2016 Year-End Review
Wow, 2016 really sucked. It's the worst year in living memory, really, worse than 2010 or 2011. 2016, frankly, can fuck right off. And with that cheerful thought in mind...
1. What did you do in 2016 that you'd never done before?
Actually, there aren't many. A few are: lived in somewhere that isn't Enfield; paid rent of more than £600; written less than four songs for FAWM (2 this year); visited that Urgent Care Centre at Chase Farm; seen Barenaked Ladies; had an operation under local anaesthetic; had a colonoscopy under sedation (and, related, had a few hours' actual restful sleep); house-sat for a cousin; finished a Pokémon game without cheating; lived in a house with a gay couple; joined a gym (and, related, used a crossfit machine, as I've never done that before); owned an iPhone (briefly); got a side job editing Christian books.
And started a semi-political campaign - here.
2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't lose any weight, although I've managed to keep my job, but I think I pretty much failed on my resolutions last year. Ideally, I'll have a flat stomach by the time I go to my convention in March, but that's not gonna happen this year. I might give up hard cheese for a month or two, though, just to see if that makes any difference.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
India had four whom I looked after shortly after they were born. Then again, she's a cat, and I'm not sure this question means that.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No. I must be the only person in the entire world who can say no to this. Death has been relentless all year; 2016 is characterised by the dying.
5. What countries did you visit?
I still haven't explored outside of England this year. I don't have the time or, crucially, the money.
6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?
A little more job stability would be good, since my hours got reduced and I'm not sure how long I could last after the next month or so. You know, I'd also like a little more space in our house, so I can get back into music-related stuff. And a second EU Referendum in which everyone votes Remain would be nice.
7. What dates from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The EU Referendum date and the American election. I couldn't tell you the dates, but I did a lot of crying. Huge, racking sobs immediately following the Leave announcement. Swearing after the Trump victory.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I think that supporting my girlfriend was probably still my major achievement. it's always difficult to answer this question as I don't have a lot of personal pride, but...
I helped her re-write her CV and encouraged her to go for a job change, which she did - successfully. So I think that helps.
9. What was your biggest failure?
It's not my fault, but Brexit was a catastrophic failure.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I've continuously had the pain of IBS to deal with although that's gone up and down. I've had a couple of slips, trips and falls too - more than usual this year, and a couple which were genuinely bad (taken off skin, open wounds, dripping blood...). I've also had a chest infection (maybe two), a cyst on my head which has been removed, and occasional back and chest pain, because that's how I roll.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Considering where I go when I want to escape, it's still my Cineworld Unlimited card.
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Still morti. And the usual crew - Jack, Thomas, Daniel, Alice, Luke, Maria, Fréya, Matt, Mabel, Rita, Marek, Jenny and Ed - for all the right reasons. I haven't seen a lot of them this year and that's a real shame. They're my best friends.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Jack, Thomas, Daniel, Alice, Luke, Maria, Fréya, Matt, Mabel, Rita, Marek, Jenny and Ed, although for different reasons. "Appalled" isn't really the right adjective here, though.
Also, someone I've never mentioned here before named Ruth. She did something which actually had me go to counselling at which I mostly talked about that one thing. Not really something I can go into here, but it severely fucked me up for the best part of half a year.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Overdraft fees, and pre-notified charges of £5/day whenever I go over my overdraft limit, and bus travel considering the fact that this is London. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to afford to go to the convention this year, but I got money from my grandparents for Christmas, so I will.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Deadpool, initially. I also got quite excited at the prospect of going to Blackpool, seeing James and Girl at the End of the World, which was really one of the best things about this year (the launch gig, the album and the tour). I was also excited about Christmas mostly because of books but also because I got to go to Mass, and I've missed it.
16. What song will always remind you of 2016?
Nothing but Love, also by James - although more people will know it as "that song from all the adverts and football thingies". Yet another James single that failed to chart, but still...!
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Sadder. I couldn't go through 2016 without being so..
b) thinner or fatter? Fatter. Most definitely and one of the things I still hate the most. When my girlfriend gets angry she calls me fat.
c) richer or poorer? Richer. Although don't get excited by this - I can assure you this is only temporary.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Somehing that I wish I'd done more of is spend time with Matilda. I've seen her in a couple of contexts, at family events and such, but she isn't responding to me as positively as she does to, say, my mother, who looks after her a lot. She's an intelligent young girl and has such a great personality, but I'm just not getting the access I got with, say, Harriet or Tom, both of whom adored me.
Comedy. Stand-up, writing it, acting in it and music. I didn't actually do a lot of music this year, writing one half-decent song notwithstanding, and haven't really done anything I'd count as a "performance" (not counting one very memorable stand-up thing that was largely improvised and unannounced). I'd like to have a space to record music, do more stand-up, or be in a band again. Not having that outlet sometimes hurts.
