(no subject)
i actually listened to the lyrics of this song...and i understand it...wowza. lol
crawling in the dark--hoobastank
i will dedicate
and sacrifice my everything
for just a second's worth
of how our story's ending
and i wish i could know
if the directions that i take
and all the choices that i make
wont end up all for nothing
show me what its for
make me understand it
i've been crawling in the dark
looking for the answer
is there something more
than what i've been handed?
i've been crawling in the dark
looking for the answer
help me carry on
assure me its okay to
use my heart and not my eyes
to navigate the darkness
will the ending be
coming ever suddenly?
will i ever get to see
the ending to my story?
show me what its for
make me understand it
i've been crawling in the dark
looking for the answer
is there something more
than what i've been handed?
i've been crawling in the dark
looking for the answer
so when and how will i know?
how much further do i have to go?
and how much longer till i finally know?
cuz im looking and i just cant see
whats in front of me
in front of me
show me what its for
make me understand it
i've been crawling in the dark
looking for the answer
is there something more
than what i've been handed?
i've been crawling in the dark
looking for the answer
anywho...im updating...yall happy? geez now dont tell me to update for another month...lol.
oi im confucked. theres like this little love triangle lol. i dont really wanna say names...so yeh. theres one guy i really like...i mean...its like...way beyond that. he said he likes me too...but...it kinda seems as if he likes everyone. then...theres someone i kinda got a crush on. i mean...i dunno...i like him but at the same time i dont...because of his age...makes it weird. he don like me but meh...still. and THEN theres someone that likes me...from what he says...alot. but...ehh...i just dont feel the same way. i mean dont get me wrong, i love him to death...just...not the same way. arg this sucks...i really need to talk to the first guy...maybe then i'll figure out my feelings for the other two. that was hard to say without using names...lmao
i know this sounds weird...but it seems like...i dont know who i am anymore. i mean i was goin back and readin someone's xanga...and it made me realize. no one knows me...the real me...i dunno maybe theres not really anything more than the shy kid...just trying to stick out and be different. i mean my sense of humor is different so everyone thinks im bonkers. its not like i take that as a bad thing...hell im happy im not like almost everyone else...because almost everyone else is just so...blah. i cant put it into words...but its quite obvious that our society is pretty screwy. everyone wants to be skinny and pretty and yadda yadda yadda. but the truth is theres gotta be someone ugly and fat...thats what makes the beautiful people seem so beautiful. well i guess im just here to be the ugly fat blob huh? i dont mind...i could care less if i were actually pretty...because i dont want someone to like me for that reason. that shouldnt have a damn thing to do with it. thats why i think my net friends are the ones i care about most (in SOME cases...dont flip out yall...geez) they were my friend before they ever saw my pic...and the pics i have of myself dont look like me at all...in my opinion. hell i think the uglier the person is...the better their personality is. usually. but if you're an unlucky fuckling such as myself you're screwed...ugly AND a horrible personality.
oi i guess i should just try to be a better friend...and be there...and listen when people have a problem. i used to be like that but then i got so selfish and didnt care as much when someone needed to vent something out. i wouldnt come right out and tell them that they're annoying me...and that i dont care...but i wouldnt actually sit here and give them my opinion. its because i couldnt stop thinking about my own damn problems. i cant remember what i was gonna say...i just started crying for some reason :| onto other issues...
band. this year should be alot better...it seems like the fishies have alot more respect for...everything...than we did last year. alot of the problem children are kicked out of band *coughdextercough* and thats such a relief. i really hope everyone has as much respect for...everyone...as i do. wow theres somethin i can actually say with confidence...i have ALOT of respect for the directors/DM's/section leaders/entire band program. im not like dexter and other people i know...if im told to do something...i do it...no questions...that just wastes time. you cant try to save your pride by trying to be a smart ass. sure, in another class maybe...but in band...one person ruins it for everyone. let me just say one thing before i move to the next subject: (this is directed toward the band kids readin lol) PLEASE do what you're told instead of throwing a fit...dont screw around and waste time...it may be funny or cute the first time...but after that all you're doing is hurting us. though there was no need to say that considering the few band kids that read this are the few that actually have the respect and consideration they should
oi i cant concentrate on anything. i needa talk to doorknobber when he comes home...or someone that might actually listen. maybe i just needa sit down n cry like i am now. jeeeeeeeezus. imma go now...dont wanna type everything...too much of a procrastinator aint i? bye now...and leave comments!
