On manifestos & relative values. (less evasively: body image.)

[pookizegreat]

So, amor_remanet made this great post on body image, mostly tied in to her own struggles but with a cameo from a manifesto I posted on Tumblr a while ago in response to a Twitter conversation... the background can be read there. And at the time of the first conversation (Twitter, manifesto, rebuttal & all), she, luthienofold and I had some conversation via e-mail about

Comments

[amor_remanet]

Okay so. I'm going to bother you on AIM after I heat up some dinner (or well, you pinged me first, so I will bother you more coherently after I do the dinner thing) and put on some damn cartoons because Supernatural is really downbeat right now and I dnw. But I want to say: I fucking love this post. And I fucking love you. And I'm not going to fucking lie and say that I'm completely immune to feeling all "what the hell, Igpy's thin and gorgeous, what does she know" because I totally have before. (Not lately, but I have.) I've felt that for you, and for my friends from high school (especially since the two who usually pep-talked me were skinny skinny and v pretty), and even for my best friend, although not lately and not really much at all since one of our talks in my sophomore year about how much she's hated her body before and how much crap she's caught for being perceived as either "too thin" or not thin enough. (For some visuals: this is who I talk about all the time, my better half, the Sam to my Dean, the biggest reason I stayed sane last term. This is her most recent shot that is not friends-locked or similar, and we had a long talk today re: my post, about all sorts of things, including how a lot of people look at her and her boyfriend-I-dislike, and decide she's lucky to be with him, because he looks like this: derp.)

But always, always, always, even though my emotions often get the better of me for a little bit, I know better. When I was in high school, I didn't know better enough, not really, and I was in such a state that seriously nothing my friends ever said penetrated through the self-doubt and self-loathing to have an effect on me. There's one clear memory I have of making some flippant, self-deprecating comment that I meant to be funny because, whatever I said, I just assumed that everybody agreed with me about its (nonexistent) veracity, and then my friend Bryan (who was my first brother from another mother and very much like Tony in several ways. Also, he's a badass) called me on it and questioned me and our friends Beth and Cat joined in, and then a more acquaintancey type of friend showed up, and I had a meltdown for like half-an-hour about how much I didn't like myself, and they all tried so damn hard to get through my head that I was operating on faulty basic assumptions and none of it got through, at least not immediately. Not until, like. Now. When I'm several years on and smarter and wiser and more emotionally stable. But I knew better then, somewhere under it all, and I'm better at knowing better now, and if I'm ever snippy or dismissive of your peptalks, feel free to call me on it but even if you don't, they're getting through somewhere.

Also they might not be magical smiles and dreams and tears all bottled up, but your texts and IMs and tweets and emails make me smile, so. They're worth it to me. SO THERE ♥

and sdfjdshggh, I love you. so fucking much. I wanna hug you. Like physically grip you tight and hold you for some undetermined amount of time. I'm making my friend Laurel come to my room after Rocky auditions so I can hug her in your stead.

[pookizegreat]

(I think her boyfriend is really unattractive. To er. Go against the themes of this post. But. I would pick her in a hot second! Then again I prefer women. Er.)

Mmmmm. Kassie, let's get physical. By which I mean. THANK YOU. ♥

[amor_remanet]

(I think he's unattractive AND a creep, so. Right there with you. His only saving grace is that he knows how much I love her and realizes that if he fucks up and she won't call him on it, I will. With my foot and various tender parts of his body.)

I AM IN. YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME. ♥