i just pretended i was a pig....
last night i freeked myself out.
and it might sound crazy but i swear it felt like a spirit calmed me down.
i was at danielles house and my mom had dropped me off and gone home ya know, and it was like 1:30 and we were laying in bed and im just thinking.. hmm my mom didnt call me like she said she would tonight.. oh well... and then i like get this bad feelign something bad happened to her and im like maybe i should call her and im totally just freeking myself out thinking about anything bad that could of happened and how sad and ruined my life would be if i lost my mom. cause i love her sooo freekin much. and i would just want to hug her sooo bad. like i never knew what it would feel like to lose someone you loved and even though i never have i thought last night like i had and i felt terrible when i was thikning about it. so as im thinking these super sad thoughts my phone rings, but its not my mom, its hannah, and so after i hang up with her i call my mom. but something weird is happening. and my phoen wont even ring it just goes to call ended after i dial and stuff. so i try danielles phone and it does the same thing. so by this time im like oh shit. im scared. and it was stupid for me to be scared but just i had this weird feeling going on. and so i try again on my phoen and it does the same thing so i say okay chelsea calm urself down and i just lay there... and try to meditate lol. my mom meditates and it calms her down. so like i swear my body felt like it was tingling alll over and i was just laying there and i got so relaxed and i knew everything was fine. and that my mom was fine and i was fine and everything was just okay. and it was the best feeling, with my body so relaxed and tingling lol. okay i sound like a crazy freek but i had been so freeked out before and then i just calmed down and everything was okay. my mom said when she meditates sometimes she has that relaxing feeling and she thinks its a spirit. so yeah. it was nice when i was relaxed but not so nice before that. and this was a super long entry.ps. i love my mom. and god. and my family. and friends. and whatever calmed me down last night.
and it might sound crazy but i swear it felt like a spirit calmed me down.
i was at danielles house and my mom had dropped me off and gone home ya know, and it was like 1:30 and we were laying in bed and im just thinking.. hmm my mom didnt call me like she said she would tonight.. oh well... and then i like get this bad feelign something bad happened to her and im like maybe i should call her and im totally just freeking myself out thinking about anything bad that could of happened and how sad and ruined my life would be if i lost my mom. cause i love her sooo freekin much. and i would just want to hug her sooo bad. like i never knew what it would feel like to lose someone you loved and even though i never have i thought last night like i had and i felt terrible when i was thikning about it. so as im thinking these super sad thoughts my phone rings, but its not my mom, its hannah, and so after i hang up with her i call my mom. but something weird is happening. and my phoen wont even ring it just goes to call ended after i dial and stuff. so i try danielles phone and it does the same thing. so by this time im like oh shit. im scared. and it was stupid for me to be scared but just i had this weird feeling going on. and so i try again on my phoen and it does the same thing so i say okay chelsea calm urself down and i just lay there... and try to meditate lol. my mom meditates and it calms her down. so like i swear my body felt like it was tingling alll over and i was just laying there and i got so relaxed and i knew everything was fine. and that my mom was fine and i was fine and everything was just okay. and it was the best feeling, with my body so relaxed and tingling lol. okay i sound like a crazy freek but i had been so freeked out before and then i just calmed down and everything was okay. my mom said when she meditates sometimes she has that relaxing feeling and she thinks its a spirit. so yeah. it was nice when i was relaxed but not so nice before that. and this was a super long entry.ps. i love my mom. and god. and my family. and friends. and whatever calmed me down last night.