(no subject)
you have no idea how easily i could hurt you, but i've never played fair. consider this fair warning: someday, you'll play the villain twice. i'm tired of blank slates. i need a remote - i need to rewind, hit pause, and study everything i've done wrong. i'm not asking for salvation. i'm not asking for martyrdom. i ask the same thing of each person i meet and there's not one person who's been able to give it to me. i thought how nice it would have been yesterday to just drive until my skin peeled off, until i hit icebergs or gulfs, because there is nothing keeping me here. i have a lot of halves that add up to a whole lot of nothing. maybe i'm selfish, but i just need something. i need to be something. worthwhile. worth fighting for. i've never been worth fighting for. just a mistake. i need someone to look at me and say, 'oh, god what a mistake i've made - you know i dont deserve you, but i'm willing to try. god, am i willing to try.' but i'm not holding my breath because you cant miss what you forget.