my life
just got off the phone with lauren...
well, we had a long talk about things, since i was not talking to her, cus i felt i needed to get over things, and straighten my mind. well it was like one day of no talking and it was horrible since me and her talk all the time. But she calls me to leave me a message, but like i left phone on so woke me up at 1 ish, so we talked though like, what we are gunna do, and because we stopped talking cus i got too hurt hearing about other guys, cus i seem to be the best friend, who still feelings and has hope of us again, cus times i think we begin like each other to but yea. So we talked about it, and how im having hard time not liking her, since we get along soo well, and she just seems the perfect person to me, since there never is nothing wrong between us. I told her, why i was being dumb, like things she did that made me think she maybe was liking me again, and yea, she explained her way of thinking about things, so i guess it was just me hoping she liked me again like we used to be. Then i talked about, how even if i do get over her, when we get close and talk like best friends, makes me like her again, cus i like who she is soo much, but im being dumb, and should just realize maybe there never is gunna be another us. So i also talked about how if we stop talking i can get over her, but its soo hard to go without talking to her. Then it kinda went into other things the conversation did, about how every girl in my life i tend to like, always becomes my best friend, and how my thinking with things is too mature to others, and im just sick of my life being like this. Me always hurting myself. So i dont know what to do with lauren. If i continue talking to her, i feel like im gunna continue wishing she liked me again, and i keep feeling my head with different thoughts, and i continue to hurt myself. But we are soo close that i dont think i can just say we cant talk no more, cus that way, ill hurt myself too really bad. I dont know no more, im just confused, and hurt, and sick of my life, and the way i think about things. No one seems to think like me, people say the way i act and think are soo great, that it makes me such a great guy, that im soo wonderful, and that i deserve better, and there is a girl waiting for me out there. But this must not be true if, im not great and wonderful enough for them, but i dont know, i thought the way things with me and lauren, were different from my past experiences with other girls, but i guess its just the same repeat, heart break, of my life, i dont know, things are an all time low they feel right now, i cant sleep well, i cant concentrate in school, cant really feel happy.
Confused about my life now, things seemed soo striaght in beginning of May, now they are not no more...
well, we had a long talk about things, since i was not talking to her, cus i felt i needed to get over things, and straighten my mind. well it was like one day of no talking and it was horrible since me and her talk all the time. But she calls me to leave me a message, but like i left phone on so woke me up at 1 ish, so we talked though like, what we are gunna do, and because we stopped talking cus i got too hurt hearing about other guys, cus i seem to be the best friend, who still feelings and has hope of us again, cus times i think we begin like each other to but yea. So we talked about it, and how im having hard time not liking her, since we get along soo well, and she just seems the perfect person to me, since there never is nothing wrong between us. I told her, why i was being dumb, like things she did that made me think she maybe was liking me again, and yea, she explained her way of thinking about things, so i guess it was just me hoping she liked me again like we used to be. Then i talked about, how even if i do get over her, when we get close and talk like best friends, makes me like her again, cus i like who she is soo much, but im being dumb, and should just realize maybe there never is gunna be another us. So i also talked about how if we stop talking i can get over her, but its soo hard to go without talking to her. Then it kinda went into other things the conversation did, about how every girl in my life i tend to like, always becomes my best friend, and how my thinking with things is too mature to others, and im just sick of my life being like this. Me always hurting myself. So i dont know what to do with lauren. If i continue talking to her, i feel like im gunna continue wishing she liked me again, and i keep feeling my head with different thoughts, and i continue to hurt myself. But we are soo close that i dont think i can just say we cant talk no more, cus that way, ill hurt myself too really bad. I dont know no more, im just confused, and hurt, and sick of my life, and the way i think about things. No one seems to think like me, people say the way i act and think are soo great, that it makes me such a great guy, that im soo wonderful, and that i deserve better, and there is a girl waiting for me out there. But this must not be true if, im not great and wonderful enough for them, but i dont know, i thought the way things with me and lauren, were different from my past experiences with other girls, but i guess its just the same repeat, heart break, of my life, i dont know, things are an all time low they feel right now, i cant sleep well, i cant concentrate in school, cant really feel happy.
Confused about my life now, things seemed soo striaght in beginning of May, now they are not no more...