...I'd also have liked to have more sex
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Panicking. I've been doing my best not to panic this year, since my girlfriend needs the support, and I've been doing well enough, except for when I'm on my own, when i tend to panic. On a similar vein, I've been ruminating about the injustices from my past even more than usual, which was actually what the CBT I had was meant to prevent. I don't think I'll ever get over that.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
I was actually house-sitting for my cousin Rosie (and her husband Kerry, and their daughter, my niece, Matilda) over the Christmas period due to cat-related shenanigans. The day itself I spent with my family as usual, except there were less of us without those three, and without my girlfriend, who spent most of the time on her own in a quiet room with a stomach bug thingy. I felt really sorry for her, but it's not the first time she's cried at Christmas.
21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
My parents. Not living with them any more kind of necessitates this.
22. Did you fall in love in 2015?
...
23. How many one-night stands?
None. I don't think I've ever really had a one-night stand. Nothing I can think of really counts.
24. What was your favourite TV programme?
Unsurprisingly it is still Knightmare, although this year I've enjoyed new Robot Wars, new Red Dwarf, new Dave Gorman's Modern Life is Good(ish), and Dara O'Briain's Go 8-Bit, which I'm pleased to say has been re-commissioned.
My Little Pony is still keeping me sane in my dark moments, as is Glee.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nigel Farage. I am convinced that he's the one who's responsible for Brexit, and that's going to fuck over the country he loves so much. I always thought of him as an amusing crackpot sideshow beforehand, but now I see his mocking, racist, abusive rubbery face and genuinely want to be violent towards him. I don't often do hate, but this is the worst.
I also have a space for someone I formerly considered a friend, for breaking the heart of another friend and continually being cruel and mocking towards her. I mentioned him last year, but one year later and it's still happening, in a slightly worse way. I wish I could spend more time with my friend and make her feel better, but I genuinely don't know how!
26. What was the best book you read?
Without a doubt this is The Art of Being Normal by Lisa Williamson. It's the best book I've read since Ready Player One.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Hmmm, this is a very difficult one, as I'm more comfortable with music I know and slightly fearful of approaching new things. Seeing as how I like pretty much all genres, it's a difficult call to make, really.
One thing i did discover about music, which amuses me, is that Brendan B. Brown is the only surviving original member of Wheatus (who are still apparently a thing). It's gone through so many lineup changes that now it's completely unrecognisable from the band that gave us Teenage Dirtbag.
I also have newfound respect for Ron Yeadon, who's been a vital part of James for the past year.
28. What did you want and get?
A different room. It's not at all perfect (and it's more expensive), but it's a step upwards from where we were this time last year.
29. What did you want and not get?
Thinner, obviously; one of the classes I mooted; more money; the thing I didn't get due to Ruth (see above); continuous counselling beyond the 12 weeks I did get; and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic - The Complete First Season boxset (although I can probably get myself that for quite cheap).
30. What was your favourite film of this year?
I made a list of these! We put together all the films with a mark between one and five and then a combined score out of ten. We then picked ten from all the films that scored 8 or more (23 of those), and ordered them. Mine were:
Moana, When Marnie Was There, Deadpool, Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping, Goosebumps, Rogue One (A Star Wars Story), Zootropolis, Captain America: Civil War, The Secret Life of Pets and Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders.
31. What did you do on your birthday?
I can't really remember, but the number of this question is the age I turned on said birthday, which is kind of fun. I imagine that I was at work, actually.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A spotlight. For the same reason as last year. And more time with Matilda, as above.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015?
Apparently it is still Pooka Chic.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I don't do celebrity crushes. Again, I keep reiterating this: if you're in a relationship, you shouldn't answer this question.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Brexit. It is, without a doubt, the worst thing to happen to this country for decades.
37. Who did you miss?
Gran and Bert from my family. Matilda, since I didn't see her that much. Helen, as always. Emma, Lianne and Natalie, who still have a space if they want it. My friends - due to a lack of contact.
And Serafina (aka bondage_siren). I genuinely have no idea why, but dear Glod, I miss Serafina.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Claire! I've never met her before outside of Knightmare Chat and was completely unprepared for the person I eventually got to meet!
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015.
Last year's lesson - "even if you think it can't get worse, it can and it probably will, so brace yourself" - was oddly prophetic. The lesson I've learned through this year of intense frustration and repetition boils down to: "Pooka doesn't get what he wants, so yeah, fuck him".
