Broken Heart, Broken Soul

[poopdedoop]

so 20 days after my last post i'm back to square one with myself. Danielle broke up with me today. I never thought that it would mean so much to me but i honestly i cried almost all day. I really don't know what to say about this. She doesn't like how I get depressed. I've been trying my hardest to work on it nad i've been trying my hardest to make her happy and to keep things good between us but my hardest or my best is never enough. I love her so much and I really wish i didn't right now, but it hurts me more wishing that i didn't love her then it does knowing i love her. but the worst of it is loving someone who doesn't love you back. I've given everything for this relationship. I did all i could and Changed so much. Not only for her but for myself too. SHe just gave me something to lookforward to, and i know that when I was happy with myself she was too.

I just really wish i knew how to fix everything that's wrong with me. I hate myself. and It's all because of my depression. And finally i had someone come along who could bring me out of this hole i'm in. she took my hand and walked beside me the whole way.and it was hard for me.. to open up everything but i did.. and now..... I'm crushed. I would do anything for her and I would do anything to get her back...

I was told today that maybe she just needs time to relize that she needs me... i donno its nice to hope that, and i'm praying that she does...but everytime i pray... it's never answered...

I'm just all alone again and broken hearted.