Nuff and Poo's Bogus Journey
Well Saturday night Eli and I went down to Bloomington. Eli drove (due to my suspended license)and we had to take my car with no heat. Mind you it was like 15 degrees on Saturday, and a tad warmer than Friday night. We get down there, and I instruct Eli to park in a snow covered parking space. He objected saying there was too much snow or something like that and it was a bad idea. I was like, "No,no its all good, park there." So he did and of course the damn car gets stuck. Apparently there was like afoot of ice under the snow and all the other cars parked on the street were SUV's. So told you so's aside, there we are freezing trying to "dig" the car out using a weightlifting pole I randomly had, and the ice scraper, all the while carloads of college girls are passing us laughing and pointing. Eli is trying to push the car back onto the road while I am slamming down on the gas pedal when I decided that I should put the car in neutral and get out and help him push. What I didn't know was all Pontiac's come with a safety feature that if you shut the door while the car is in gear the doors automatically . I heard that click....that sound and let me tell you there was this feeling of fear and stupidity that rushed over me I haven't felt in years. In the matter of 15 minutes I managed to lock myself out of my stuck car, while the engine was in gear.
(An hour previous Eli and had a now very ironic talk about how one of us needed to break down and buy a cellphone.) We walked to a near buy skateshop, and the guy let me call a locksmith. Perpetually impatient as I am, I go to the nearest house explain our situation and get a coat hanger, skillfully I fashion a small hook on the end, and hand it to Eli (the skill crane master) if either of us was sure- handed enough to trigger the magic door unlock switch it was Eli. To make matter worse every 3 seconds the interior lights go off unless you pull up on the door handle. So in order for Eli to see what he was doing I had to pull up on the door handle. (Anyone who has tried to get in shot-gun knows that if you are pulling up on a door handle while someone else presses the door unlock button it cancels out the unlock and you both go "Wah-wah" and the driver gives you a dirty look). All the while, my toes, which I am sure have frost bite by this time, have long gone numb as well as my face. The car lights is flickering on and off while Eli desperately tries to hit the hanger to the lock and he is cursing the absent locksmith when a white van rolls up. Within 3 seconds he slim-jims the car and charges me 30 bucks. I unlock the passenger door and the hanger effortlessly falls to the snow. Oh yeah, we are still FUCKING STUCK IN THE GODDAMN SNOW!!!
Then, five or six college guys come down the street and offer to help us push the car out. So Eli, and the college guys and me push the car as hard as we can while the locksmith steers from inside the car.
(An hour previous Eli and had a now very ironic talk about how one of us needed to break down and buy a cellphone.) We walked to a near buy skateshop, and the guy let me call a locksmith. Perpetually impatient as I am, I go to the nearest house explain our situation and get a coat hanger, skillfully I fashion a small hook on the end, and hand it to Eli (the skill crane master) if either of us was sure- handed enough to trigger the magic door unlock switch it was Eli. To make matter worse every 3 seconds the interior lights go off unless you pull up on the door handle. So in order for Eli to see what he was doing I had to pull up on the door handle. (Anyone who has tried to get in shot-gun knows that if you are pulling up on a door handle while someone else presses the door unlock button it cancels out the unlock and you both go "Wah-wah" and the driver gives you a dirty look). All the while, my toes, which I am sure have frost bite by this time, have long gone numb as well as my face. The car lights is flickering on and off while Eli desperately tries to hit the hanger to the lock and he is cursing the absent locksmith when a white van rolls up. Within 3 seconds he slim-jims the car and charges me 30 bucks. I unlock the passenger door and the hanger effortlessly falls to the snow. Oh yeah, we are still FUCKING STUCK IN THE GODDAMN SNOW!!!
Then, five or six college guys come down the street and offer to help us push the car out. So Eli, and the college guys and me push the car as hard as we can while the locksmith steers from inside the car.