there? So I drove by the next most likely place...unless Eli just got a new Acura, there she was...
I think, unfortunately, I may have to ask for the promise to be made.
I realize "I would go crazy if I couldn't see either of you." But dammit, I would do it for you... I HAVE done it for you... you need to show us both the same respect and love, or this isnt' going to work.
It's not like this was an accident, like you said "I may accidentally fall asleep over at your guys' places from time to time" This was you, saying you were going home, then consciously driving over to Jon's place, not even half a day after telling him you needed space to decide what you wanted from your life.
... and to be frank, the current behavior shows that you already HAVE gone a little crazy...
I guess I'll figure out what to do when I've sobered up some more.
... but dammit girl, you elated me just to break my heart....
...again...
Work was pretty 'meh'. Was tired most of the day, not enough restful sleep.
Took off of work early, waiting for a guest who would never arrive...but we never had anything totally planned, so I'll let it slide. Not to mention, that long loooong overdue talk was finally had thus the late arrival, so Ms. Jenny and Mr. Jon are no longer a couple... but neither are she and I, so make of it what you will.
Managed to clean up the house a tiny bit, and watch some Boondocks, regardless.
Following that, an excellent night out at Henry's. Jacob's birthday. We had lots of drinks, hours of good friendly chatting, with Jacob, myself, Joe and Nick. Jenny joined before too long, and we had a good time.
I'm still a little drunk off of it, too. Jenny couldn't quite finish the double bourbon and coke she had ordered, so I did it for her. Lots to drink...
Anyway, following that, a night strolling the park with Jenny as we talked about what had transpired during the day, and the uncertainties that we still face. We held eachother and talked. She said what she always said; that it was a mistake, that it was all just a bad reaction to a confusing situation, she trapped herself in here, she doesn't know how to interpret her feelings, she's going to try to not spend much time with either of us while she feels things out. She can't promise not to see either of us, but she will try to put down that distance. We kissed.
...sadly, I'm pretty sure she went straight from that to Jon's house... so that resolve seems to be entirely too weak. I knew as soon as she said "I dont' want to make any promises I can't keep, so I can't say I wont' spend time with either of you, and I can't say I wont' accidentally fall asleep at one or the other's house."... that I was going to be in trouble... basically, the same situation occurs: Jon and I are competing for her, both constantly are going to shower her with affections and invites hoping to overcome the other. The sole difference being that now at least Jon is aware of my role in all of this. It would then be up to Jenny's resolve to deny us while she decides...and that resolve seems terribly flimsy. So... again, she's pretty much set it up to have two boyfriends... as she once told Jacob, "I wish I could have them both."... that can't happen.I would much prefer she not see either of us; though I would be lonesome, not seeing her at all... good God it would be so much healthier for us all. Really it's the only way this can work... if this got started up again because I was seeing someone else and the idea made you sick...if I can't see anyone else, neither can you. Period.
Well, I'm rambling. Obviously the whole thing has me worried. I dont' want to give up on Jenny, but two hours in, and already she's failed me on this new objective... anyway, back on track...
Got worried when she didnt' call me to tell me she got in okay. Also didn't answer my call (though, in retrospect I realize that her voice mail should pick up after five rings, but it picked up after two, meaning my call was simply rejected). Drove by her house...her car not there? So I drove by the next most likely place...unless Eli just got a new Acura, there she was...
I think, unfortunately, I may have to ask for the promise to be made.
I realize "I would go crazy if I couldn't see either of you." But dammit, I would do it for you... I HAVE done it for you... you need to show us both the same respect and love, or this isnt' going to work.
It's not like this was an accident, like you said "I may accidentally fall asleep over at your guys' places from time to time" This was you, saying you were going home, then consciously driving over to Jon's place, not even half a day after telling him you needed space to decide what you wanted from your life.
... and to be frank, the current behavior shows that you already HAVE gone a little crazy...
I guess I'll figure out what to do when I've sobered up some more.
... but dammit girl, you elated me just to break my heart....
...again...