<3 ...more than you know.
crawling in the dark--hoobastank
i will dedicate
and sacrifice my everything
for just a second's worth
of how our story's ending
and i wish i could know
if the directions that i take
and all the choices that i make
wont end up all for nothing
show me what its for
make me understand it
i've been crawling in the dark
looking for the answer
is there something more
than what i've been handed?
i've been crawling in the dark
looking for the answer
help me carry on
assure me its okay to
use my heart and not my eyes
to navigate the darkness
will the ending be
coming ever suddenly?
will i ever get to see
the ending to my story?
show me what its for
make me understand it
i've been crawling in the dark
looking for the answer
is there something more
than what i've been handed?
i've been crawling in the dark
looking for the answer
so when and how will i know?
how much further do i have to go?
and how much longer till i finally know?
cuz im looking and i just cant see
whats in front of me
in front of me
show me what its for
make me understand it
i've been crawling in the dark
looking for the answer
is there something more
than what i've been handed?
i've been crawling in the dark
looking for the answer
anywho...im updating...yall happy? geez now dont tell me to update for another month...lol.
oi im confucked. theres like this little love triangle lol. i dont really wanna say names...so yeh. theres one guy i really like...i mean...its like...way beyond that. he said he likes me too...but...it kinda seems as if he likes everyone. then...theres someone i kinda got a crush on. i mean...i dunno...i like him but at the same time i dont...because of his age...makes it weird. he don like me but meh...still. and THEN theres someone that likes me...from what he says...alot. but...ehh...i just dont feel the same way. i mean dont get me wrong, i love him to death...just...not the same way. arg this sucks...i really need to talk to the first guy...maybe then i'll figure out my feelings for the other two. that was hard to say without using names...lmao
i know this sounds weird...but it seems like...i dont know who i am anymore. i mean i was goin back and readin someone's xanga...and it made me realize. no one knows me...the real me...i dunno maybe theres not really anything more than the shy kid...just trying to stick out and be different. i mean my sense of humor is different so everyone thinks im bonkers. its not like i take that as a bad thing...hell im happy im not like almost everyone else...because almost everyone else is just so...blah. i cant put it into words...but its quite obvious that our society is pretty screwy. everyone wants to be skinny and pretty and yadda yadda yadda. but the truth is theres gotta be someone ugly and fat...thats what makes the beautiful people seem so beautiful. well i guess im just here to be the ugly fat blob huh? i dont mind...i could care less if i were actually pretty...because i dont want someone to like me for that reason. that shouldnt have a damn thing to do with it. thats why i think my net friends are the ones i care about most (in SOME cases...dont flip out yall...geez) they were my friend before they ever saw my pic...and the pics i have of myself dont look like me at all...in my opinion. hell i think the uglier the person is...the better their personality is. usually. but if you're an unlucky fuckling such as myself you're screwed...ugly AND a horrible personality.
oi i guess i should just try to be a better friend...and be there...and listen when people have a problem. i used to be like that but then i got so selfish and didnt care as much when someone needed to vent something out. i wouldnt come right out and tell them that they're annoying me...and that i dont care...but i wouldnt actually sit here and give them my opinion. its because i couldnt stop thinking about my own damn problems. i cant remember what i was gonna say...i just started crying for some reason :| onto other issues...
band. this year should be alot better...it seems like the fishies have alot more respect for...everything...than we did last year. alot of the problem children are kicked out of band *coughdextercough* and thats such a relief. i really hope everyone has as much respect for...everyone...as i do. wow theres somethin i can actually say with confidence...i have ALOT of respect for the directors/DM's/section leaders/entire band program. im not like dexter and other people i know...if im told to do something...i do it...no questions...that just wastes time. you cant try to save your pride by trying to be a smart ass. sure, in another class maybe...but in band...one person ruins it for everyone. let me just say one thing before i move to the next subject: (this is directed toward the band kids readin lol) PLEASE do what you're told instead of throwing a fit...dont screw around and waste time...it may be funny or cute the first time...but after that all you're doing is hurting us. though there was no need to say that considering the few band kids that read this are the few that actually have the respect and consideration they should
oi i cant concentrate on anything. i needa talk to doorknobber when he comes home...or someone that might actually listen. maybe i just needa sit down n cry like i am now. jeeeeeeeezus. imma go now...dont wanna type everything...too much of a procrastinator aint i? bye now...and leave comments!
<3 ...more than you know.