The Break
I want to go to there.
For the first time in my life I am going on Spring Break.
My family never took springtime vacations when I was growing up and my mom would have hog-tied me in the basement before she would have let me jet off to some boozy tropical location with friends when I was in high school. Although I was a pretty good kid, in reality I probably would have been a prime target for "Girls Gone Wild".
Once in college, the best I ever managed was a last minute trip to Washington DC with my boyfriend where we drove with no plan or purpose to our nation's capitol and basically took pictures in front of any monument that didn't require admission fees. I think we managed a day at the Smithsonian too.
As an adult, Rob and I took the kids on a driving trip to Lake Meade when Kellan was just a baby. I remember it as one of the best trips I've ever taken. Rob claims it was one of the worst he's ever taken. That's perspective for ya. Sadly, my desire to take my kids to see the world is usurped by the immense cost that such endeavors require. That is one of the parts I do regret about having so many kids...they miss out on traveling because of the cost.
In any case, what I mean to say is, I have never been on a real -go to the beach, have fun, no responsibilities- Spring Break vacation.
I am leaving tomorrow with a few friends from the gym to stay at one girls' family beach house in Florida. It'll only be for 5 days, but for 5 days I won't be a mom or a chef or a chauffeur or referee or cruise director.
Rob has taken dozens of guy vacations during our marriage and I'm pretty sure he never worried very much about leaving (of course not - I'm here!!), but honestly - for him it's a lot easier since I've always managed the house and kids, so when he leaves nothing much changes. In my absence there is a lot of note leaving and schedule reviewing that has to occur, and of course, the guilt that comes when sad little arms hug you and say, "But I don't want to be without you."
Being a mom is hard in so many ways. Being selfless is part of the job which is why taking away even a sliver of my time from the kids feels like I am amputating a year from their lives.
I can do this.