numb . comfort, whats the difference?

[poonnoog]

My life is getting better by the second (i'm being deeply sarcastic.) I think if every aspect of my life is going to shit.. love - work - play - family... whatever else, in someway its just that old phrase "The shit hits the fan" or maybe I'm supposed to do myself in but for some religious reasons I believe that if I slit my wrists or toss a

Comments

[poonnoog]

obviously i want and need help or else i wouldn't write this kind of shit in my journal... look i know it seems like i don't know what i wan't and your right i really don't know anymore except that i need to drasticly change my life... you can't say i don't do anything to help you. if you sit and think about it a little harder you might be able to remember all the things i have done in the past month out of pure good will to make, specificly, you and cliff happy.. i don't need to get into specifics and if you can't figure what those things are then your more skrewed up than me... last night was good for me i didn't get any morphine or valume or anything.. i watched videodrome and then naked lunch and just sort of shook and sweet myself to sleep. i realized that me taking my drugs is only making things worse than they already are and that its only a temporary solution so im stoping for good. i wish you could see through my eyes for five seconds kelsy and maybe you would understand why i am the way i am right now my heads not in my ass its in the clouds and its not coming down anytime soon my mentality has forced me to pull so far away from everthing i can't even feel anything anymore and when i do its all mixed up and backwards as far as sympathy no i don't want your sympathy and if im too much for you to be around than don't be around me i'm better off alone anyways at least for now