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"Remind me to breathe at the end of the world, appreciate scenes and the love I've received. There's always a girl at the end of the world." For whatever this is meant to mean, it is at least true. 2016 really was the end of the world.
1. What did you do in 2016 that you'd never done before?
Actually, there aren't many. A few are: lived in somewhere that isn't Enfield; paid rent of more than £600; written less than four songs for FAWM (2 this year); visited that Urgent Care Centre at Chase Farm; seen Barenaked Ladies; had an operation under local anaesthetic; had a colonoscopy under sedation (and, related, had a few hours' actual restful sleep); house-sat for a cousin; finished a Pokémon game without cheating; lived in a house with a gay couple; joined a gym (and, related, used a crossfit machine, as I've never done that before); owned an iPhone (briefly); got a side job editing Christian books.
And started a semi-political campaign - here.
2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't lose any weight, although I've managed to keep my job, but I think I pretty much failed on my resolutions last year. Ideally, I'll have a flat stomach by the time I go to my convention in March, but that's not gonna happen this year. I might give up hard cheese for a month or two, though, just to see if that makes any difference.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
India had four whom I looked after shortly after they were born. Then again, she's a cat, and I'm not sure this question means that.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No. I must be the only person in the entire world who can say no to this. Death has been relentless all year; 2016 is characterised by the dying.
5. What countries did you visit?
I still haven't explored outside of England this year. I don't have the time or, crucially, the money.
6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?
A little more job stability would be good, since my hours got reduced and I'm not sure how long I could last after the next month or so. You know, I'd also like a little more space in our house, so I can get back into music-related stuff. And a second EU Referendum in which everyone votes Remain would be nice.
7. What dates from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The EU Referendum date and the American election. I couldn't tell you the dates, but I did a lot of crying. Huge, racking sobs immediately following the Leave announcement. Swearing after the Trump victory.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I think that supporting my girlfriend was probably still my major achievement. it's always difficult to answer this question as I don't have a lot of personal pride, but...
I helped her re-write her CV and encouraged her to go for a job change, which she did - successfully. So I think that helps.
9. What was your biggest failure?
It's not my fault, but Brexit was a catastrophic failure.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I've continuously had the pain of IBS to deal with although that's gone up and down. I've had a couple of slips, trips and falls too - more than usual this year, and a couple which were genuinely bad (taken off skin, open wounds, dripping blood...). I've also had a chest infection (maybe two), a cyst on my head which has been removed, and occasional back and chest pain, because that's how I roll.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Considering where I go when I want to escape, it's still my Cineworld Unlimited card.
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Still morti. And the usual crew - Jack, Thomas, Daniel, Alice, Luke, Maria, Fréya, Matt, Mabel, Rita, Marek, Jenny and Ed - for all the right reasons. I haven't seen a lot of them this year and that's a real shame. They're my best friends.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Jack, Thomas, Daniel, Alice, Luke, Maria, Fréya, Matt, Mabel, Rita, Marek, Jenny and Ed, although for different reasons. "Appalled" isn't really the right adjective here, though.
Also, someone I've never mentioned here before named Ruth. She did something which actually had me go to counselling at which I mostly talked about that one thing. Not really something I can go into here, but it severely fucked me up for the best part of half a year.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Overdraft fees, and pre-notified charges of £5/day whenever I go over my overdraft limit, and bus travel considering the fact that this is London. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to afford to go to the convention this year, but I got money from my grandparents for Christmas, so I will.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Deadpool, initially. I also got quite excited at the prospect of going to Blackpool, seeing James and Girl at the End of the World, which was really one of the best things about this year (the launch gig, the album and the tour). I was also excited about Christmas mostly because of books but also because I got to go to Mass, and I've missed it.
16. What song will always remind you of 2016?
Nothing but Love, also by James - although more people will know it as "that song from all the adverts and football thingies". Yet another James single that failed to chart, but still...!
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Sadder. I couldn't go through 2016 without being so..
b) thinner or fatter? Fatter. Most definitely and one of the things I still hate the most. When my girlfriend gets angry she calls me fat.
c) richer or poorer? Richer. Although don't get excited by this - I can assure you this is only temporary.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Somehing that I wish I'd done more of is spend time with Matilda. I've seen her in a couple of contexts, at family events and such, but she isn't responding to me as positively as she does to, say, my mother, who looks after her a lot. She's an intelligent young girl and has such a great personality, but I'm just not getting the access I got with, say, Harriet or Tom, both of whom adored me.
Comedy. Stand-up, writing it, acting in it and music. I didn't actually do a lot of music this year, writing one half-decent song notwithstanding, and haven't really done anything I'd count as a "performance" (not counting one very memorable stand-up thing that was largely improvised and unannounced). I'd like to have a space to record music, do more stand-up, or be in a band again. Not having that outlet sometimes hurts.
