Hello Mr. Other Me, it's been a long long time...
"We hardly get to have these chats, that in itself is a crime.
So tell me all your troubles, I'll surely tell you mine.
We'll laugh, and smoke, and cuss, and joke, and have a glass of wine."
Wow, so I just spent about 2 hours going through and reading all of my old lj posts. It's the closest thing I have to a diary. It was interesting to read through all those old posts. It brought back a lot of memories and I was able to find dates for when some pretty significant memories occurred. I also read some funny posts about things I had completely forgotten.
Though I can tell I have changed a whole bunch since the first post in June of '05 there was a reoccurring theme in there that I still struggle with, and which has caused me to make a lot of choices that have led me to where I am. I feel like I have no direction, or purpose. I thought moving to Tampa would help me get my head on straight, and help me find myself, and do a lot of personal good for myself. And in ways it has. I'm learning a platform that I can stand on when I have my own family. And I certainly don't party much, well hardly ever. But as for direction, purpose, and identity- nothing. I still feel just as isolated and confused as I did when I was 16. Isn't that supposed disappear to with age? Where the hell am I going, what am I doing now, and what will I be doing when I get there? Really what I think I'm looking for is wholeness on so many levels.
Maybe I should go volunteer in a third world nation. That seems like the hot ticket.
Fuck the human condition; isolation is not admirable.
So tell me all your troubles, I'll surely tell you mine.
We'll laugh, and smoke, and cuss, and joke, and have a glass of wine."
Wow, so I just spent about 2 hours going through and reading all of my old lj posts. It's the closest thing I have to a diary. It was interesting to read through all those old posts. It brought back a lot of memories and I was able to find dates for when some pretty significant memories occurred. I also read some funny posts about things I had completely forgotten.
Though I can tell I have changed a whole bunch since the first post in June of '05 there was a reoccurring theme in there that I still struggle with, and which has caused me to make a lot of choices that have led me to where I am. I feel like I have no direction, or purpose. I thought moving to Tampa would help me get my head on straight, and help me find myself, and do a lot of personal good for myself. And in ways it has. I'm learning a platform that I can stand on when I have my own family. And I certainly don't party much, well hardly ever. But as for direction, purpose, and identity- nothing. I still feel just as isolated and confused as I did when I was 16. Isn't that supposed disappear to with age? Where the hell am I going, what am I doing now, and what will I be doing when I get there? Really what I think I'm looking for is wholeness on so many levels.
Maybe I should go volunteer in a third world nation. That seems like the hot ticket.
Fuck the human condition; isolation is not admirable.