the boy and i are probably getting married this summer. its going to be a very low-key, justice of the peace, get-married-in-jeans affair
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If only you were Vietnamese.... it's customary to give money in Vietnamese culture :P In fact, the bride and groom walk around with a basket and video camera and everyone gets to put in their "donation" and then make a speech...
Or German. It's perfectly acceptable and normal to ask for cash (yes, on the wedding invitation) and most couples do it since they've already established a household together.
I don't think it would be that bad to ask for cash, especially if it's going to be that laid back. Ask someone close to spread the word, don't register.. and maybe give people the option of getting you gift cards. That's what I would do since my boyfriend and I live together and probably have more stuff than anyone we know.
It's generally rude to ask for any kind of gift, cash or otherwise. There's nothing wrong with people giving it to you, but it would be terribly crass to ask for cash.
If people ask you, then that's one thing, but whatever you do, don't mention gifts of any kind on any invitations. Rely on word of mouth. Tell your parents your wishes, and let THEM be the ones to pass the word on.
Never, ever mention gifts on the invitation, in any capacity. Seriously, it's just tacky as hell. And I know that whenever this is mentioned people go "well, I don't think it's tacky", but it's the sort of thing that can and does seriously offend a largish percentage of people. Personally, I love buying wedding gifts, but when gifts are mentioned on the invitation it immediately causes my desire to celebrate the wedding with the couple to drop precipitously; it starts to feel like a gift grab instead of an honest invitation to join a celebration.
Think of it this way: it would be way rude for a guest to put requests for a particular food, adctivity, decoration, or music selection on the RSVP card, yes? It's just as rude to ask for gifts on the invitation. It's expected that the hosts will provide food and entertainment and that the guests will bring gifts, but to demand them of each other in writing is the height of crassness, and will seriously turn off many people.
Q: I am trying to help throw a bridal shower for a cousin, first wedding. She already has everything she needs for the home. How do we word the invitations that money would be appreciated over gifts? They could use the money for their honeymoon as they are paying for their own wedding and it has been very expensive
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If people ask you, then that's one thing, but whatever you do, don't mention gifts of any kind on any invitations. Rely on word of mouth. Tell your parents your wishes, and let THEM be the ones to pass the word on.
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Never, ever mention gifts on the invitation, in any capacity. Seriously, it's just tacky as hell. And I know that whenever this is mentioned people go "well, I don't think it's tacky", but it's the sort of thing that can and does seriously offend a largish percentage of people. Personally, I love buying wedding gifts, but when gifts are mentioned on the invitation it immediately causes my desire to celebrate the wedding with the couple to drop precipitously; it starts to feel like a gift grab instead of an honest invitation to join a celebration.
Think of it this way: it would be way rude for a guest to put requests for a particular food, adctivity, decoration, or music selection on the RSVP card, yes? It's just as rude to ask for gifts on the invitation. It's expected that the hosts will provide food and entertainment and that the guests will bring gifts, but to demand them of each other in writing is the height of crassness, and will seriously turn off many people.
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http://www.topweddingsites.com/wedding_etiquette.html
Scroll down to Wedding Gift Etiquette FAQ:
Q: I am trying to help throw a bridal shower for a cousin, first wedding. She already has everything she needs for the home. How do we word the invitations that money would be appreciated over gifts? They could use the money for their honeymoon as they are paying for their own wedding and it has been very expensive ( ... )
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