(no subject)
We come from the planet skeetbop, which orbits planet indie-rock, and we're here to claim your womens for our own. You will hand over said womens without recompense, or you will be blasted in the butthole with our mega indie-rock laser. Yes, we wear our hair in frivolous stylings and, yes, our speech is pleonastic and littered with superfluous adjectives. As mentioned, if you do not comply all your buttholes will be ours. Also, give us fruit baskets on demand; That's the in contract somewhere. Okay, so there isn't really a contract yet, but there will be. And you will sign it. Also in the contract are some clauses which you may find quite lucrative and appealing:
If this offer is acceptable, please reply promptly. And if it is not, we will make war with your butts. You will all be converted to skeetbopian culture, and will eventually orbit our newly-created plantet of craprockatronia.
- You will adopt our shaggy-but-not-too-shaggy-oh-so-cool hairdos
- You will wear our style of pink (black available upon request), tight shirts to symbolize your un-homophobness (studded belts are optional)
- You will dub each other mix tapes (cd's if you are technology-savvy) of low-fidelity music with a recording budget of no greater than $2
- You will "go to shows" of bands that all sound the same
- You will rave about how great these bands are, but only after gauging responses from other converted earthlings
- You will wear glasses with fake lenses to look sophisticated and deep
If this offer is acceptable, please reply promptly. And if it is not, we will make war with your butts. You will all be converted to skeetbopian culture, and will eventually orbit our newly-created plantet of craprockatronia.
- end transmission