(no subject)
i find that being single makes me bitter
and i know im not alone in my bitterness.
everywhere i go, im surrounded with couples, who to me, seem to be from mars.
i look at others' relationships, and the high level of intimacy these people share, and its completely foreign.
my parents are anything but in love, and have fought like cats and dogs my entire life, and to this day.
every relationship i have had has been completely disfunctional.
i dont even know how to go about building relationships anymore. i feel like im doomed to settle, and doomed to force myself to make whatever relationship i end up in work, somehow some way.
i fill that department of my life with pipe dreams, and whine and pine until i cant take it anymore. that way, im unavailable for any new relationship that comes my way, because im stuck on this or stuck on that.
why cant i just be single and not even have a second thought about it?
i dont know. am i doomed to seek out disfunctional people, or doomed to pine over my losses for all eternity?
i am emotionally unavailable. i think i always have been.
how tragic.
not.
all i can do is keep truckin and know that im not even close to being alone in this business.
and i know im not alone in my bitterness.
everywhere i go, im surrounded with couples, who to me, seem to be from mars.
i look at others' relationships, and the high level of intimacy these people share, and its completely foreign.
my parents are anything but in love, and have fought like cats and dogs my entire life, and to this day.
every relationship i have had has been completely disfunctional.
i dont even know how to go about building relationships anymore. i feel like im doomed to settle, and doomed to force myself to make whatever relationship i end up in work, somehow some way.
i fill that department of my life with pipe dreams, and whine and pine until i cant take it anymore. that way, im unavailable for any new relationship that comes my way, because im stuck on this or stuck on that.
why cant i just be single and not even have a second thought about it?
i dont know. am i doomed to seek out disfunctional people, or doomed to pine over my losses for all eternity?
i am emotionally unavailable. i think i always have been.
how tragic.
not.
all i can do is keep truckin and know that im not even close to being alone in this business.