...I'd also have liked to have more sex
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Panicking. I've been doing my best not to panic this year, since my girlfriend needs the support, and I've been doing well enough, except for when I'm on my own, when i tend to panic. On a similar vein, I've been ruminating about the injustices from my past even more than usual, which was actually what the CBT I had was meant to prevent. I don't think I'll ever get over that.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
I was actually house-sitting for my cousin Rosie (and her husband Kerry, and their daughter, my niece, Matilda) over the Christmas period due to cat-related shenanigans. The day itself I spent with my family as usual, except there were less of us without those three, and without my girlfriend, who spent most of the time on her own in a quiet room with a stomach bug thingy. I felt really sorry for her, but it's not the first time she's cried at Christmas.
21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
My parents. Not living with them any more kind of necessitates this.
22. Did you fall in love in 2015?
...
23. How many one-night stands?
None. I don't think I've ever really had a one-night stand. Nothing I can think of really counts.
24. What was your favourite TV programme?
Unsurprisingly it is still Knightmare, although this year I've enjoyed new Robot Wars, new Red Dwarf, new Dave Gorman's Modern Life is Good(ish), and Dara O'Briain's Go 8-Bit, which I'm pleased to say has been re-commissioned.
My Little Pony is still keeping me sane in my dark moments, as is Glee.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nigel Farage. I am convinced that he's the one who's responsible for Brexit, and that's going to fuck over the country he loves so much. I always thought of him as an amusing crackpot sideshow beforehand, but now I see his mocking, racist, abusive rubbery face and genuinely want to be violent towards him. I don't often do hate, but this is the worst.
I also have a space for someone I formerly considered a friend, for breaking the heart of another friend and continually being cruel and mocking towards her. I mentioned him last year, but one year later and it's still happening, in a slightly worse way. I wish I could spend more time with my friend and make her feel better, but I genuinely don't know how!
26. What was the best book you read?
Without a doubt this is The Art of Being Normal by Lisa Williamson. It's the best book I've read since Ready Player One.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Hmmm, this is a very difficult one, as I'm more comfortable with music I know and slightly fearful of approaching new things. Seeing as how I like pretty much all genres, it's a difficult call to make, really.
One thing i did discover about music, which amuses me, is that Brendan B. Brown is the only surviving original member of Wheatus (who are still apparently a thing). It's gone through so many lineup changes that now it's completely unrecognisable from the band that gave us Teenage Dirtbag.
I also have newfound respect for Ron Yeadon, who's been a vital part of James for the past year.
28. What did you want and get?
A different room. It's not at all perfect (and it's more expensive), but it's a step upwards from where we were this time last year.
29. What did you want and not get?
Thinner, obviously; one of the classes I mooted; more money; the thing I didn't get due to Ruth (see above); continuous counselling beyond the 12 weeks I did get; and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic - The Complete First Season boxset (although I can probably get myself that for quite cheap).
30. What was your favourite film of this year?
I made a list of these! We put together all the films with a mark between one and five and then a combined score out of ten. We then picked ten from all the films that scored 8 or more (23 of those), and ordered them. Mine were:
Moana, When Marnie Was There, Deadpool, Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping, Goosebumps, Rogue One (A Star Wars Story), Zootropolis, Captain America: Civil War, The Secret Life of Pets and Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders.
31. What did you do on your birthday?
I can't really remember, but the number of this question is the age I turned on said birthday, which is kind of fun. I imagine that I was at work, actually.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A spotlight. For the same reason as last year. And more time with Matilda, as above.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015?
Apparently it is still Pooka Chic.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I don't do celebrity crushes. Again, I keep reiterating this: if you're in a relationship, you shouldn't answer this question.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Brexit. It is, without a doubt, the worst thing to happen to this country for decades.
37. Who did you miss?
Gran and Bert from my family. Matilda, since I didn't see her that much. Helen, as always. Emma, Lianne and Natalie, who still have a space if they want it. My friends - due to a lack of contact.
And Serafina (aka bondage_siren). I genuinely have no idea why, but dear Glod, I miss Serafina.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Claire! I've never met her before outside of Knightmare Chat and was completely unprepared for the person I eventually got to meet!
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015.
Last year's lesson - "even if you think it can't get worse, it can and it probably will, so brace yourself" - was oddly prophetic. The lesson I've learned through this year of intense frustration and repetition boils down to: "Pooka doesn't get what he wants, so yeah, fuck him".
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"Remind me to breathe at the end of the world, appreciate scenes and the love I've received. There's always a girl at the end of the world." For whatever this is meant to mean, it is at least true. 2016 really was the end of the world.