blah blah blah
so here I am pondering life again....
I'm working- I like my job. Its not glorious, but it pays.
I'm going to school.I like it and seem to be doing well so far.
I have great friends- Gina, Jill, Rachel, Daniele, Danielle>I love you guys!
I have a wonderful dad, a tolerable sister and brother in law, and an amazing nephew!
But I'm not happy!!!!
I'm on medication that's suppose to help my anxiety, but I almost feel like things are worse. I'm sleeping better because of it but that's all it's doing. I feel like something is missing. Like a big part of my life that I just can NOT fill.I'm not sure what it is but i NEED to figure it out fast!The past couple of days I just haven't even felt like talking to or seeing anyone but my daddy. It's like no matter what I do I don't enjoy it. I'm not depressed I don't think, just not happy if that makes any sense.I find myself wondering...is this really what I want to be doing right now?Do I really want to be in school? Do I really want to be working at Children's place? Do I really want to be friends with any of the same people?Am I being the person i need to be?Am I getting anywhere in my life?and can I make it without some of the things and PEOPLE that have fallen by the wayside in the past year?I need something big to happen in my life. a big change. something to rattle the edges a little.something that makes everything else fall into place.I have a feeling of what it might be but we'll see what works out in the end.I hope that something works out and that i can finally be who i need to be and not be trapped by feelings of anxiety and fear all day every day.
grasping for a stronghold....
~a broken soul
I'm working- I like my job. Its not glorious, but it pays.
I'm going to school.I like it and seem to be doing well so far.
I have great friends- Gina, Jill, Rachel, Daniele, Danielle>I love you guys!
I have a wonderful dad, a tolerable sister and brother in law, and an amazing nephew!
But I'm not happy!!!!
I'm on medication that's suppose to help my anxiety, but I almost feel like things are worse. I'm sleeping better because of it but that's all it's doing. I feel like something is missing. Like a big part of my life that I just can NOT fill.I'm not sure what it is but i NEED to figure it out fast!The past couple of days I just haven't even felt like talking to or seeing anyone but my daddy. It's like no matter what I do I don't enjoy it. I'm not depressed I don't think, just not happy if that makes any sense.I find myself wondering...is this really what I want to be doing right now?Do I really want to be in school? Do I really want to be working at Children's place? Do I really want to be friends with any of the same people?Am I being the person i need to be?Am I getting anywhere in my life?and can I make it without some of the things and PEOPLE that have fallen by the wayside in the past year?I need something big to happen in my life. a big change. something to rattle the edges a little.something that makes everything else fall into place.I have a feeling of what it might be but we'll see what works out in the end.I hope that something works out and that i can finally be who i need to be and not be trapped by feelings of anxiety and fear all day every day.
grasping for a stronghold....
~a broken soul